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Guy Asks If He’s The Jerk For Helping His Younger Brother And Not The Twin
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155points


5.1K

Parenting, People3 days ago


GUY ASKS IF HE’S THE JERK FOR HELPING HIS YOUNGER BROTHER AND NOT THE TWIN
SISTER WHO’S THE PARENTS’ FAVORITE


Robertas Lisickis
BoredPanda staff


If you ask any parent “who’s your favorite child?”, chances are you will almost
always hear the official answer: “we love them both equally” or “we do not play
favorites” or the like. On rare occasions you will hear them joke about who the
favorite is, but maintain a stance of all kids being treated equally. Though it
might not be the case, but they at least try their best to avoid scarring their
children for life.



However, there are, sadly, parents who play favorites and don’t even try to hide
it. Enter this Redditor who got some flack for supporting his brother, who the
parents openly treated like a scapegoat, but favored his twin sister. So much,
in fact, so as to spoil her.

More Info: Reddit


WHILE EVERYONE AGREES THAT PARENTING ISN’T EASY, EVERYONE ALSO AGREES THAT
PARENTS SHOULDN’T GIVE IN TO FAVORITISM EITHER



Image credits: Derek Bridges (not the actual photo)

So, a 20-year-old male Redditor turned to the r/AmITheA-Hole community about a
predicament he found himself in. You see, OP has twin siblings—“Joe” and “Jill”.
Now, the parents always wanted a daughter, so when they had twins, the daughter
was showered with love, but Joe, on the other hand, as an extra kid in this
deal, got the role of the “scapegoat”.

As for OP, he is the oldest grandson on both sides of the family, so he is in a
more fortunate position, but the problem is really not with just the parents as
it’s the entire family that’s playing the favoritism game.

But, because the older brother has a heart, he started taking on a supportive
role with regards to Joe—not only because he detested how spoiled the twin
sister was because of the way their parents pampered her, but also because it
was the right thing to do and he didn’t want him to be alone in the family.




A CONCERNED BROTHER TURNED TO REDDIT TO FIND OUT IF HE WAS WRONG TO SIDE WITH
HIS BROTHER WHOM THE PARENTS ARE EFFECTIVELY SCAPEGOATING











Image credits: u/throwaway649q

OP explained that whenever the parents would take Jill shopping, he’d take Joe
skating with his friends; whenever the parents were at Jill’s kiddie pageant,
the older bro would drag his friends to watch his school musicals. “Small things
like that,” though considering everything, those aren’t small things, but rather
very meaningful things and we commend OP for being the best brother ever.

And now everyone’s older, and the twins are reaching their high-school
graduations. Jill, to no surprise, is going to university in San Francisco,
which is all being paid for by the parents, but Joe’s going to the same
university in Seattle that OP is going to. What is more, he got a full
scholarship, which, again, to no surprise, meant that the parents were going to
give him nothing.




WHILE THE PARENTS WERE BUSY PAMPERING THE TWIN SISTER, THE OLDER BROTHER WAS
ALWAYS BEING THERE FOR THE TWIN BROTHER











Image credits: u/throwaway649q

In response to this, OP started getting in touch with people he knew to see if
anyone was hiring next fall. The two were discussing all of this on FaceTime,
with OP reassuring his brother that he will make sure everything is just fine.
In fact, it was probably for the best as it would just mean he’s independent
from the parents and they won’t be attaching any strings if they help
financially.

And it seems the sister must have overheard them talking, as she also started
relentlessly bugging OP about helping her find a job. She too started asking him
to help her find a job because she didn’t want dad “nagging her” about it.




AND WHEN IT CAME TIME FOR COLLEGE, THE SISTER NOTICED JUST HOW SUPPORTIVE THE
OLDER BRO WAS OF THE YOUNGER BRO, BUT NOT OF HER



Image credits: Ben Dalton (not the actual photo)







Image credits: u/throwaway649q

The older brother did try to politely explain that he doesn’t know anyone in San
Fran and that she’d get more help from mom and dad, and she was unhappy, to say
the least. The sister started accusing him of favoring Joe over her, which he
did admit was true, but it wasn’t like she was even trying to be likable with
her “golden child” attitude. So, he asked the internet to explain to him who’s
wrong here.

And it seems the internet was on OP’s side as it ruled him to not be the a-hole
in this situation. For the most part, people were not only saying that he wasn’t
the bad guy, but also that he went above and beyond by being a very good big
brother, a role model who showed love and support more than most of us could say
about our siblings.




PEOPLE WEREN’T QUICK TO JUDGE OP, BUT THEY ALSO SAW HOPE IN THE SISTER—ALL SHE
NEEDED WAS THE SAME LOVE AND SUPPORT









There were those who, however, did say that Jill isn’t bad either—she is
redeemable, and showing a bit more kindness and explaining the whole situation
of how the parents playing favorites has led to how things are right now might
be a key turning point in how she develops further. It was the parents who were
to blame here.

It is important to note that there were some who related to this story all too
much, being scapegoat kids as well, and were grateful the big brother took
matters into his own hands.











The upvote button was slapped over 28,400 times for this post, and, to make
things even more wholesome, it also got over 150 Reddit awards. You can read the
post in context here, and you can also check out our other AITA articles here.

But before you go, tell us your thoughts on this situation in the comment
section below!

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Robertas Lisickis

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Robertas Lisickis
Author, BoredPanda staff

Robertas, nicknamed the Comma Inquisitor by friends, is a Bored Panda writer and
content creator. After his studies at LCC International University, where he got
a BA in English Language and Literature, Robertas went on to do freelance
teaching, translation, and copywriting work, primarily specializing in IT. He
spent nearly three years writing about all things Wi-Fi, eventually being picked
up by Bored Panda. Whenever there’s free time, he spends it playing Gwent, or
hosting Dungeons & Dragons sessions for his mostly chaotic neutral team.

Read more »

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Add your comment

POST


Powerful Katrinka
Powerful Katrinka
Community Member • points
posts
comments
upvotes
FollowUnfollow
3 days ago

I had a situation like this when I was growing up, but I was the "golden child"
while my little brother was the scapegoat/bad boy. My next older sister went out
of her way to hang out with him, despite a 10 year age difference. When we got a
little older, she took him on road trips and helped him find part time jobs. I
was hurt and resentful at first, but I quickly figured out that she was just
levelling the playing field. I'm still grateful that she stepped in that way.


71
71points

reply
Jay Hegener
Jay Hegener
Community Member • points
posts
comments
upvotes
FollowUnfollow
2 days ago

That's how a sane, compassionate person would see it. I'm glad that you
understood the dynamic and what your sister was doing.


19
19points

reply
Ozacoter
Ozacoter
Community Member • points
posts
comments
upvotes
3 days ago

I agree in that Jill might really grow up once she is away from the parents. My
sistwr was very arogant and entitled as a kid but once she started working she
made a complete change and now she is awesome. I hope that Jill wales up.


38
38points

reply
Mr. Jones
Mr. Jones
Community Member • points
posts
comments
upvotes
FollowUnfollow
2 days ago

I was Joe growing up. Nothing I did was ever good enough, but two brothers were
the golden kids. I had a ton of aunts and uncles and a few recognized how
differently my parents treated me so whenever they were in town they'd pay
special attention to me. My parents put my brother through junior college
because otherwise he wouldn't have gone. I got a full ride scholarship so the
second theater conservatory in the country and they called me foolish for
getting a useless degree. When I was in combat in the Army, they barely
acknowledged I was there and never once asked me about it when I got home. The
extra love from cousins and aunts saved me as a kid. When I came out as gay,
they pretty much washed their hands of me.


33
33points

reply
Terry Butler
Terry Butler
Community Member • points
posts
comments
upvotes
FollowUnfollow
2 days ago

"The extra love saved me as a kid." Being ghosted by your parents is deadly. OP
probably saved Joe's life.


20
20points

reply
Load More Replies...
T Lee Mac
T Lee Mac
Community Member • points
posts
comments
upvotes
FollowUnfollow
2 days ago

They weren’t worthy of the wonderful, creative child you are. Make your own
family with those that love and support you for who you are. You can do it. I
have faith in you. My oldest came out to me as gay at 15. I told him I didn’t
care who he loves as long as they love each other and treat each other well. I
hope the same for you.


6
6points

reply
Amber Hemerick
Amber Hemerick
Community Member • points
posts
comments
upvotes
FollowUnfollow
2 days ago

Sounds like your parents really missed out on a fantastic person in their life.
I'm so glad you had other family that kept you going!


2
2points

reply

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POST


Powerful Katrinka
Powerful Katrinka
Community Member • points
posts
comments
upvotes
FollowUnfollow
3 days ago

I had a situation like this when I was growing up, but I was the "golden child"
while my little brother was the scapegoat/bad boy. My next older sister went out
of her way to hang out with him, despite a 10 year age difference. When we got a
little older, she took him on road trips and helped him find part time jobs. I
was hurt and resentful at first, but I quickly figured out that she was just
levelling the playing field. I'm still grateful that she stepped in that way.


71
71points

reply
Jay Hegener
Jay Hegener
Community Member • points
posts
comments
upvotes
FollowUnfollow
2 days ago

That's how a sane, compassionate person would see it. I'm glad that you
understood the dynamic and what your sister was doing.


19
19points

reply
Ozacoter
Ozacoter
Community Member • points
posts
comments
upvotes
3 days ago

I agree in that Jill might really grow up once she is away from the parents. My
sistwr was very arogant and entitled as a kid but once she started working she
made a complete change and now she is awesome. I hope that Jill wales up.


38
38points

reply
Mr. Jones
Mr. Jones
Community Member • points
posts
comments
upvotes
FollowUnfollow
2 days ago

I was Joe growing up. Nothing I did was ever good enough, but two brothers were
the golden kids. I had a ton of aunts and uncles and a few recognized how
differently my parents treated me so whenever they were in town they'd pay
special attention to me. My parents put my brother through junior college
because otherwise he wouldn't have gone. I got a full ride scholarship so the
second theater conservatory in the country and they called me foolish for
getting a useless degree. When I was in combat in the Army, they barely
acknowledged I was there and never once asked me about it when I got home. The
extra love from cousins and aunts saved me as a kid. When I came out as gay,
they pretty much washed their hands of me.


33
33points

reply
Terry Butler
Terry Butler
Community Member • points
posts
comments
upvotes
FollowUnfollow
2 days ago

"The extra love saved me as a kid." Being ghosted by your parents is deadly. OP
probably saved Joe's life.


20
20points

reply
Load More Replies...
T Lee Mac
T Lee Mac
Community Member • points
posts
comments
upvotes
FollowUnfollow
2 days ago

They weren’t worthy of the wonderful, creative child you are. Make your own
family with those that love and support you for who you are. You can do it. I
have faith in you. My oldest came out to me as gay at 15. I told him I didn’t
care who he loves as long as they love each other and treat each other well. I
hope the same for you.


6
6points

reply
Amber Hemerick
Amber Hemerick
Community Member • points
posts
comments
upvotes
FollowUnfollow
2 days ago

Sounds like your parents really missed out on a fantastic person in their life.
I'm so glad you had other family that kept you going!


2
2points

reply

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