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CAROLYN HAX: HOW TO RELATE TO OTHERS WITHOUT MAKING IT ABOUT YOU

A letter writer wants to break a “selfish” habit of relating others’ stories
back to personal experience.

Advice by Carolyn Hax
Columnist
June 3, 2024 at 12:00 a.m. EDT

(Illustration by Nick Galifianakis for The Washington Post)

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Adapted from an online discussion.

Dear Carolyn: I’ve realized I can be selfish and try to relate to others by
relating their experiences to my own. How can I do better?

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— Recentering

Recentering: Try just listening. When there’s a pause in the conversation that
beckons to you to take part, ask a thoughtful question about the person’s
experience. Maybe it can be informed by your own, but you needn’t say that part
out loud.


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