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SOCIOPATHS: WARNING SIGNS AND RED FLAGS

Medically Reviewed by Zilpah Sheikh, MD on December 26, 2023
Written by Deanna Altomara
   
 * What Is a Sociopath?
 * Sociopath vs Psychopath
 * Sociopathy Traits
 * How to Deal With Someone With ASPD
   
 * Takeaways
 * FAQs
   
 * 

7 min read



WHAT IS A SOCIOPATH?

Sociopath is an outdated, informal term for someone who has antisocial
personality disorder (ASPD). This disorder can cause you to lack empathy, which
means you don't care about or understand other peoples' feelings. You might not
feel remorse for bad things you do, and you might often take advantage of others
for your own personal gain. 

Scientists aren’t sure exactly what causes ASPD, but both nature and nurture
seem to be involved. You are more likely to have ASPD if you have a family
history of the disorder or you experienced something traumatic while growing up.
You are also more likely to have it if you are male, had behavioral problems as
a child, or grew up in an unstable environment. Many people are unaware of the
disorder and may never be diagnosed. 

The word sociopath (and its cousin, psychopath) carries a lot of stigma and
misconceptions. Popular movies and books tend to show sociopaths as cruel and
heartless. As a result, people often think that those with ASPD are always
criminals, but this isn’t true. These stereotypes make it hard for people with
ASPD and their families to identify the condition and seek help.

To avoid stigmatizing people with the disorder, it is best to avoid calling
someone a sociopath or psychopath. In casual conversation, focus on a person’s
problematic behaviors, such as lying or illegal behavior, rather than labeling
them a sociopath. When talking about the clinical disorder, say "person with
ASPD." These simple changes lower the shame around the disorder so that people
feel more comfortable getting a diagnosis and seeking treatment.

High-functioning sociopath



This is an outdated, non-clinical term that refers to people who have mild ASPD
traits or are good at hiding them. As a result, they can be successful in
everyday activities like working or going to school. Some may hold highly
respected careers, such as a businessperson. They might seem charismatic or
charming but are actually manipulative. They might excel in their profession by
using or manipulating others. The same can be true in their personal life. 

It’s harder to tell when someone has high-functioning ASPD, but that doesn’t
mean it’s not harmful. Their insincerity and lying can still hurt the people
around them.

Low-functioning sociopath 

This is also an outdated, non-clinical term informally used to describe people
who struggle to hide their ASPD traits. They might not have the social skills to
quietly manipulate and deceive. Instead, they might rely on threats or violence
to get what they want. They may also engage in illegal behavior, and they often
have other harmful conditions like addiction. ASPD can also be part of another
serious mental health condition, such as bipolar disorder.

Borderline sociopath

There is no such thing as a borderline sociopath. ASPD is often confused with a
similar condition called borderline personality disorder (BPD). Both are part of
a family of disorders called cluster B personality disorders. These tend to
cause emotional, unpredictable, and dramatic behavior. People with BPD have mood
swings driven by stress, low self-esteem, and fear of abandonment. It's common
for people with ASPD to also be diagnosed with BPD.

A person with antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) may be considered high- or
low-functioning, depending on how much their condition affects their ability to
function in everyday life. (Photo credit: E+/Getty Images)


SOCIOPATH VS PSYCHOPATH

People often confuse the terms sociopath and psychopath and use them
interchangeably. They aren’t different in the clinical sense -- neither is an
official diagnosis. They both refer to someone who has ASPD. You can think of
psychopathy as a subset of ASPD with it's own set of behaviors that set it apart
from sociopathy. On the ASPD spectrum, psychopathy is generally seen as a more
severe form of ASPD than sociopathy. 

According to research, psychopathy has a stronger genetic association.
Scientists think that parts of the brain involved in emotions don't fully
develop. Although sociopathy can also be inherited, abuse and trauma in
childhood are more common causes.

 


SOCIOPATHY TRAITS

It is important to realize that people have many personality traits. Someone may
exhibit selfishness or act aggressively, but that doesn't mean they have ASPD.
Since many people who have ASPD don't recognize these traits as a problem,
watching for consistent behavior patterns is necessary.

These are some common signs of ASPD:

 * Lack of empathy for others
 * Impulsive behavior
 * Attempting to control others with threats or aggression 
 * Using intelligence, charm, or charisma to manipulate others
 * Not learning from mistakes or punishment
 * Lying for personal gain
 * Showing a tendency toward physical violence and fights
 * Generally superficial relationships
 * Sometimes, stealing or committing other crimes
 * Threatening suicide to manipulate without the intention of actually doing it
 * Abusing drugs or alcohol
 * Trouble with responsibilities such as a job, paying bills, etc.

Common things people with ASPD say

People with ASPD can be very manipulative. Some may use outright threats,
whereas others hide their intentions with charm or passive-aggressiveness. 



Manipulation can sound like:

 * "It wasn’t my fault." Instead of accepting blame, manipulators might lie
   about or downplay their role in a conflict. This might make you feel
   sympathetic. 
 * "That’s not true." People with ASPD often lie to get what they want. 
 * "I’ve never met someone as kind as you." Flattery is used to get your
   support, and later, favors. 
 * "At least you don’t have it as bad as me." People might use this phrase to
   invalidate your feelings so you can focus on them instead.
 * "Just kidding!" Some people use sarcasm to hide mean remarks.
 * "You're so sensitive." People with ASPD might say this to make you feel like
   you're overreacting to something hurtful they've said or done.
 * "I did it for you." This pins the blame on you, not the speaker.
 * "If you really loved me, you would do this." Manipulators might take
   advantage of your feelings to get their way.
 * "If you break up with me, I’ll kill myself." Manipulators use threats to
   force you to do what they want.
 * "You’re imagining things." This form of manipulation is called gaslighting.
   It makes you doubt yourself and your sanity.


HOW TO DEAL WITH SOMEONE WITH ASPD

The most important thing when you're dealing with someone with ASPD is to
protect yourself. Even though it might be a friend or loved one with the
disorder, you have to put your well-being first. Although your first thought
might be to help them get treatment, that can be very difficult. People with
ASPD are unlikely to seek professional help or even realize they have a
problem. 

To protect yourself, take these steps:

Maintain your boundaries. Keep your interactions with them short and to the
point. Avoid engaging with them emotionally, and do not give them any personal
information or sensitive details. 

Seek support and guidance. Turn to trusted friends and family members for
emotional support. If possible, consult with a mental health professional for
further guidance on how to deal with the person with ASPD.

Educate yourself. Learn the signs of ASPD so that you can spot the behaviors and
understand their tendencies and motivations.

Avoid confrontation. The situation can quickly escalate and become unsafe.
Remain neutral and composed when dealing with someone with ASPD. Showing emotion
can leave you vulnerable to manipulation.

Do not try to change them. People with ASPD do not see that they have a problem
and it can be very difficult to change their view. It may also cause them to
become more enraged, violent, and manipulative. 

If someone you love has ASPD, it can be very isolating. You can get help from a
therapist or find a support group. You won't be able to change your loved one's
behavior, but you can learn ways to understand and cope, or ways to set
boundaries and protect yourself.

If you have experienced anxiety and depression as a result, support groups or
therapy can help you. Having someone to talk to can make things easier. 


TAKEAWAYS

People with ASPD aren’t evil -- they have a condition that makes it hard for
them to empathize with others or act according to social and societal norms. If
you or someone you know has ASPD, talk with a mental health professional. They
can provide information about possible treatments or strategies to address
manipulative behaviors.


FAQS

Can people with ASPD love their children? 

People with ASPD can love close family members, but they might struggle to
connect with anyone else.

What upsets someone with ASPD? 

Many people with ASPD crave love and connection. However, they struggle to
empathize with those around them, which makes it hard for them to form
meaningful relationships.

What is someone with ASPD's weakness? 

It is difficult for people with ASPD to control their impulsive and
thrill-seeking behavior. This can cause a lot of frustration as well as
dangerous outcomes.


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