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JEFFREY SCHOORMAN
7/10/1984-7/02/2024


This is a place to celebrate the wonder of life, the wonder of the world, and
the wonder of Jeffrey




Autism is a multi-faceted condition. It is an alternate way of looking at the
world, appreciating its beauty and interacting. Jeffrey shared beauty and
laughter and sometimes his pain to our world for almost 40 years. For we who
knew him, loved him, and nurtured him - we are grateful. We will continue to
honor what he taught all of us. And so: welcome to the world of Jeffrey.    


JEFFREY HAS GONE TO FIND HIS PLACE AMONG THE STARS

Jeffrey was plagued by seizure disorder. In the midst of his projects, or the
peace of sleep he would suddenly be stricken by a seizure. This is a frightening
thing to watch, left him drained and in pain and was very unsettling. He would
seek his blanket and ultimately relax into sleep. It took some time for the
sparkle in his eyes to return, and the confidence in his place in the universe.
He would say "home" if we were away, and "bed" if we were already home. Each
re-awakening and re-adjustment was a beautiful small miracle of existence.

 * WRITTEN ON THE PLANE HOME
   
   “You OK.” my son would say. “You OK.” Jeffrey is now among the stars. Like
   the Little Prince, he has returned to his planet. We can no longer hug, but I
   can feel his arms around me in my dreams. I see his beautiful brown eyes that
   sparkled like an elf when he was young, and were filled with worries for the
   world as he grew older. Jeffrey was an expert worrier. And so we would hug.
   And when I suggested a kiss he would put his head down and let me kiss his
   gorgeous dark hair. A few days ago he let me cut his hair and trim his beard.
   He spent 2 days admiring his new look in the mirror. What a handsome young
   man! No not so young. There were occasional silver hairs in the dark brown
   mass. He was due to turn 40 on July 10, 2024. He was always about 6 years old
   in his behaviors, just like Big Bird. He was close to 80 in his worries. He
   was a lot more conscious of things and people around him than most observers
   realized. He could know what was said on the other end of a phone
   conversation. He could hear dog whistles. He was an empath. He was
   over-bonded with his mother. And I was over-bonded with him. I did let myself
   loose once in a while, and that was when I would run away to Paris: not to
   escape Jeffrey, but to find Sandra again. I found a Sandra that became fluent
   in French, that was inspired by art and music and architecture and the beauty
   of the City of Lights. I took lots of pictures. Jeffrey diligently placed the
   prints in album after album after album. They are still on the living room
   floor. I am writing this on the plane home. Jeffrey died yesterday, in his
   bed, with his blanket pulled up around him and a faithful caregiver running
   to his short cry when another seizure cut his life short. There is no blame.
   There is no reason. What remains is love.

 * JEFFREY AND DADDY
   
   This next part I am dedicating to David: Daddy. Daddy is all things solid and
   reasonable. Jeffrey adored his Daddy. When life got tough he took Daddy to
   bed with him because nothing could chase away the worries like Daddy. David
   has chased away a lot of my worries as well. He puts them in perspective,
   finds solutions and chronological progressions to keep them packaged and
   generally has made our life magical and secure. What could be better than a
   magical Daddy. Daddy always promised to be back from his trips, and Daddy was
   always back. Daddy was the first on his feet after a seizure, the first to
   the rescue, the first to find the band-aid. David happens to be a world
   expert on the development of trust in organizations. He knew how to do it for
   home, too. When Jeffrey was first diagnosed with autism, David’s reaction
   was: “We will just have him with us for longer than most parents.” We did not
   expect that “longer” to run short. We have gone from being 24/7 caregivers to
   empty nesters in an evening. That can’t be right. No, we are not empty
   nesters because our boy has gone among the stars. His blanket trailing behind
   him like the Little Prince. He will be talking with Pooh and Piglet, Mary
   Poppins and most definitely all the characters from Beatrix Potter tales. He
   would watch the Royal Ballet’s version of the Tales of Beatrix Potter
   constantly. A bit of Mommy’s dancers, but Jeffrey’s friends. And naturally he
   will be visiting Shining Time Station and the Island of Sodor, along with
   Sesame Street. Jeffrey had a big heart and these friends all lived in his
   heart. They live in my heart and they bring me news of my son.

 * WHAT COMES NEXT
   
   Being the parent of a special needs child, adolescent, adult, is already a
   ticket that comes with a destination unmarked and unsupported. And so you
   navigate, and find the paths, and the lights, and the smiles and the tears.
   And you are happy the journey has changed you. Then suddenly, the journey is
   terminated. Jeffrey has gone. He is with the stars. Who are we now? How can
   we re-invent ourselves as seniors who have suddenly been given a wild card of
   choices but not what we had selected for our lifetime plan B. A new
   discovery. Deep sadness. But there is still beauty in the world. We cling to
   each other in this new world of emptiness.

One of Jeffrey's favorite ways to sort out his world was with his scrapbook. It
was a world of photos - of himself, his birthdays, his favorite people, and all
the places Mommy and Daddy visited. Jeffrey traveled the world in his pictures.
He connected and organized his perspective. This website is an extension of that
scrapbook. We hope that you will peruse it often. We hope that you will add your
memories and your treasured interactions with Jeffrey for all the world. We will
make Jeffrey's world ring in the hearts of all those who struggle to find a
place of acceptance. For Jeffrey's world was a world of LOVE.

A FORMER KLONDIKE NUGGET ENJOYING HIS NUGGETS.

THE LITTLE PRINCE ON HIS PLANET



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THE JOURNEY WILL CONTINUE

I have wanted to write a book to share our experienes with other struggling
families for 30 years. This is a more effective way in our fast-paced world. It
is flexible and open. We encourage you to share with others so that the place
for those with differences is not clouded by fear and anxieties. Nor should the
outlook of care and dedication by the families involved be clouded by guilt.

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WHO WE ARE

We are Sandra Peticolas and David Schoorman. We have been married for 47 years
and Jeffrey enriched our lives for almost 40 of them. We welcome you to submit
additions to our page through the email link. Please contact us with your photos
and memories !


GET IN TOUCH

the world of Jeffrey

West Lafayette, IN
47906 US
EMAIL:youokjeffrey@gmail.com

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Jeffrey would be smiling.