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previous / next navigation options. Personal Finance


'AFTER YEARS AS A STAY-AT-HOME MOM, I'M STARTING TO THINK I SHOULD GET A 'REAL
JOB' — BUT I'M NOT SURE I WANT TO'

Olivia Christensen
2022-01-04T18:59:35Z
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The author is not pictured. The Good Brigade/Getty Images
 * For Love & Money is a biweekly column from Insider answering your
   relationship and money questions.
 * This week, a stay-at-home mom and freelancer feels like she needs to earn
   more money, but wants to take advantage of newfound free time.
 * Our columnist starts with a simple message: There is no wrong choice here.
 * Got a question for our columnist? Write to For Love & Money using this Google
   form.

Dear Love and Money,

I'm a stay-at-home mom that does freelancing and various side hustles to earn
extra income, while my husband is the main provider for our family. Our kids are
getting older, both are in school, and I'm starting to feel like I need to get a
full-time job and contribute more, financially, to our family.

I feel torn between wanting the freedom to spend time with my kids, dogs, and
pursue my fun side gigs, and the freedom of having more income. The kids are
going to need braces, activities are getting more expensive, and I start to feel
panicky when I feel like we might have to dip into savings for these things.
Help! It's such a hard decision and I want to do what's ultimately best for my
family!

Sincerely,

Muddled Mommy

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Muddled Mommy,

It sounds like you are currently in a wonderful season of life. I say this
because while you have a lot going on, you are in a season of choices. Your kids
have reached more independent ages and your husband's income is enough to
financially provide for your family, so the real question here is: What's next
for you?

As a freelancer myself, I recognize this season. It's scary and exciting, and
while I hear you when you say you feel "panicky" about dipping into savings, I
also want to encourage you to recognize that there is no wrong choice here.
Freelancing can be as much of a job as you want it to be, which means if you
choose to stay home so you can play with your dogs and greet the kids at the end
of the day, by devoting more time to building your book of freelance clients,
you will still be able to contribute more to your family's bottom line.



That said, you aren't wrong: The most direct route to "the freedom of having
more income" is probably pursuing traditional employment, but based on the
information you gave me, I think you have a few other options. 

From what I gathered in your letter, you and your husband currently make enough
money to cover your expenses and put some away for the future. This means one
option for bringing in more money is to be strategic with your savings. So often
we treat our savings like a treasure chest from an old-timey cartoon: a place
where we stow away a bit of cash at a time, so someday when we open our chest,
we'll realize how much treasure we amassed over the years. 

But there are ways your money can work for you. Investment is a broad term that
can cover a myriad of options, but whether you sit down with a financial planner
and get into stocks or if you decide to take your newfound free time and use it
to flip houses, this new season of life is a great opportunity for you to get
creative and invest some of your savings beyond braces.

You may have noticed my suggestions are ways you can remain freelancing from
home. I'm pushing for this choice not because there would be anything wrong with
you heading back into the workforce, but because based on your letter, I don't
think you want to. I say this because while your kids' activities are getting
more expensive and braces are right around the corner, it feels like the
timeline of your choice has less to do with looming financial concerns and more
to do with you, for the first time in a long time, having spare time on your
hands. I'd encourage you to slow down and examine that.

You don't say what your husband thinks, so I will assume he is leaving the
decision to you, which means you, a busy mom with a life full of children,
freelance work, dogs and side hustles, finally have the opportunity to choose
what you want to do with some of your time and maybe you're feeling guilty about
it. 

I know you want the best for your family. Money is certainly a big part of that,
but so are you. So, this is me telling you not to feel guilty about pursuing
your freelance work if that's your dream, and to consider getting creative with
your savings so you can spend your afternoons at the dog park. This is your
moment, this is your choice, and that's a milestone worth celebrating. 

Rooting for You and Yours,

For Love & Money

Olivia Christensen
Olivia Christensen is a freelance writer whose work has been featured in outlets
including Romper and Parents magazine. She lives outside Kansas City with her
husband and three children, and when she isn't using her keyboard to share her
opinions, she's probably hiking. 
Read more Read less

Disclosure: This post may highlight financial products and services that can
help you make smarter decisions with your money. We do not give investment
advice or encourage you to adopt a certain investment strategy. What you decide
to do with your money is up to you. If you take action based on one of our
recommendations, we get a small share of the revenue from our commerce partners.
This does not influence whether we feature a financial product or service. We
operate independently from our advertising sales team. Read our editorial
standards.




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