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THE LOCUSTS, THE UN-APPRECIATION KITS, AND EVEN MORE STORIES OF CORPORATE GIFTS
THAT DIDN’T QUITE WORK OUT
by Alison Green on September 26, 2022
On last week’s post about corporate year-end gifts, some readers shared even
more stories of company gifts that went terribly wrong. Here are 10 more that
made me laugh.
1. The locusts
“My prior company gave everyone a small tree and encouraged people to plant it.
Now these were small seedlings maybe 2 inches inside of a small cup used by
dentists for mouthwash and what not. Upon receiving them we read the name ‘Honey
Locusts.’ They literally gave us locusts for employee appreciation. They also
recommended we plant these on our property or randomly plant them on some one
else’s property. These trees grow to be very large and my property couldn’t
accommodate. Two weeks later an email went out stating, ‘Please do not plant
your trees at work, we do not own the property.’”
2. The blown glass
“I once attended a conference where everyone got a blown glass sculpture. An
incredibly fragile blown glass sculpture. Throughout the final session, and the
bus ride back to our hotel, the sounds of breaking glass could be heard – if it
touched anything, it went kaboom. Also, I was flying home the next morning! So I
took every article of clothing I had to spare, packed them around the stupid
thing as tightly as I could, and hoped for the best. Somehow it survived, but
many did not. It was really pretty, and I’m sure it was expensive, but…who
thought that was a good idea?
3. Whoops
“In January of 2020 we all got a pack of Emergen-C with a note saying ‘Bring it
on 2020!’ (in reference to cold and flu season) and it aged like milk on a
summer day.”
4. The hammers
“My company usually just does hoodies or jackets, one year was really nice
laptop backpacks, another year they got everyone these really good emergency car
kits — big red bags, first aid, mylar blankets, tire inflation, reflecting
cones, flares, those cut the seatbelt tools, and more. Usually a success. Then
came the new lady who convinced the partners that $100 gift cards were good.
You think, ‘No problem,’ right?
Welp … you’d be wrong. They came in these big boxes which you’d open to find a
hammer and a chunk of concrete that you had to bash your way through to get to
your card … which were to things like auto parts stores or Cabellas or bass pro
shops.
That was a loud afternoon followed by a damage assessment because we had desks
smashed up, a ridiculous number of wireless mice destroyed … one guy missed his
rock and slammed his cell phone dead center … a broken monitor and one dented
hood by a guy who figured hurling it off the loading dock would be faster.
Been all hoodies ever since.”
5. The parade
“At a previous job, during the busy season, everyone salaried was required to
work a certain amount of weekly unpaid overtime, maybe 10-12 hours. In
‘gratitude,’ the company owners would periodically PARADE through the office
handing out small gifts. Very small, cheap gifts — once it was a packet of off
brand tortilla chips and a shelf-stable container of ‘nacho cheese.’ During this
little parade (owners and their assistants, toting a Bluetooth speaker blaring
music), we workers were expected to drop whatever we were doing to CHEER for the
owners as they benevolently handed out cheap snacks, like aristocrats handing
pennies to the peasants.”
6. The deck of cards
“My old company gave everyone a deck of cards with the company logo on it. OK,
fine, everyone needs a deck of cards, not the worst gift ever. But then we
opened them.
Instead of the standard, suits and numbers, the cards had the Company Values on
them, with symbols corresponding to those values. The top card contained
instructions for a go-fish-type game we were meant to play with them. ‘Do you
have any Innovation? Go fish.’
So basically, the only thing you could do with the cards was play this stupid
game. A bunch of us punched holes in our card decks and strung them together and
hung them around the office like holiday garlands.”
7. The rock
“I once received a rock with the word ‘trust’ written on it in sharpie. Morale
was particularly bad at the time and management thought “trust rocks” would
help. Some rocks were thrown.”
8. The fire blankets
“I worked in a nursing home tied to a large international religious charity for
eight years. They gave us an annual gift, which is unusual in my country. There
was no need for any gift, it wouldn’t have come off as weird or cheap. But year
after year they gifted us fire blankets. The first year I thought this was
useful. The second year I wondered if they had forgotten about last year. The
third year I wondered if they had just received a massive fire blankets donation
they were going through slowly. The fourth year I wondered if they just assumed
we regularly set stuff on fire and went through one blanket per year. The fifth
year I understood we were trapped in an endless loop. The sixth year I started a
blog about it. The seventh year I looked up if there was an aspect of that
religion I had overlooked that somehow connected to fire and blankets. The
eighth year they finally broke me, and I looked forward to receiving my
well-earned blanket, no further questioning of The Blanket.
I still have three of them, 12 years after leaving that position.”
9. The appreciation kits
“My husband, a middle-school teacher whose school decided to rush headlong back
into in-person classes in fall of 2020, was given an ‘appreciation kit’ by his
school on the first day of class (as were all the teachers). One tiny bottle of
hand sanitizer, two 5-count packets of disinfectant wipes, a T-shirt in the
school colors that said ‘we’re all in this together,’ and a booklet with the
number and website for the local mental health crisis line.
Approximately one-quarter of the teaching staff left after the 2020-2021 school
year. For some reason.”
10. The SIM card transfer
“A few years ago, I was working in a telecoms company. This was before ‘smart’
phones were a thing — and to transfer your contacts from one device to another,
you needed to manually copy them to your SIM card, then insert your old SIM into
your new phone, transfer them to the new phone, and then finally put your new
SIM card into the new phone — a complete pain to do!
One year, as part of an employee ‘Christmas stocking’ full of otherwise
unobjectionable things, the company gave us a handy little device to help
automate this transfer. You put your old SIM card in one end, and the new one in
the other and voila! contacts transferred. Except this thing did not work. At
all. What it did instead was wipe your old SIM card of all information — so that
could be hundreds of contacts completely lost — and this was from a time when
people didn’t back up their contacts (and some phones didn’t let you copy
contacts, only move them, so the contacts were lost from the old phone too).
Needless to say, this didn’t generate much Christmas cheer.”
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE:
* how can I stop my employees from giving me holiday gifts?
* I like to give small gifts at work -- am I doing anything wrong?
* Boss's Day is a crock and we need to kill it off
{ 54 comments }
Posted in ask the readers, workplace practices
RETURN-TO OFFICE-INCENTIVES AREN’T WORKING … HERE’S WHAT WORKERS WANT
by Alison Green on September 26, 2022
When millions of office employees started working from home in 2020, the plan
for most was eventually to return to work, not stay remote forever. But two and
a half years later, many really don’t want to go back to the office, and
companies are struggling to figure out how to convince them to return, offering
enticements like free food, prizes, and even alcoholic beverages.
At Slate today, I wrote about how companies are trying to lure workers back …
and what it will really take to do it. You can read it here.
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE:
* does working remotely harm your chances of advancement?
* are remote workers more likely to be laid off?
* company will let us work from home -- but our pay will fluctuate based on our
productivity
{ 199 comments }
Posted in workplace practices
I DON’T WANT TO INTERVIEW A CANDIDATE WHO TOOK 5 DAYS TO RESPOND
by Alison Green on September 26, 2022
A reader writes:
> We posted a job opening on Indeed and emailed a potential candidate to send us
> days and times available for an interview. We did not hear from this candidate
> for five days! This is not acceptable to us as prompt communication is
> essential in our line of work. There was no explanation from the candidate for
> the delayed response.
>
> We no longer wish to interview this candidate. How would an employer politely
> respond or rescind the interview?
Someone taking five days to respond to an interview invitation doesn’t indicate
that they wouldn’t be appropriately responsive if you hired them. They could
have been on vacation, sick, in a time crunch at work, dealing with a family
crisis, or all sorts of other things. You’re extrapolating from something you
shouldn’t extrapolate from.
This candidate doesn’t work for you right now, and so you can’t expect them to
prioritize you the way you’d expect if they did work for you. Certainly if you
saw a pattern of unresponsiveness as they moved through your interview process,
that would be something to pay attention to. But that’s not the case right now.
If you really don’t want to interview them, you could say, “Unfortunately, since
we didn’t hear back from you, we’ve moved on with other candidates but wish you
the best in your search.” But if they’re a strong candidate and you still have
interview slots available, I’d urge you to not to reject them just on principle
… it would be the wrong principle!
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE:
* do I respond to emails too quickly?
* what's up with people responding to emails with a phone call?
* is it possible to be TOO responsive to an interview invitation?
{ 252 comments }
Posted in hiring
COWORKER ASKS ME QUESTIONS HE COULD GOOGLE, EMPLOYER’S SHIRTS DON’T FIT ME, AND
MORE
by Alison Green on September 26, 2022
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. Coworker in a different department asks me inane questions
> I am a 30-year-old woman. I have been at a business for three years in one
> department. A man, about 60, who has been there for 25 years in a different
> department, often asks me for information he could google (addresses, phone
> numbers, employee names at other businesses, etc.). I am in a manager role
> (although not his manager; we are pretty much equals) and have no assistance
> duties assigned for this colleague. I find these requests annoying. What can I
> politely say to him to encourage him to use his resources and problem-solve on
> his own before asking colleagues for help?
“I don’t know, you should google that.” If you say this every time, he’ll
probably stop asking you pretty quickly.
But if you’d like to make more of a point: “I might be missing something — why
are you asking me to do this?” (If you’re comfortable being blunter, you can
drop the first part.)
Or: “You often ask me for info you could google, and which I’d need to google
myself. We work on different teams and I’m not an assistant. What am I missing
about why you’re coming to me for these things?”*
But really, “I don’t know, you should google that” on repeat should put a stop
to it pretty quickly.
* The answer is to that question is almost certainly that you’re a younger woman
who was helpful to him once or twice, or maybe just someone he saw being helpful
to someone else once.
2. The shirts my employer offers don’t fit me
> I work as staff at a university. The dress code is business casual, but on
> Fridays we are allowed to dress in jeans and a university branded t-shirt. My
> department gave us t-shirts, but they only went up to size XXL. I need a 3X,
> so I am unable to participate in “spirit Fridays.” I never said anything about
> it and I just stick with business casual on Fridays. My question is not about
> this particular issue, but I’m including it as background and evidence of a
> pattern.
>
> Recently I was accepted to a leadership development program offered by the
> university. The program director sent a link to an online form for
> participants to fill out. The form asks for t-shirt size and provides options
> from XS to XXL. None of these will fit me. The field is required and there is
> no option to decline a t-shirt, so I can’t submit the form without choosing a
> size.
>
> I could just choose a size that would fit my daughter and give the shirt to
> her, but I’m concerned I will be expected to wear it for program
> events/photos. I also feel shamed, othered, and excluded by the lack of sizing
> options. My university is sending me a clear message that I do not fit the
> look of a “leader.” Given that the program focuses heavily on Diversity,
> Equity, and Inclusion, I wonder if this is worth flagging for the director.
>
> What would you suggest? Request a daughter-sized t-shirt and explain if asked
> to wear it? Decline to fill out the form and email the director with my
> information instead, explaining that the sizes offered do not work for me? If
> this is something I should raise as a DEI concern, how can I do so without
> coming across as scolding, angry, or aggressive? This program is a great
> professional development opportunity and I don’t want to further alienate
> myself.
Please do email the director to explain the t-shirt sizes aren’t inclusive and
won’t fit you and ask how you should proceed since it’s a required field.
Clearly using the words “not inclusive” to someone leading a program that
focuses on DEI might be enough to jog her into realizing this is A Problem, but
you can also spell it out in a straightforward way. For example: “Especially
since the program focuses on DEI, I hope this is something we can change.”
3. I’m supposed to do two jobs for a $30/paycheck raise
> I currently work for for a SaaS company. I was hired as a product analyst and
> although the salary wasn’t what I wanted, it was close and I was told
> promotions were common and come with a 7-15% raise (depending on performance).
> Over the past year I’ve become critical to the team, handle 47% of the
> department workload (proven by our metrics), have wonderful monthly reviews,
> and have the highest client ratings in the company. My managers told me I just
> needed to keep performing like this and I would be promoted/given a raise to
> what I was originally looking for. Well, good news, I just received a
> promotion! There is a hiring freeze though so I’m expected to continue all of
> my current duties (they can’t backfill until 2023 at the earliest) while
> immediately taking over all client-facing meetings, and handling my new
> duties. It’s a lot but I feel like I can handle the added responsibilities.
> The issue lies in my “new” compensation.
>
> Apparently, I was started at a higher rate than some of my coworkers due to my
> experience within the field, so I’m now being told that the pay band for my
> new role only allows a raise of less than 1% from what I currently make (about
> $30 a paycheck before taxes) and this is the most they could get approved with
> the freeze in place. They are asking me to stick with it and they will take
> this into account during annual reviews to get me the max amount, which is
> capped at 4%.
>
> I loved working here before this but this has left a bad taste in my mouth. I
> haven’t signed the promotion paperwork yet as there was a clerical error, and
> I’m unsure if there’s anything I could or should do.
So they have you doing two jobs, one of them a higher level role than you were
hired for, and they are paying you … $30/paycheck extra for that? That’s quite a
good deal for them, and quite a bad one for you.
If they can’t pay you appropriately because there’s a hiring freeze, then by
definition they can’t afford to hire you into the new job at all right now. And
that’s the way I’d approach it with them: “This is a significant amount of
additional work to take on while still doing my old job, without the
compensation to match. I’ll be glad to take on the new position once we’re able
to allocate the appropriate pay for it, but it sounds like the hiring freeze
means we need to wait on that?” (Of course, this requires you to be willing to
risk the promotion, so you’d want to figure out exactly where you stand on that
before having this conversation. Keep in mind, though, that once you start doing
the work, you’ll give up much of your leverage to be paid fairly for it.)
4. Asking about salary when your interviews seem endless
> I was browsing jobs after a bad week at work and found a role that seemed like
> it would be a good fit and would allow me to better utilize my degree than my
> current job. I submitted an application without expecting much, but the next
> day I received a request for a virtual interview with the person who
> previously held the position. I agreed, just to learn more about the job, and
> things seemed to go well. I then had a second virtual interview with the
> person who I would be directly reporting to, and that also went well. I was
> then asked to a third virtual interview with the board of directors, which
> apparently (again) went well. In between interviews, I also had a phone call
> with the person who previously held the job (at my request) just to learn more
> about the day-to-day. All of these interviews took place over the course of a
> week. During that week, I was also asked to complete an online personality
> test and a skills assessment.
>
> The only reason I was able to meet with them so easily is because they were
> virtual interviews, but even then I did have to make up excuses to not be at
> work (my job is not remote). Now I have been asked to come into the office for
> a fourth interview to meet the board of directors in-person. This would have
> to be during a specific time slot four days from today.
>
> This all seems like it would make sense if I was applying for a prestigious
> job. But this job is not something that I have encountered before. It is a new
> position with no historical data, so I am not able to easily find any
> information online, particularly salary info.
>
> Should I reach out for a salary range before I attend any more interviews? I
> have a feeling, based on what I have learned about the responsibilities, that
> this job will pay less than what I am making now (in this economy a
> dealbreaker), and I’ve already spent a lot of time on this company. But there
> is also a small chance that this job has better pay and benefits than what I
> have now. I don’t want to shoot myself in the foot by jumping the gun and
> asking about pay too early.
This is way too many interviews. And unless it’s a very senior position (like
the top position), there’s no reason the board of directors needs to be
interviewing you, let alone twice.
You can definitely ask about salary before you do anything else. Say it this
way: “Before we move forward, can you tell me your salary range for this role so
we can make sure we’re in the same ballpark?” You can ask about the rest of the
process too: “It will be hard for me to continue taking off more work, so I
wonder if you can tell me how many more steps to expect in the process?”
5. Getting reimbursed for tips on work trips
> I’m currently traveling for work and I’m wondering about tipping. I have a
> corporate credit card that I’m using for my hotel, rental car, and meals. It’s
> easy to add a tip to my total when I use my card at a restaurant or something.
> But I’m not sure to handle tips that are usually done in cash, like for the
> hotel housekeeping staff or valet parking. My company does also have a
> reimbursement process, so I could attempt to submit this for reimbursement,
> but they require a receipt for every purchase. Is this just a cost that I’m
> expected to “eat”? (Which would be annoying, but I guess I’d rather deal with
> the personal loss of a few dollars than have service industry workers suffer.)
> How do other companies handle this?
No, you shouldn’t just eat the cost of cash tips. At most organizations, you’d
record the tips you give and submit those along with the rest of your expenses
for reimbursement. Some people do that by writing the tip amount on some form of
receipt connected to the trip (like if you tip housekeeping, write that tip on
the receipt for the hotel stay). Your organization might also have written
guidelines for tipping, so check for those too.
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE:
* my coworker asks me to google things for her and treats me like her assistant
* I google my coworkers -- is that weird?
* my boss asks us to babysit a coworker with anxiety disorder
{ 537 comments }
Posted in short answers
WEEKEND OPEN THREAD – SEPTEMBER 24-25, 2022
by Alison Green on September 23, 2022
This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to
have with other readers, by popular demand.
Here are the rules for the weekend posts.
Book recommendation of the week: Girls They Write Songs About, by Carlene Bauer.
The story of two friends over decades. Beautifully written and perfectly
captures the intensity of 20something friendship, as well as how time can change
the thing you once made together.
I make a commission if you use that Amazon link.
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE:
* all of my 2021 book recommendations
* all of my 2019 and 2020 book recommendations
* all of my book recommendations from 2015-2018
{ 899 comments }
Posted in open threads
IT’S YOUR FRIDAY GOOD NEWS
by Alison Green on September 23, 2022
It’s your Friday good news!
1. “I am an ‘older’ worker, and had gotten to a comfortable position in a
government agency (let’s say llama inspector) that, while not the best, I
thought I could ride to retirement. It had its frustrations, but the autonomy
that I was given made me think that was worth it.
This past summer, after I had inspected a llama facility, I received a call from
the VP of llamas, asking when they would receive their llama approval
certificate. While on the phone, he mentioned that they were looking for a
director of llamas, and in my position I might know some people who would be
well qualified — could he send me the job description to forward to anyone I
might know? I replied that I would be happy to.
After reading the job description, and knowing some about the company and its
goals in improving llamas lives, I realized this position could be a good fit
for me. I called the VP of llamas back, and told him that I might be interested,
and could he tell me more! He was surprised, but excited to tell me all about
the company and their plans for llamas.
Long story short, after interviews with the VP, the president, head of HR, and
director of llama care (using many tips from your site, of course), I was more
than excited about the prospect of this position.
I have now been in this position for over a month, and it has been so wonderful.
I am appreciated. I am heard. I am respected! I am working for a company that is
passionate about improving the lives of llamas. And, I am making more than
double my previous salary! All because the government agency that I worked for
took too long in generating a certificate.
Sometimes the good things happen when you are not looking, or least expect it!”
2. “I was laid off from Globally Known Computer Company in 2017. I took a break
for a while then ramped up my job search. Through connections I picked up a
contract gig that I was assured would become permanent, but which ended January
2020. (That was a blow because all my previous temp or contract gigs had turned
into permanent employment. I’m now within 10 years of possible retirement, so I
was concerned about ageism and being perceived as too senior or too expensive.)
I took a long-planned vacation in Europe, getting home just before the panini
closed the world down. Refreshed, I dove into the job search once again. I felt
a lot of pressure because my partner had taken early retirement when I’d gotten
that last contract gig. Having been a devoted AAM reader for years, I knew how
to customize my resume and tailor cover letters for each application. I did not
despair when I didn’t get responses or interviews; I just forged ahead. My
partner was nervous, but I was confident I’d get something — eventually.
In September 2020 I landed an interview. Within two weeks I had the job,
completely and permanently remote at the salary I asked for. They are great at
showing appreciation for employees without any gross or cringey stuff. In my
first year, I was told many times how grateful they are to have me. There’s a
lot of mutual respect, collaboration, and autonomy, so it’s a great cultural
fit. I’m a heads-down, do the work, no-drama type of employee, so this spring I
was delighted to get a sizable raise and a great bonus without asking. I plan
for this to be the last job I’ll ever need!
I’ve enjoyed Ask a Manager for many years. Every day, Alison and her community
make job searchers more confident and help readers be better employees and
managers. I often share this website with other people. It’s one of the best
parts of the internet. Thank you!”
3. “My career path has been pretty bumpy since getting my bachelors. First, I
ended up not going into the field my degree was in. However, I was able to
leverage some club experience into a project management/event management role. I
had a wonderful boss and I loved my work. Unfortunately, I was let go from that
role in a mass layoff after only a year. That was a gut punch. I think it hurt
more because it wasn’t a reflection of my work, I was just the newest employee.
With only a year’s experience, I wasn’t having much luck finding a new project
management role and ended up moving back to my hometown. I decided to pivot and
try to find a job in IT as I had worked at an IT help desk all through out
college. With that experience, I was able to find a job fairly quickly in a
local small business, but after a few months it turned very toxic. My manager
had no managerial experience and frankly had no business being a manager. There
was a lot of turnover there and I quickly became the most senior person besides
the manager. The manager dumped his responsibilities on me, but none of his
authority. I would let him know about issues so he could address them, but then
get yelled at for not fixing them a few days later. After getting a highly
unprofessional email full of insults and way too many exclamation marks (while I
was out sick no less), I told the owner either he needed to figure out a plan to
move me away from this manager and get him managerial training or I was going to
leave. It became clear that they were not willing to find a solution so we
agreed to a “layoff” so I could still get unemployment. I had only been there 11
months. I was relieved to get out, but also depressed that I had to start over
again.
I decided to stick with IT and took a temp role at another local business. This
new place was so much better than the previous one. I had supportive managers
who had our backs and my coworkers were kind and helpful. I happily accepted
when they offered me a full-time version of the same role. I thrived there,
getting excellent performance reviews, high metric ratings, and I was promoted
after only a year. After 3 years there, I was working with my manager to figure
out my next career move. I decided to send out a couple of applications, with
the plan that if I got an offer, we could leverage that to get this new role
created. I really didn’t take it seriously because I didn’t want to leave my
current company. Until a consulting company asked me do a phone screen, then an
interview with one manager, then an interview with a different manager, and then
an interview with the department director! Each interview went better than the
last and I found I was actually interested in the possibility of moving into IT
consulting. When they asked for my salary range, I did some research and gave
them a range that was 25% – 30% more than what I was making, but was on-par for
the role they had been describing. They ended up giving me an offer higher than
the top of my range, almost 50% of my current salary!! They said they were
impressed with my work and I would be bringing experience that the team
desperately needed. After a lot of thought, I took the plunge and accepted the
offer. It’s now been a month since I started in my new role and I really
enjoying it. My new manager has been great at providing support for me as a new
consultant, while also trusting me as a subject matter expert in my field. I’m
looking forward to learning more about consulting and expanding my skills so I
can provide the best solutions for our clients.
I want to thank you for providing so many wonderful resources. I used some of
your salary negotiation tips when I gave them my salary range. It was so nerve
wracking asking for more than what I was currently making, but I had my research
to back me up and gave the range very matter-of-factly. I about fell out of my
chair when the offer came in above the top of my range. It is great knowing that
they value my skills so highly that they are willing to invest so much in me. I
don’t have imposter syndrome per se, but I do tend to undervalue my skills or
downplay how advanced they are. This change has definitely boosted my
confidence. Thanks again for all your great advice!”
4. “I was burnt out in my field (education) but had no idea how to break out of
the teacher mold. I was able to get a very entry, contract position w the
federal government (working 10 hour days, 6 days a week!) but was desperate for
a change.
Enter your blog: I devoured all of your resume, cover letter, and interview tips
and tricks. Reworked both my resume and cover letter, sent them out to a company
I was dying to work for — and within a couple of days landed the pre screen
interview!
Two weeks and five rounds of interviews later (tech is no joke!) I have a new
job!!! This job is a 50% raise and my first 9-5. I am over the moon excited and
truly would not be here without your advice or the advice from your readers.”
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{ 48 comments }
Posted in Friday good news
OPEN THREAD – SEPTEMBER 23-24, 2022
by Alison Green on September 23, 2022
It’s the Friday open thread!
The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on
any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school).
If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is
a chance to take your questions to other readers.
* If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as
it may be in my queue to answer.
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{ 1,145 comments }
Posted in open threads
COWORKER SAYS FETUSES ARE JUDGING MOTHERS-TO-BE, SENDING A CAKE WITH YOUR RESUME
ON IT, AND MORE
by Alison Green on September 23, 2022
It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go…
1. Coworker says fetuses are judging “mothers-to-be” for what they eat
> This morning, an older male coworker posted an article link on our department
> intranet. It was about fetuses showing reactions to taste on ultrasound exams,
> so it’s maybe very tangentially related to what we do (not worthy of sharing
> on the announcement board for our whole department, in my opinion). But the
> issue is his accompanying comment: “Mothers-to-be, be careful what you eat!
> Your child is judging you!!”
>
> Our department (and org overall) is mostly women, and I am sure I am not the
> only one bothered by the implications of yet another party judging women for
> what they choose to eat. It’s also weird because the article didn’t say
> anything about the fetus having an opinion toward the person consuming the
> food (because how could it?). That’s not even touching on the fact that not
> all mothers-to-be experience pregnancy, and not all people experiencing
> pregnancy are mothers.
>
> My partner thinks I should just take a screenshot and send it to HR, but that
> feels like a little much to me when I could leave a professionally worded
> comment (because we women always have to remain professional even in the face
> of microaggressions). I don’t report to this coworker, and while he is in my
> department, our work doesn’t overlap at all. Should I respond to the comment,
> and if so, what would be best to say?
I agree with you that it doesn’t rise to the level of taking it to HR, but it’s
definitely worth saying something. Personally, I’d reply, “Ugh, more judgment of
what women eat? This doesn’t belong here.” But you could say it however you’re
comfortable with — I don’t think you need dance around it too delicately.
2. Sending a cake with your resume on it
> I wanted to get your take on this LinkedIn Post about a woman who sent a cake
> with her resume on it to a party hosted by Nike that she was NOT invited to.
>
> I use to hire student workers when I worked at a large university. One of my
> top dislikes were gimmicks. I don’t mind some creativity, but I want to see it
> more so in your portfolio or in the application process that we’ve laid out
> (especially because we want to keep it fair and equitable).
>
> Many commentators are praising her for her creativity, but I disagree. If I
> was managing a university event, with external stakeholders, and a random cake
> showed up with a resume on it, I would not serve the cake at the event
> (primarily because we have catering contracts at the university level). So now
> I have a new problem, where to put this random cake? Is there a kitchen in
> this building? If not, then do I have to go to a building where I have keycard
> access and put it in a faculty/staff fridge?
>
> But what if I put the cake in the employee lounge fridge and someone ate it
> before I had the chance to take the picture? So now I need to take a picture,
> then print it out to file with other resumes I’m reviewing.
>
> But then if I do accept this resume cake (in my scenario from a student) and I
> ultimately hire them, would that mean other students would send me an endless
> stream of resume cakes at every major university event?
>
> I may be catastrophizing here, but it seems like more of a burden (especially,
> because it is being delivered to an event). I guess the good news that is even
> if she doesn’t get a job with Nike, she went viral on LinkedIn, which could
> help her job search. Am I off-base here? What are your thoughts?
No, I agree with you. I’m generally opposed to gimmicks in job-searching (unless
maybe if you are applying for a job thinking up gimmicks, in which case I guess
go for it? but even then you’d have to proceed with caution). The thing about
using gimmicks like this is that they will turn off a ton of of hiring managers
who will rightly find them overly aggressive, cheesy, out of touch with what
employers are looking for, or in some cases creepy (plus in this case, the ones
who don’t want to receive food from strangers). And the ones who like it — well,
you’ll have just screened for managers who respond to flash over merit, and
that’s not who most people want to work for.
To avoid that trap, a gimmick would need to be related directly to the most
important skills an employer is looking for so that it showcases the right
things about you, rather than just shouting “look at me!” For most jobs, a
resume cake is not that. (I assume the idea was supposed to be that the cake
would show creativity and resourcefulness, but it doesn’t really show those
things very strongly or in a way that overcomes the rest of the issues.)
3. I want to leave but I’m worried about my employees
> I’ve been the CEO of a small not-for-profit for a short but difficult
> six-month period. The job has been very different to what I expected, with
> very significant problems to navigate with staff. I didn’t know about the
> problems when I accepted the job, but became aware in phone calls with Board
> members just days after. The problems have dominated my work. I’m not sure but
> if I had been fully informed I may not have accepted the job. It’s taken a
> toll.
>
> If I didn’t have any concerns about staff, I would leave now. I’ve been
> unhappy in the role since the start and in just a few months I’m worn out.
>
> The problem is that I’m committed to staff. It’s a real concern to me that if
> I leave others will follow, and still others may lose their jobs with nothing
> to go to. I’m not overestimating the impact of my leaving; it’s a fledgling
> company that feels like it has a small window to turn things around but will
> otherwise fail. A few key staff are very fatigued by the problems and they
> need stability.
>
> I don’t think there’s an easy yes/no answer here, but I’d love to have your
> thoughts on what to consider in making a decision.
If you want to leave, you should leave. When you try to protect other people
without their knowledge or consent, it can have ramifications you never intended
or anticipated. For example, you might have someone who’s considering leaving
themselves but figures they’ll stick it out since you are, when in fact it would
be far better for them to get out. Or what if you hold off on leaving to protect
their jobs, but by the time you finally do leave, the job market is a lot worse
for them than it is now? Or one of them is pregnant or sick when you leave in a
year and feels it’s the wrong time to change jobs but they could have done it
more easily right now if they had known they were going to need to? Obviously
this is just all wild speculation and none of it might happen, but there are so
many factors like this that can come into play that it doesn’t make sense to
time your own leaving based on what might be best for other people; you just can
never know.
Make the decision that’s right for you, and trust that your staff will figure
out what’s next for them, whatever happens.
And for what it’s worth, small organizations that have a single point of
failure, like one specific employee, tend to fail — or at least flail —
regardless.
4. Turning down an interview when I like the job
> I was recently contacted by an external recruiter about a job. They saw my
> profile on LinkedIn and thought I would be a good fit for the position they
> are hiring for. That specific position is the kind of work I am looking to
> move into eventually, so I agreed to have a brief conversation with them. It
> turns out that the job title and responsibilities are just what I am looking
> for, but the timing isn’t right for me (I’m pregnant) and they aren’t offering
> the kind of hybrid remote set up I want/need in my life right now. The pay is
> great and the company gets great reviews on Linkedin and Glassdoor, but the
> benefits don’t match or do better than what I have now at my current job,
> where I am pretty happy.
>
> The recruiter wants to send my resume on to the hiring manager. I have to
> contact this recruiter and tell him I don’t want to move forward. I would be
> interested in a similar role and that particular company in the future, but
> the timing just isn’t right. How do I effectively say all of that to leave the
> door cracked open just a smidge? Or, should I send my resume so that I get my
> foot in the door with that company, then back out? That feels sneaky but I’ve
> never been actively recruited before.
Don’t move forward with a job you know you wouldn’t take right now. But you
could say, “The timing isn’t right for me right now for a variety of reasons,
but this is the exact kind of work I’d like to move into eventually. I’d love to
reach out in the future if my situation changes.”
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{ 557 comments }
Posted in short answers
WHAT DOES SELF-CARE LOOK LIKE AT WORK?
by Alison Green on September 22, 2022
A reader writes:
> I’ve been working through some significant program transitions and expansion
> as a manager at a basic needs nonprofit. The need, as you certainly know,
> continues to grow, and we’re feeling it exponentially. My boss asked me what
> my strategies for caring for myself at work were, and I realized that I don’t
> even really know what that entails!
>
> I understand how to care for myself in my personal life, etc., but that kind
> of thing in a work setting doesn’t feel intuitive. I’m wondering if you might
> be able to talk more about what self-care and recuperation can look like in
> the office.
The big ones are boundaries and time off. It’s stuff like:
• Disconnecting from work on a regular basis, and not checking email and
messages once you leave for the night or over the weekend. If you have a job
that requires you to do some of that, you should be very disciplined about not
doing it whenever you don’t absolutely have to. When you have a job that
requires long hours, it can be easy to get into the habit of checking/responding
to email even when you don’t need to … but it’s hugely important to give
yourself large chunks of time when you’re not thinking about work, even if you
think you don’t mind. You should mind, because over time that cumulative “always
on” feeling will take a toll.
• Taking real time off, preferably in big blocks like a full week or a full two
weeks and not just a day here and a day there. For a lot of people, it takes a
few days to fully disconnect mentally, and then your vacation is over as soon as
you’ve managed to do that. And make sure it’s clear you shouldn’t be contacted
while you’re away.
• When you have a full workload, being assertive about saying no to projects
unless something else comes off your plate or gets pushed back.
• Carving out time at work where you can just think. If every minute of your
work day is allocated to specific tasks, you’re much less likely to come up with
new ideas and better approaches, more likely to miss things like “project X
isn’t paying the same same dividends it used to,” and more likely to feel
drained and exhausted all the time. Ensure your weeks (or at least your months)
contain some space to just think.
Beyond that, the answer depends on what you personally find valuable. It might
be stuff like making time to take a walk outside every day, or ensuring you eat
a healthy lunch away from your computer, or being more deliberate about
recognizing your own progress and accomplishments. But very few of those smaller
tactics will be enough if you don’t tackle the big ones above.
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{ 217 comments }
Posted in work habits
ASK A MANAGER IN THE MEDIA
by Alison Green on September 22, 2022
Here’s some coverage of Ask a Manager in the media recently:
I talked with The Guardian about the new rules of the office, including dealing
with office chairs; burping, farting, yawning, or sneezing during meetings; and
asking to work flexible hours.
I talked with Cosmopolitan about how to deal with job rejection.
Marketplace referenced an AAM letter about using astrology to analyze employees.
I talked to Fortune about cover letter mistakes.
Business Insider recommended the Ask a Manager book as a gift for new grads.
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{ 40 comments }
Posted in me, media, etc.
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