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Carlyn Beccia
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Nov 23, 2020

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10 SIMPLE WAYS TO MAKE YOUR VOICE SOUND MORE ATTRACTIVE


YOUR VOICE CAN SEDUCE OR DRIVE PEOPLE AWAY


Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

Love is blind. Or so 2020’s hottest reality show claimed. In each episode,
daters spoke behind closed doors and chose a partner based solely on
conversations.

But the show’s attempt to rule out superficial traits like appearances had one
obvious flaw —someone’s voice is a huge part of sexual attraction.

When someone has a smooth voice, it can make you want to slide under your sheets
for days with them. And when someone has a nasal sounding voice, it feels like
you are trapped in a locked cage with Fran Drescher.

Voice is a make or break trait because we make assumptions about someone’s
personality from their voice. In one study, participants accurately predicted
what someone looked like from their voice alone and matched faces to voices with
around 70% accuracy.

AI did even better. The computer program, Speech2Face was able to generate a
photorealistic face from a small voice clip. And it really looked like each
speaker.

You are probably already aware that your voice is affected by your lungs,
diaphragm, and voicebox. But your voice also changes with your facial structure,
expressions, posture, fluctuating hormones, and even your mood. In one study,
participants could accurately estimate someone’s weight, height, and age from
just their voice.

But researchers have found that we are attracted to only certain voices. Recent
studies found men prefer a higher-pitched voice in women, while women preferred
a steady, lower-pitched voice in men. This gender preference is because a
higher-pitched voice indicates a smaller body, while a lower-pitched voice
indicates a larger body.

Even stranger, when women were ovulating, their voice was rated as more
attractive because the increased estrogen raised the pitch. (The spike in
estrogen indicates fertility.)

Clearly, it is not always what you say that makes you likable but how you say
it.

So here are some tips to make your voice sound as sexy as Marilyn Monroe singing
Happy Birthday or as deep and steady as a Barry Manilow song.



> “There are two kinds of speakers: those that are nervous, and those that are
> liars.” — Mark Twain


HOW TO MAKE YOUR VOICE SOUND MORE ATTRACTIVE

Most people do not like the sound of their voice, but the only way to pinpoint
where your voice needs improvement is to record it. So get out your chosen
recording device and practice the following tips.


1. SPEAK FROM THE DIAPHRAGM.

People judge how trustworthy you are a half a second after your very first
“hello.” But if that first hello sounds breathy and labored, then the listener
perceives you as anxious.

When you speak from your diaphragm, your voice sounds smooth and relaxed. This
is because you exert less effort breathing from your diaphragm than your mouth.

To practice speaking more from your diaphragm, voice coaches recommend lying on
your back with your knees slightly bent. Next, place your hands on your ribcage
and breathe in through your nose. You should feel your stomach push against your
hand. As you exhale, your stomach moves downward.

This exercise will teach you to breathe from your diaphragm. And when you
breathe from your diaphragm, you also speak from your diaphragm.

Another trick to engage your diaphragm is to laugh with a deep belly laugh. This
will engage your diaphragm and make your voice resonate with sex appeal. So
before that big interview or phone date, laugh like a madman.


2. FIND YOUR MAXIMUM RESONANCE POINT.

Your maximum resonance point is the ideal vocal range that makes you sound the
most attractive. Women tend to force their voice in a slightly higher range to
sound more appealing, while men tend to speak slightly lower. But forcing your
pitch an octave higher or lower makes your voice sound unnatural.

To find your maximum resonance point, you can steal a trick from opera singers —
a lip drill.

Inhale through your nose and then exhale through closed lips like you are
blowing a raspberry. Repeat a few times. These lips drills force you to relax
your vocal cords.


3. DON’T PUNCH YOUR WORDS.

Singers are taught to never “punch” their words. Word punching happens when the
speaker runs out of oxygen, so their words come out choppy. Punched words make
you sound anxious and weak because our lizard brains do not like to hear someone
gasping for air.

You want your words to flow off your breath and not stop your airflow. You can
avoid punching your words by engaging your diaphragm more.


4. CLEAR YOUR THROAT.

It sounds simplistic but clearing your throat eliminates guttural sounds caused
by phlegm. Just don’t clear your throat too aggressively because vocal cords are
delicate and damage easily.

One way to gently clear your throat is to drink water. Lack of hydration will
cause your vocal cords to swell. It’s why singers constantly drink water.


5. DO NOT ALLOW INFLECTION AT THE END OF YOUR SENTENCES.

Inflection occurs when you speak with a higher pitch at the end of a sentence.
We do this naturally when asking a question, but some people make statements
with an inflection at the end too. This communicates doubt and makes you sound
less confident. Instead, keep your tone steady unless you are asking a question.


6. CONTROL YOUR VOLUME.

Typically, our natural volume is dictated by whom we are speaking to and our
environment. As someone who is soft-spoken, I am really unnerved by loud
talkers. I am not alone. Screaming or talking loud triggers a fight or flight
stress response in the listener. (Screaming also damages vocal cords.)

So try to make a conscious effort to speak slightly below your normal volume.


7. REMEMBER TO PAUSE.

Speaking without pausing becomes monotonous and is sure to put your listener to
sleep. Pausing creates suspense. Voice coaches recommend you pause with
transition words — but, and, because, then, when. And try to limit these
dramatic pauses, or you risk sounding affected.

When I give a book lecture or radio interview, I will often add ellipses in my
talk notes to remind myself to insert a pause. If I want a steady rest, I will
use the typical “…” in my notes. If I want a more dramatic pause, I will write
out “…..” to remind myself to insert a longer pause.


8. SLOW DOWN YOUR TEMPO.

One of the most common mistakes people make when nervous is speaking too fast.
Guilty.

Listeners often tune out fast talkers because their brains must work harder to
keep up. Fast talkers also come off as more self-centered because speeding
through communication does not build rapport.

Fortunately, you can train yourself to speak slower. One trick is to focus on
articulating every word. Another trick is to stretch out your vowel sounds while
keeping your words connected. It might feel awkward at first but will become
effortless in time.

Voice coaches also recommend you practice reading out loud to train yourself to
speak slower. Try reading poetry. The line breaks naturally force you to slow
down.

And unless you are reading off side effects for a Viagara commercial, remember
to vary your tempo. Slow down your tempo to focus the listener’s attention.
Speed up your tempo at key moments to excite your listener.


9. STAND UP STRAIGHT

When you are hunched over, your diaphragm is collapsed, making it hard for air
to exit your body. Before giving a radio interview, I will often stretch my arms
above my head in my “power pose.” A power pose not only opens your diaphragm but
increases testosterone and decreases cortisol, which will make you sound more
relaxed and confident.


10. SMILE

Author Vanessa van Edwards’ research on voice attractiveness found how
aggressive your voice sounds also affects your likeability. In one experiment,
when people answered the phone while smiling, listeners rated those voices as
more likable. Surprisingly, a happy voice was even preferred over an assertive
sounding hello in both genders. So before you pick up the phone…smile.

A word of caution: Don’t overdo the smiling. If you smile too much, your facial
muscles will get cramped and make your voice sound tense.



When I talk on the phone, I usually get under my dining room table. I know…it’s
weird. I like the cavelike privacy, and lying on my back forces me to use my
diaphragm.

So I leave you with one last tip — the best way to improve the sound of your
voice is to stay relaxed. Maybe a stiff drink relaxes you (Opera singers swear
by Whiskey. It supposedly helps you maintain your voice). Or maybe it is your
unique warrior pose. Find something that works for you.




MORE FROM CARLYN BECCIA:


IF YOU WANT TO SEDUCE SOMEONE, DROP SEVEN VEILS


THE DANCE OF THE SEVEN VEILS TEACHES US THE ART OF SEDUCTION

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