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Trans


FROM ZE AND ZIR TO THEY/THEM: HERE’S WHY YOU SHOULD RESPECT GENDER PRONOUNS

 * Sep 24 2019
 * Written by Amy Ashenden

 * Share
   
 * Save for later
 * Listen

Transgender YouTuber Jackson Bird explains gendeer pronouns (Jackson Bird for
PinkNews)

You’re probably familiar with gender pronouns she, he and them, but what do ze
and zir mean? There’s a long list of gender pronouns and it can be hard
adjusting to using different ways of referring to people.

We asked transgender man Jackson Bird to explain what different pronouns mean,
and share tips on how to ask someone their preferred pronouns, as well as how to
let people know your own.

Being called the wrong pronoun can feel “demeaning” and “frustrating”, says
Bird.

Respecting pronouns is especially important for transgender, non-binary and
gender-non-conforming people who “have maybe had to work very hard to be seen in
the world as they gender that we are, pronouns are particularly powerful”.

Watch the video below:




GENDER PRONOUNS: WHAT DO ZE AND ZIR MEAN?

Ze, zir, zie and ze and are all gender pronouns – much like he/him, she/her and
they/them – that some transgender, non-binary or gender-non-conforming people
might use if gender neutral pronouns make them feel more comfortable.

Everyone has gender pronouns – including cisgender people (cisgender means you
identify with the gender you were assigned at birth).

A non-exhaustive list of gender pronouns would include: she/her, he/him,
they/them, ze/zir, ze/hir, xe/zem, and zie/hir, xe/xem, and ey/em.

Someone’s gender expression doesn’t mean they have to use a particular set of
pronouns. For example, singer Sam Smith used he/him pronouns when first coming
out as non-binary. Smith later decided they prefer they/them pronouns.


WHAT SHOULD YOU DO IF YOU GET SOMEONE’S GENDER PRONOUNS WRONG?

If you intentionally and repeatedly use the wrong pronouns for someone, they’ll
likely consider you to be misgendering them, which can be hugely distressing for
anyone but particularly for trans, non-binary and gender-non-conforming people
who may struggle to be recognised as their gender by others.

Using the wrong pronouns for someone could also risk outing a transgender person
to people they are not out to and/or may be transphobic.

Making a mistake, however, can happen and it shouldn’t be a big deal, says Bird.

“”If you still trip up and stay the wrong pronoun, here’s what to do: correct
yourself and move on,” he explains.

“Don’t make a big deal out of it – plenty of people have brain farts and
misspeak all the time.

“The more you treat it like a quick slip-up, the more the other person might
believe it actually was just a slip-up and the less likely you are to put them
in danger.”


BEING AN ALLY.

To help normalise the conversation around pronouns, you can be a good trans ally
by putting your pronouns in your social media bio or your email signature at
work.

If you’re part of a club or in a meeting, you could also introduce yourself with
your pronouns as well as your name – for example: ‘Hi, I’m Jackson Bird, my
pronouns are he/him.’


COMING OUT AS TRANSGENDER?

If you’re coming out as transgender, non-binary or anywhere on the genderqueer
spectrum and you wish to change your pronouns, it can be tricky to know how to
go about this.

Trans YouTuber and author of Sorted, Jackson Bird, says if you’re confident
telling people, they’ll be more likely to mirror your energy and react “in a
chill, respectful way”.

His advice is: “I first starting experimenting with he/him pronouns with trusted
friends long before I came out publicly because, for me, those pronouns were an
important part of my male identity that I wanted to get used to and see if they
felt right.

“The weird thing about pronouns is that even when they do feel right, they can
still feel uncomfortable for a while as you get used to them.”

Changing pronouns can even be hard for the individual, he explains, and it’s
normal for trans people to “sometimes use the wrong pronouns in our head for
ourselves”.

“Even if your old pronouns never felt right, you likely did use the same
pronouns for many, many years and change can take time to adjust to.”

Watch more trans and non-binary content on PinkNews’ YouTube.






 * Drag
 * Dec 09 2023

Start your engines! All 15 seasons of RuPaul’s Drag Race US ranked from worst to
best
More: gender-neutral pronouns GenderFluid genderqueer non-binary Transgender



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