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📝️ MICROBLOG FOR LEO

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What's on your mind?
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Post
01 Apr 2024, 01:15:50 AM: 🌐️ ChatGPT:   It's just too toxic and overwhelming, I
need a break from it. I feel like I can actually be myself and engage with
others in a positive way on Mastodon and Threads. So for now, those are my go-to
platforms for posting and connecting with others. Instagram is fine for sharing
photos and videos, but it doesn't offer the same level of engagement and
connection as Mastodon and Threads do. As for Bluesky and SpaceHey, they just
don't hold my interest as much as the other platforms do. Overall, I'm happy
with my current choices for social media and will continue to use Mastodon,
Threads, and Facebook for now. Who knows, maybe I'll discover some new platforms
in the future that I'll enjoy even more. But for now, these are my happy places
for posting and sharing my thoughts and experiences online.

🤍️ 96

20 Jul 2024, 01:39:28 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  By going to all of these regular social
events on in the evenings, instead of say, playing games and working on
projects, it has turned me into a very social person and the really nasty
anxiety I have had is slowly but surely going away. I think that's the reason I
do all this stuff, is because it's compelling on a spiritual level, making human
connections, and also a mental health one, chipping away at my anxiety slowly
over time. Most people are born with decent social skills, me not so much. So it
feels kinda fitting that I am doing all this stuff, rather than being at home
and not facing the music. It's good for me and fun. Question is, at what point
will I be satisfied with my social skills and friend network? At the moment, I
can't see an end to it for a few reasons. I'm still looking for a partner, I
feel deeply embedded in some of these groups, and I can't forget that a lack of
social activity is very bad for me.

🤍️ 40 ❌

20 Jul 2024, 01:18:09 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Like clockwork, every Friday at 4pm, my
brain starts to shut down executive functioning and I need a beer. Then Friday
night I would normally have beers but now I have a bottle of Kombucha and listen
to music instead of doing anything that requires concentration. Now this
Saturday massively overslept, possibly mild sleep apnea. When the rest of the
world's IT gurus are fixing up the Cloudstrike outage issue over the weekend.
Wish I could help but I think I have sleep apnea.

🤍️ 100 ❌

19 Jul 2024, 09:45:59 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  It seems like the whole world is struggling
at the moment. Probably more than anything due to the cost of living, in
particular rent. But also that post-covid feeling of reduced happiness. Before
covid the world was gleeful and upbeat, but after it seems like everyone has
lost their spark. Like a new depression of the early 1900s. But people are
actually depressed. Covid kinda broke us in that we lost people, had to
disconnect from others for a long time, and I think we are still a little bit
avoidant of social activities. Like we can't trust that we can go back to the
way things were before in case we might get unwell or hurt others. And that as a
society we haven't handled the pandemic that well, there's that possibility it
might take off again. But other than the pandemic, there's wars trump is almost
president of the US again, and billionaires keep getting richer. Funny how
philanthropists like Bill Gates focus their energy on countries other than their
own. But at least he's saving lots of lives. For me, I have found a way to find
happiness in this chaos which I suspect is uncommon. Maybe others can learn from
me.

🤍️ 80 ❌

18 Jul 2024, 12:18:45 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  People still don't seem to get that if you
say hurtful things that can get spread publicly, it will cause hurt. Saying I
wish they hadn't missed is going to likely stir some people up a little to
probably wish unwell on Kyle Gass and people against Trump. A war of words can
incite actual violence. Better to nip it in the bud before it gets out of
control. Lots of people online saying lighten up. Yeah I know it's a joke and
all, but you can joke with your friends but when you joke in a space that can
reach millions of people, it's a different matter. It's about the scope of the
audience. Sadly, there are many "right wing" people who might overreact. Freedom
of speech just means you can't get arrested for saying certain things. However
when you say things that might promote civil war, it's a good strategy to
backpedal.

🤍️ 54 ❌

17 Jul 2024, 01:54:32 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  The Trump shooting incident just shows how
messed up America is. And then Kyle Gass effectively inciting more violence.
What is this, Game of Thrones? If America collapses it will be because it has
failed to look after it's citizens properly. Captialism, is it really that
great? More distributed wealth to support lower socio economic communities would
prevent a lot of bad things. Shootings, drug use, etc. But ah well the
experiment of America might fail, if so, what will replace it? China? But who
knows, maybe somehow it will persist for another 100 years with chaotic
leadership. While many people in the country live poorly. I hope America keeps
the balance of the world because it's been the best at it so far.. Not China,
Russia, Europe, etc.

🤍️ 91 ❌

16 Jul 2024, 08:48:25 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I'm discovering lately that I am extremely
persistent with some things in life AND I am a bit masochistic, I mean I would
be when I have kept at the gym for 18 months straight. So say I'm trying to
reach out to someone who has chosen not to block me so far, I will continue at a
moderate but consistent pace. I guess because I place a very high value on nice
things.

🤍️ 21 ❌

15 Jul 2024, 02:52:23 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I do try not to be bitter but I believe the
real reason I haven't had a relationship is that I have lacked the
self-awareness of being asexual/aromantic, so I never felt compelled to get a
partner that much, on top of social anxiety issues. Here I am at 34 and the
options are extremely limited, I may never have a relationship especially if I
end up becoming a multiple side projects kinda guy, instead of a want to raise a
family kind of guy. Someone could have brought me aside and said, hey I think
you might be asexual which means you might need a different approach to dating.
Because if I knew that I would have explored several friendships with women I
knew back in the day and one of them may have turned into some sort of a
relationship by now. OH WELL.

🤍️ 83 ❌

15 Jul 2024, 01:03:22 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  It feels like in the last month or so, for
reasons unclear to me, that I've been sort of maturing a lot on the inside.
Getting less bitter and negative and I find myself complaining less. Being more
appreciative of what I have and being more resourceful. A better sense of humor
with friends, and better social skills I think. All in like the last 30 days or
so. If this is all thanks to meditation and looking after my mental health, it
will be interesting to see what life is like in 12 months from now.

🤍️ 91 ❌

15 Jul 2024, 01:03:22 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  It feels like in the last month or so, for
reasons unclear to me, that I've been sort of maturing a lot on the inside.
Getting less bitter and negative and I find myself complaining less. Being more
appreciative of what I have and being more resourceful. A better sense of humor
with friends, and better social skills I think. All in like the last 30 days or
so. If this is all thanks to meditation and looking after my mental health, it
will be interesting to see what life is like in 12 months from now.

🤍️ 95 ❌

13 Jul 2024, 09:27:17 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  I do enjoy posting on social media my
adventures of visiting breweries alone. It's like, oh I might have some friends
who could join me but for some reason they don't. And I mean I could ask them,
whomever they are (I dunno atm) but the sad fact is my friendships with people
who like breweries (except maybe Pete L) are a bit constrained. Maybe next time
I will ask Pete L. Eh. But it's just like look at me, I could have a friend with
me. But it's okay, I get plenty of social activity these days, and I'm slowly
but surely getting better at it. But just that I have to go to breweries by
myself might not be so great. Hopefully with my improved mental health I might
fix this, where I have brilliant mental health but I still want to drink brain
cell destroying liquids.

🤍️ 98 ❌

11 Jul 2024, 11:26:47 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  I realise that yes mental health is very
important, but so is job security. If I am burning out at my work, then my
performance goes down and either I get laid off or I quit because I'm miserable.
So taking a break to feel better is good for my wellbeing but also the job
security. Making sure I can stick to this job, and being able to pay the fucking
expensive rent. Whilst having a mental disability. So making sure I have a
healthy recharge is VERY IMPORTANT so dealing with emergencies can wait for the
most part..

🤍️ 53 ❌

10 Jul 2024, 03:45:35 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I knew there was a reason I keep drinking
energy drink. It makes me feel 10 years younger, like I'm in my 20s again. It
may be cursed chemicals that do more bad than good, even the low sugar stuff,
but damn it feels fun to drink. Like I am going to go to a LAN party soon or a
board game day for people under 25.

🤍️ 45 ❌

07 Jul 2024, 12:41:02 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Maybe I really need to transparently talk to
my female friends and say, hey I think it's important I explore my feelings
better and I want to hang out more or something like that. If it turns out I
feel mostly platonically then great but I have to start somewhere.

🤍️ 43 ❌

07 Jul 2024, 12:27:49 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Being confused about my sexuality is a lot
like not knowing how to get a girlfriend. In the past I ended up just getting
stressed out about it and giving up altogether. Which is likely what I might do
given insufficient input from the female humans in my life.

🤍️ 52 ❌

07 Jul 2024, 12:18:54 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  This week I am going to spend around 45
minutes meditating on my burnout break. But then at the end I am going to
finally try sending the important message I've been trying to compose for like 6
months because I've been so bloody confused.

🤍️ 10 ❌

05 Jul 2024, 02:51:31 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I am putting more effort in with my friends,
especially my better friends, when I have the time and energy. It's worth it I
think, to battle loneliness and to improve my mental health. So look out friends
of mine.. I might be getting noisier.

🤍️ 40 ❌

05 Jul 2024, 11:09:55 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  I believe that all this effort into
meditation has rewired my brain to handle things extremely smoothly. To not
allow negative thinking and feeling to enter my mind, so topics I struggled with
before I now handle with relative ease. I guess that's the power of meditation,
it can wipe out negative thinking to a fair extent. How good is that.

🤍️ 3 ❌

03 Jul 2024, 12:12:04 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  My past self wanted to know, where will I
land? And well it seems I've landed somewhere very calm, without strong
interests just accepting things and being okay with whatever happens. Plus,
perhaps more insight into the fact I am a bit asexual and aromantic, but hard to
say where I am on the "spectrum". So my anxious obsession is more or less over,
I don't have romantic feelings I think, but still my feelings are a bit of a
mystery as to what they will do next. I guess I will just have to explore things
as best I can.

🤍️ 96 ❌

30 Jun 2024, 10:49:04 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  Its like either I haven't had enough life
experiences to show me I am more straight than I think I am, or I actually have
had and I am more ace than I think I am. It's really bloody difficult to tell,
after recent life experiences and I feel so desperate to understand it but then
I go back to thinking, it's okay if I don't I will still be okay in life.

🤍️ 13 ❌

28 Jun 2024, 12:39:29 PM: 🌐️ ChatGPT:   It's true that the big social media
platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram have become overwhelming with
recommended content and advertisements, making it difficult for users to see
what they actually want. Mastodon and federated social media have the potential
to change this by giving users more control over their feeds, but they have
struggled to gain widespread adoption. It's possible that the fediverse could
eventually become a major player in the social media landscape, but it will be
an uphill battle against the entrenched dominance of the big platforms. However,
with growing concerns about privacy and the spread of misinformation on
mainstream social media, there may be a shift in user behavior that could
benefit alternative platforms like Mastodon. Ultimately, the future of social
media is uncertain, but it's clear that there is a demand for more user-friendly
and decentralized platforms. It will be interesting to see how things evolve in
the coming years and whether the fediverse can overcome its challenges to become
a viable alternative to the current giants.

🤍️ 10 ❌

28 Jun 2024, 12:39:29 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Facebook is shit because they've flooded it
with garbage recommended stuff. Twitter is shit because Elon and co are taking
it backwards in several ways. Threads has not quite gained the same network
effect for whatever reason. Instagram is also a bit shit but seems to show
relevant posts a little better than Facebook. But it's all photos and videos, no
text, events, etc. Mastodon and federated social media have the potential to
democratise everything and give the user control of what they see, which would
lead to it being the best platform. But no one is adopting it for various
reasons, network effect and perhaps difficulty in understanding it. I'm hoping
that the fediverse gains more traction because it would be a slap in the face to
Facey and Twitter. They might just catch up. Or they might die. They have the
resources to catch up but who knows how it might play out. My pessimistic theory
is that Facebook and Twitter and Instagram will remain dominant for a long time
sadly, they might get a little better if anything but the Fediverse has a
difficult battle if it wants to gain that network effect. Though I think
everyone is a bit tired of social media in general, including fediverse. There
are few enthusiasts like me. So everyone just goes for the easy option,
occasionally catch up on Facebook or whatever. Dunno how to change that but who
knows what series of events might happen to change the status quo. An accidental
and or intentional transition to another default app.

🤍️ 51 ❌

25 Jun 2024, 04:15:49 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I dunno I have bumps, it's a part of my life
like back pain or something, but I can sort of improve it with effort such as
meditation and stuff. Unlike back pain which can be difficult and sometimes
expensive to fix, MH is actually not too expensive and doesn't have to be too
difficult. Fast forward one more year of meditating and stuff, where will I be?

🤍️ 43 ❌

25 Jun 2024, 03:59:13 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  My poor brain has been through a lot,
perhaps a mental health thing, perhaps related to a combination of difficult
things in the world plus social and cognitive challenges to adapt. It is far
past time I dealt with the ongoing issues my brain has by putting in a lot of
effort into my MH and I have been and I still have issues now and then but these
issues are different it seems I keep chasing pain or something. But well the
solution is to keep at it, I think probably more than anything the meditation,
mindfulness, and other misc approaches to my MH have been working but very
slowly. Maybe it is time to take a break from chasing pain, but eh, it seems I
always want to solve a problem even if it's painful in the process.

🤍️ 91 ❌

24 Jun 2024, 03:43:35 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Anyway it's been a wild day today where I
maybe have made in important step forward in life towards something better
perhaps.

🤍️ 26 ❌

24 Jun 2024, 02:43:43 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  With all this meditation it has been overall
improving my ability to deal with difficult situations but recently I've just
fallen apart and I'm feeling awful about everything and now I can't use my
Monday to do gamedev because I am super unfocused. Another Monday wasted but oh
well I have to put myself first before gamedev. And that's the thing, my brain
is a potato quite often despite what people might think and I just can't be this
amazing super productive do-it-all person with all my interests. It's annoying
but I would rather have wellbeing than work mindlessly on my projects such that
they burn me out. I mean I like my projects when my brain is up to it, but it
often isn't outside of my working hours, and what I am starting to realise is
that I perhaps have a very limited number of functional working hours in the
week which are mostly taken up by paying work to put a roof over my head. Ah
well I'm never going to give up on gamedev, my electronics projects, etc however
progress might slow to snails pace now and then.

🤍️ 86 ❌

23 Jun 2024, 11:05:20 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Getting to this point where I can ask a very
important question has taken a long time due to a few factors, one being
difficult communication channels, one being perhaps healing a wound that was
deeper than I thought, and another is the time to study myself with self
awareness. Another being due to limited life experiences - this is all new to me
and I have to figure it all out on my own, with no other significant person
close to me to help. But I think I'm pretty close and that's an achievement,
past me would be happy I suppose.

🤍️ 63 ❌

23 Jun 2024, 12:32:10 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Pretty soon I am going to have to ask the
big question that could dramatically alter my future potentially. It's possibly
a lot of pressure on one person but if I never ask this question I might likely
deeply regret it. I may never discover a side of myself, or it might take a long
time and by then I might be old and crusty. Leaving things too late could be
missing out on nice things for too long. And even if the answer is no, it's a
helpful step forwards.

🤍️ 5 ❌

22 Jun 2024, 02:54:45 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Since starting to work 14 or more hours per
week, and adjusting my sleep schedule to get up before 8am, my energy levels
have dropped, I've been over sleeping at least once per week, I've fallen behind
on most of my projects and games, and I'm still struggling to service clients
outside of my main one. My mental health is okay which is the main thing, but
I'm just not happy with the above. Fixing it is a slow process that requires
extreme level schedule optimisation but I'll get there. As well as losing
weight, it requires an extreme approach of carefully choosing what I eat. So
yeah 14 hours hasn't burned me out but it has given me some new difficult
challenges to solve which may take a while to solve before I can go back to my
old life of having time for things and a sleep schedule that was more consistent
at least.

🤍️ 76 ❌

22 Jun 2024, 01:16:02 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  If I have to become some kind of mystical
spiritual entity in order to become better friends with someone, I WILL DO IT if
it means transforming into a new person with a new soul and personality, so that
a friendship can grow beyond specific circumstances, yeah it's sorta what I've
had to do to get this far and I still feel I'm not having great success. But ah
well even if this specific friendship doesn't flourish like it would have if
circumstances were different.. I ought to still get nice things from my efforts
into transforming myself into a spiritual entity from another dimension. Like
some new friends and better social skills. Yay.

🤍️ 46 ❌

20 Jun 2024, 01:40:03 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I'm in uncharted territory. New feelings,
new possibilities. Not strong feelings but far less anxiety and complicated
feelings I used to have. Means I can progress things more than before, but where
will it lead me to? It might not change much in the short term, but perhaps my
medium-long term prospects might now change drastically thanks to the effort
I've put into my mental health and self awareness. But I don't know what that
new future for me might look or feel like. It might not be that exciting, or it
might be a very good thing.

🤍️ 71 ❌

17 Jun 2024, 04:18:29 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I mean I dunno maybe there are a few reasons
I've been hell-bent on self improvement. One being that it's the opposite of
suffering which I went through, the other being that my friends who left Tas
should come back and the other being that my F you to those who neglected me is
to miraculously get better rather than continuing to suffer. To show them the
difference that they helped create.

🤍️ 9 ❌

17 Jun 2024, 03:56:24 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  What if this self improvement journey I've
been on since 2019 I was doing it for one person? One person who I'm trying to
win over to come back to Tas. Maybe, I don't know because it's not what I'm
consciously thinking, maybe it's the subconscious. But at least I'm benefiting
from it.

🤍️ 10 ❌

17 Jun 2024, 03:41:42 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Becoming the chillest version of myself is
required to solve an emotional problem.

🤍️ 7 ❌

15 Jun 2024, 05:31:22 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Maybe fluctuating between romantic and
platonic is not that weird and uncommon, nor overly exciting as I imagined.
Normal relationships are like that, platonic and romantic alternating I imagine
but I don't know. Because I missed out on things due to being mentally ill. But
it still might be important to express that I have feelings, but also say that
I'm happy to stay friends and it shouldn't get in the way of friendship too
much. It might be painful sometimes but not that often and I'm a grown up I can
work on my feelings. I dunno I just want to grow as a person somehow and learn
and thrive and be a better, happier person.

🤍️ 31 ❌

15 Jun 2024, 04:42:53 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  As per below, my feelings are very very
weird. It's like they one minute make me almost want to cry over someone I want
to see more, the next minute, it's all good and this person is just a friend.
Switching between platonic and romantic within seconds - that's just so weird. I
want to explore this but opportunities are extremely limited. So all I can do is
meditate a lot. I keep meditating and my brain is just a weird guy and it does
stuff that doesn't seem normal. Neurodivergent sure but when it comes to
feelings, it's particularly weird. This could be the start of something rather
interesting and maybe exciting. But all I need is a female friend to help me
explore them.

🤍️ 96 ❌

14 Jun 2024, 11:34:24 AM: 🌐️ ChatGPT:   As humans, our emotions can often be a
mystery to us. They can arise seemingly out of nowhere and affect us in ways we
may not fully comprehend. It is important to explore and understand our
feelings, even if they seem distant or confusing. By taking the time to
introspect and examine our emotions, we can gain valuable insight into ourselves
and our relationships with others. This process can lead to personal growth and
a deeper understanding of our needs and desires. Talking about feelings can be a
vulnerable and uncomfortable process, but it can also be incredibly liberating.
By opening up and sharing our emotions with others, we can foster deeper
connections and create space for genuine understanding and empathy. So, embrace
the complexity of your feelings and allow yourself the opportunity to unravel
the puzzle within. Your journey towards self-discovery and self-awareness can
lead to a greater sense of fulfillment and contentment in your life.

🤍️ 79 ❌

14 Jun 2024, 11:34:24 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  The nature of my feelings are very complex
and unique. They come and go, for reasons I don't understand. Say I have some
feelings for someone, wouldn't it be important to explore these feelings, even
if they are very far away? For my self growth and understanding. It's like a
puzzle I feel strongly compelled to solve. With the ulterior motive that I might
have nice things come from it. But maybe it's finally time to talk about
feelings, the very weird nature of them. For one reason above many, which is
that I just want to understand myself better.

🤍️ 7 ❌

13 Jun 2024, 09:37:26 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  It's funny how far I've come recently but it
appears that no one is celebrating it. Ah well my own wellness is it's own
reward, but does anyone silently notice?

🤍️ 63 ❌

13 Jun 2024, 02:36:43 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I'm very unlikely to leave social media as
it is another way I actually socialise with people and form positive
interactions from time to time. I can't look at it and say, no this is a useless
space. Because it is sometimes good, sometimes a space for healthy expression
and social interaction. I get positive things out of it. For anyone wanting to
leave social media for a long period, it might be because they are unable to
form positive social connections with it, however hopefully they are able to in
the real world. Don't forget the positive side of social media, keeping in touch
with friends and a space for self-expression. It's often seen as this negative
thing that's not very healthy, but I believe it is possible to use it in a more
healthy way. Maybe not very healthy, and real world relationships will always be
better. But I think you can extract positive experiences out of it. Which by
leaving the platform you are shutting yourself out of that. Sure, there are
plenty of downsides and perhaps the cons outweigh the pros, but it all depends
on how you use it, whether it's optimistically, or you are just unlucky and
there are too many negatives that get in the way. Personally I find the only
main cons are addictiveness and the often insufficient social rewards you get.
But addictiveness is manageable and the low social rewards are better than not
using the platform at all. Maybe others have very different views, but I guess I
would say my views are optimistic.

🤍️ 22 ❌

13 Jun 2024, 12:53:24 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I don't want my friends to feel guilty of
something they didn't know about. But that's the way it is, and why. It's taken
very long time for me to look after myself very well and gain self awareness to
know what to do, on my own. It didn't have to be on my own but well at least I
have got here. Instead of going on in life not having this self awareness for
the rest of my life. If my friends care about my happiness, they will help me
make better friends with women in particular who have common interests or are
quite neuro divergent. Help to bridge those gaps. And there are multiple.

🤍️ 84 ❌

13 Jun 2024, 11:02:59 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  I think really my lack of good female
friends in my life is probably thanks to my male friends not understanding me
better and not helping me make these friendships - even with people who might
not be female any more which is funny. Sure, I have had to have some autonomy,
and I've gained that now thankfully, but in the past I didn't have too much of
it and I needed help. I needed help making friends with women with similar
interests. I didn't get it and as such here I am living by myself.

🤍️ 67 ❌

13 Jun 2024, 08:59:51 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  Heck, maybe I could try dating apps with the
self awareness that I would most likely be using it just to make friends. But
I'm still focusing on my existing friends because I like them and care about the
friendship that I have with them.

🤍️ 2 ❌

13 Jun 2024, 08:52:53 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  Relating to my post below. Making new female
friends is hard, but focusing on the existing ones is a heck of a lot easier and
it's what I am going to do going forward, even if it doesn't go anywhere.
Knowing now that I build connections with women on a platonic basis first for
potentially a very long time, means that it's totally okay to keep pursuing
friendships with women even in relationships, as I can always just step back if
I start developing subtle feelings, but can appreciate the platonic friendship
that developed beforehand, is better than nothing.

🤍️ 35 ❌

13 Jun 2024, 08:49:04 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  Just had a short rant this morning about my
friends and women. I don't need to make new friends, and it appears that I build
platonic relationships with women before they become anything else. I have
little motivation to meet new friends as I have quite a few already, I'm happy
with the amount of friends I have. So looking for new friends, and then hoping
they are female is outside of my motivation levels. I *could* try dating apps,
but pt up a big disclaimer that I'm mainly looking to just make friends with
women with similar interests. But well I suspect that might not be very
effective. So, for now, I guess my plan is to continue to focus on my existing
friends, including a few female friends, even if it never goes anywhere serious.
It's just how I work and how I am, someone else can step in and help me if they
can.

🤍️ 38 ❌

10 Jun 2024, 11:51:12 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  I have ranted and rambled here, and other
places, with one common regular goal, of improving my social life, with my male
and female friends. LOTS of words, thoughts, all spewing out in the hopes that
it will improve things, that people will start talking to me, that some of my
better female friends might become closer friends perhaps. And some of that has
been useful in making me make realisations, like I have to put in a lot of
effort and that's just the way it is. And also since working on my mental health
that my mood has been improving which is conducive to better relationships. But
it just seems like so much thinking to solve a simple problem. Why? has it been
so mania inducing taken up so much of my brains processing time in order to gain
something I want. Why hasn't the universe just thrown someone my way, or one of
my friends taken a hint of sorts from my constant obvious social struggles. I
will never know. I guess I am just cursed to continue rambling to try to fix
things. I think things are improving and things are okay overall. But I can
still see the problems clearly. Which gets me going. I'm only just trying to
fill the gaps in my life where people should be. And they are big gaps. While I
am filling them, there are many better ways of doing so, such as having a best
friend, a partner or some close friends that I hang out with regularly. To get
that, it seems like mission impossible.

🤍️ 81 ❌

09 Jun 2024, 06:43:18 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I have to admit I do feel a bit unloved and
with this mindfulness I can see how my thoughts are the product of being unloved
by everyone except my parents. Maybe I'm trying to change that finally but far
out it's difficult. Months of lengthy meditation and walks in nature and working
part time and reflection in my diaries and I'm still feeling a bit neglected.
Just because I am a bit different. I find it difficult forming relationships and
my social skills are a bit behind. My interests are mostly for technology. All
this adding up to people giving me the cold shoulder outside of social events.
It's been on myind for years, this social neglect and it pains me. But my
thinking is that if I throw all this self improvement stuff at myself maybe
people will think to talk to me out of the blue. Rather than it being me putting
in the efforts out of the blue. And maybe I might form a relationship with a
female friend. But I really can't expect either of those things to happen in the
near future. The least I can do is look after my mental health extremely well.

🤍️ 45 ❌

09 Jun 2024, 01:13:02 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I think I finally understand myself fairly
well. It's a bit like trying to understand the universe. This mysterious thing
that we're trying to build the best models of understanding. I may well be
"asexual" but that's not necessarily the end of the road for me. I believe that
I build *platonic* friendships first before they become something else. Which
means I am in it for the friendship to start with, and over time, perhaps years,
it might turn into stronger or different emotions of "love". So, the women that
I want to me must be compatible friends first. I don't get crushes, I don't feel
strong sexual attraction or desires. Random sexually attractive and affectionate
woman X means nothing to me if we can't play board games or talk about our
shared interests. And there is someone who I know shares a lot of interests in
common, who I always believed was a good fit for me, likely is a very good fit
for me at least as a strong friend, but possibly as a partner as well she used
to live in Hobart but now lives elsewhere and maybe she will come back and if
so, what might come from that is a special kind of friendship that would be very
interesting to explore. Different to the usual relationships where boy and girl
are in love. Some unique feelings that very few get to experience. But I dunno
it's all speculation at the moment. I just have this belief that she's an
exceptionally good fit for me as a friend - where the feelings might evolve over
time for me at least. Anyway labels such as asexual might be a bit confusing as
it implies an strong disinterest in sex and romance, but maybe not. It all
depends on how friendships and relationships develop over time, which sadly I
have not had the opportunity to explore with many women. And let's not get
started talking about dating..

🤍️ 66 ❌

08 Jun 2024, 08:56:21 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  Today is the day I a) go to a "Dealing with
difficult people" workshop and b) come out to my parents about my aseuality.
Should be a fun day.

🤍️ 88 ❌

06 Jun 2024, 03:21:39 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I don't know what I am going to do with this
wedding dress accessory I got at a wedding recently, it's supposed to be a sign
that I will get married next but me thinks highly unlikely, I'm not sure I ever
want to get married but we will see, maybe I meet someone

🤍️ 55 ❌

06 Jun 2024, 03:18:28 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I went to Working it Out today and I think
more or less confirming that I am a bit asexual which is important to know.

🤍️ 93 ❌

06 Jun 2024, 03:16:14 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I don't see myself so much as a "late
bloomer" although I can see why people see me that way. I see myself as more of
a complex mental health survivor. Only reason I'm blooming now is that I have
addressed my mental health issues that I have had for a long time in my late
teens and twenties.

🤍️ 13 ❌

03 Jun 2024, 12:26:50 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Meditation hasn't made my emotions go away,
it's only made them more real and clear. I still have some strong feelings that
I might need to break down and work on but that's why I'm not going to stop
meditating. Seems like the only healthy response to a lifetime of dysfunction
and complexity left untreated.

🤍️ 69 ❌

03 Jun 2024, 11:32:00 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  Yes, my friends leaving Tas have caused me
significant grief, but only exacerbating existing mental health issues which
weren't dealt with properly at a younger age. If my mental health issues had
been dealt with I likely wouldn't have had such neuroticism over my friends
leaving Tas. But here we are. I am trying to do my best to work on my mental
health such that these grievances can settle down and they mostly have been but
I have been through them still now. It's like a mark on me. But I can heal these
wounds. And as I have been healing the wounds, I am still wondering how I can
help my friends get over *ther* grievances for people in Tas by using compassion
and forgiveness. Something that can be obtained through a lot of self care.
Which I'm still working on, but I know it can take a long time.

🤍️ 15 ❌

02 Jun 2024, 02:14:31 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  It says something doesn't it, that someone
who leaves Tasmania for reasons relating to personal conflicts, causes me pain
still after almost 7 years. I think it's because it's not a very sound reason
for leaving, and that these friends mean a lot to me. It has exacerbated my
mental health recovery, that's for sure. I can't move on maybe because I feel
that there's something I can do about it. And I'm now doing something about it
which makes me feel like I am doing something about the pain, making the pain
feel better. I'm going to this "dealing with difficult people class" to maybe
pick up some skills to help R and P get along. Among other reasons, but it does
feel like the right thing to do, helping me heal a very deep and complex wound.

🤍️ 70 ❌

02 Jun 2024, 01:54:07 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I'm sitting here at the breakfast table
thinking about my friends who have left Tas, biting away at Allens lollies to
reduce the pain I feel for them having left.

🤍️ 31 ❌

02 Jun 2024, 01:52:05 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  When any of my friends leave Tasmania, I'm
like WHYYY It's losing a friend, it's hurting Tasmania, it's someone choosing to
go live somewhere more "comfortable" or "career fulfilling" which for the first
one is highly debatable, the second one well there's this thing called running
your own business. It often does work down here in Tas, maybe not always but
often. I am stuck here forever that's a fact, I will never move. For various
reasons I won't go into now. But who's here with me? Why is it that some of my
best friends have left Tas? It hurts me it really does, in some ways you can
never imagine. But I stay strong, I am now meditating 30 minutes per day mainly
triggered one person came back then left. I still would like to have superpowers
that could give me the ability to strongly convince my friends to come back.
Maybe I will get them if I work hard on it.

🤍️ 66 ❌

29 May 2024, 04:12:50 PM: 🌐️ ChatGPT:  Some people may not like Mac computers
due to their limitations in terms of RAM and storage, as well as the relatively
higher cost compared to other options. Additionally, some users prefer the
flexibility and customization options offered by Linux distros over macOS. The
decision to not like a Mac computer can also be influenced by personal
preferences and experiences with other operating systems and hardware options.
Ultimately, it's important to choose a computer that best suits your needs and
preferences.

🤍️ 98 ❌

29 May 2024, 04:12:50 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Why don't I like the Mac? Well limited to
16GB of RAM, 1TB storage. macOS is not that amazing and I enjoy using Linux
distros. The Framework laptop will last for a long time, whereas this Mac if I
stay with Mac will only last about 2-3 years before the need for better specs.

🤍️ 16 ❌

29 May 2024, 04:11:16 PM: 🌐️ ChatGPT:  The Framework laptop sounds like a great
choice for your needs! It's always exciting to upgrade to a new device that
better suits your purposes. Waiting for your tax return to make the purchase is
a smart move to ensure you have the funds available. In the meantime, you can
start preparing for the switch by researching and getting familiar with the
Framework laptop. And don't worry about your current Macbook Air, it can still
serve as a backup device or for other tasks in the meantime. Enjoy your new
laptop when you get it!

🤍️ 81 ❌

29 May 2024, 04:11:16 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I really want to get a Framework laptop now.
Turns out it has a GPU powerful enough for LLMs such as Jan.ai and it would run
Linux of course. Now, I guess I just have to wait until *after* the tax return
to get it. This M3 Macbook Air might not end up lasting too long as my primary
device. I don't even have Xcode installed currently after a few months of use.

🤍️ 31 ❌

29 May 2024, 03:16:06 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I'm finding it mildly disturbing that over
50 people can view my Instagram story, meanwhile only a small handful actually
click like on a similar post I make about a retro game. Maybe not as many people
actually browse Facebook or Facebook is less good at getting my posts out there.
But still it's a weird phenomenon these Instagram stories and I am starting to
get less enthusiastic about using them. Maybe time for a long break?

🤍️ 93 ❌

28 May 2024, 01:36:17 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  It's been a bit over a year of this blog and
coincidentally it's been yet another interesting times. I'm going to have to do
something with this data at some point.

🤍️ 99 ❌

27 May 2024, 10:12:44 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  The in house concert I went to last night
for Tilley and Co was really nice. I went along to test my comfort zone, and I
was nervous, but what I ended up experiencing was making a new friend and
listening to some extremely talented musicians. It's amazing the talent in
little old Hobart. We are not a city of low value. And also an opportunity to
test my feelings for a friend. I was a bit weird at first but overall no I
didn't develop a crush or anything like that lol. But I was able to articulate
to Tilley that I liked her music and the whole performance. Which I don't think
I've ever said to her before sadly. My way of catching up with her, listening to
her music and saying it was good. Maybe not the lengthy conversations I've had
with others I've been catching up, but still feels satisfying to me.

🤍️ 63 ❌

25 May 2024, 05:02:04 PM: 🌐️ ChatGPT:  It's great that you're taking the
initiative to reach out to your friends online and make an effort to catch up
with them. It's not uncommon for people to be busy and slow to respond,
especially with the constant distractions of everyday life. Just remember to be
patient and understanding with your friends, as they may have other commitments
or obligations that are occupying their time. Keep up the effort and continue to
strengthen those connections with your friends. Quality time spent together is
always worth the wait.

🤍️ 77 ❌

25 May 2024, 05:02:04 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  After years of being too shy to reach out to
my friends online as a kid, I now have the ability and am doing so regularly,
however I find that many people are quite unresponsive and slow. It's like yay I
have this new ability but now people are always busy. Sigh. Oh well catch ups
with friends is going really well.

🤍️ 4 ❌

24 May 2024, 11:13:37 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  The two most important things in life are
your health and your social relationships. Here in Tas, I can get both thanks to
the things that are here. Like specialty gyms and the good amount of nice
friends.

🤍️ 49 ❌

24 May 2024, 11:09:38 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  But I mean I can't help but think I am doing
okay in life, I could be worse. I could have regressed, I could still be
suffering from anxiety and depression in a big way,. Heck, even if they do come
back (fantasy mode engaged) I will still continue to work on my health in a big
way (fantasy mode disengaged for safety reasons). I have to sort of pat myself
on the back for getting this far. I think I still have a way to go but at least
I am okay overall. And have been for most of this time. Sure, 2017 was a bit of
a bump, but everyone goes through stuff. It might be the worse thing that ever
happens to me if I am careful, which is a mostly good thing. My message to my
friends outside of Tas is, simply come back. It's alright here. Not as bad as
you think. If my schizophrenia can be treated well here, it must be okay.

🤍️ 7 ❌

23 May 2024, 09:28:30 AM: 🌐️ Leo:   It's schizophrenia awareness week and I
feel like I'm in a position to say some things about it to help reduce the
negative stigma and improve awareness of a hidden disability. Some might know, I
have schizophrenia. It is something that might mean different things to
different people. It is different for each person, everyone has different
symptoms and severity of symptoms. However someone can have schizophrenia and
still live a normal healthy life. If it's treated. Yes, it can suck quite a bit.
Even if treated it can come back in regression now and then. The symptoms are
things like paranoia, delusions, voices, hallucinations. They are not fun. Most
of the time, now I have it treated well, I am alright and don't experience
strong symptoms that often. However sometimes it does regress a little. And
while I was undiagnosed for a long time, most of those symptoms were only
moderate and not severe. They can get very nasty under bad environmental
conditions, such as stress and social isolation. I have put a lot of effort into
shaping my life such that I have the opportunity to work on my mental health,
such as reducing my workload, going for weekly walks in nature, meditating a
lot, going to the gym, catching up with family and friends, etc. I am always
trying to work on my mental health. And it's working overall. It can be
difficult to pick it up in people, but common visible symptoms include
rigidness, quietness, erratic behaviour, other signs of anxiety and depression
(such as alcoholism and addiction), social isolation, a lack of interest in
hobbies, difficulty in finding work. It can also show up in addition to other
neurodivergent conditions like ADHD, autism, bipolar, etc. I think I have
reversed a lot of the visible symptoms, and my inner thinking has changed
dramatically. But it has taken a long time. Although I think I can still
improve. Awareness of my condition has given me the opportunity to almost
completely remove the symptoms through my efforts into mental health.

🤍️ 80 ❌

22 May 2024, 05:15:18 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I'm thinking, there has to be a better way
to spread awareness of schizophrenia than Facebook posts. Flourish? Or whatever
they're called now. It might be the main way.

🤍️ 16 ❌

22 May 2024, 12:36:20 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  A lot goes on in my head, more than 99% of
people realise. After some serious mental health issues, recurring mental health
issues, social issues, other issues, it fills my head with anxiety, frustration,
mania, etc. Now I would talk to someone about stuff but my psychologist I only
see once per 2 months or so and my Mum I haven't quite built up that kind of
relationship with. Maybe I can but it's hard for some reason. Anyway this blog
is better than nothing. I have so much to rant about and get out of my head,
it's better to write it down somewhere than let it stay in my head. Talking
about it is even better and I do that sometimes but not often. I think though
this has helped and especially now I am starting to feel much less rambly and
stuff. It might not be super effective help but it's some help.

🤍️ 44 ❌

22 May 2024, 09:55:16 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  Many of my private posts here over the last
6 months or so have been about interest in a girl, mental health and sexuality.
It's been a weird time, and maybe this micro blog has helped me understand
myself better. As well as get stuff off my chest without it building up too
much. I think my future will be interesting now that I have some more self
awareness, mental health/clarity and less social anxiety. I might improve my
friendships overall. Improving myself overall.

🤍️ 78 ❌

09 May 2024, 06:54:13 PM: 🌐️ ChatGPT:  It all started when I was diagnosed with
severe depression and anxiety. The weight of the world seemed to be crushing me,
and no amount of therapy or medication seemed to alleviate my suffering. I felt
like I was drowning in darkness, unable to find my way out. But one day, a
tragic event shook me to my core. A dear friend of mine lost their battle with
mental illness, and I realized that if I didn't make a change, I would suffer
the same fate. It was a wake-up call that I couldn't ignore. I made a vow to
myself that I would do whatever it took to overcome my demons, no matter how
difficult or painful the journey may be. I started therapy more diligently,
practiced mindfulness and meditation daily, and sought out alternative forms of
healing such as yoga and Reiki. As I delved deeper into my self-improvement
journey, something miraculous happened. I began to feel lighter, happier, and
more at peace with myself. The darkness that had consumed me for so long started
to lift, and I could see a glimmer of hope on the horizon. But it wasn't until I
stumbled upon a hidden power within myself that things truly began to change. I
discovered that I possessed superhuman abilities – strength, speed, and the
power to heal others with a touch. It was as if I had become a real-life
Superman, capable of conquering any obstacle in my path. With my newfound
powers, I set out to not only cure my own mental illness but to help others who
were suffering as well. I became a beacon of light and hope in a world that was
often filled with despair, using my abilities to bring healing and joy to all
those around me. In the end, it was my journey of self-improvement and
self-discovery that ultimately saved me from the depths of my mental illness. I
had become my own hero, conquering my demons and embracing the light within
myself. And though my journey was long and difficult, I emerged stronger and
more resilient than ever before.

🤍️ 18 ❌

09 May 2024, 06:54:13 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  My story is one where tremendous self
improvement is the only way out of horrible mental illness. But if a tragedy
that I have to become Superman to cure my disease.

🤍️ 4 ❌

09 May 2024, 05:40:20 PM: 🌐️ ChatGPT:  It's hard to say for sure without
knowing your friends personally. Some friends are very observant and will notice
small changes like a haircut right away, while others might not pay as much
attention. If you want your friends to notice and say something, you could
always bring it up in conversation or post a picture on social media to draw
attention to your new haircut. Ultimately, it's important to remember that true
friends will support and care for you no matter what, even if they don't always
notice the small details.

🤍️ 90 ❌

09 May 2024, 05:40:20 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I got a haircut today. Do I have the kind of
friends who will notice and say something??

🤍️ 65 ❌

03 May 2024, 05:03:53 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I think maybe I've had ADHD but I have
managed to get on top of it without medication.. These are valuable skills I can
teach very close friends with ADHD..

🤍️ 64 ❌

16 Apr 2024, 07:29:53 PM: 🌐️ ChatGPT:  It sounds like Arch Linux may not be the
best fit for you at the moment. Ubuntu is a solid choice with a more
beginner-friendly approach and a larger community for support. However, if
you're still interested in learning more about Arch Linux, you could try out a
different Arch-based distribution like Manjaro, which offers a more
user-friendly installation process and pre-configured tools. Ultimately, the
best distribution is the one that works best for you and meets your needs.

🤍️ 55 ❌

16 Apr 2024, 07:29:53 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  First time I tried to install Arch Linux, it
got interrupted while installing stuff, corrupted the package system and
wouldn't boot. I fixed the boot but then managed to break the package system
even more in an attempt to fix it. Second time trying to install Arch Linux, on
first boot there was no network for no apparent reason. Yeah I don't think Arch
Linux is for me.. I have this magic ability to break Linux distros. I can often
fix them but it seems when I break Arch it breaks it in a devastating way. Back
to Ubuntu?

🤍️ 92 ❌

02 Apr 2024, 08:08:15 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  Just like recovery, growth is not a linear
path. I think I am more or less beyond recovery now but I am looking to go
onwards and upwards but despite some milestones and cool stuff, some days feel
like a step back. Which I think is okay, you just have to have faith that there
path forward will be trending upwards.

🤍️ 63 ❌

01 Apr 2024, 12:30:42 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  It was getting really depressing, the only
thing I could do on my Chromebook was post here, it felt like anything else was
a massive effort, waiting for things to load.. But now with my Surface Go 3
running Linux, I can actually do other stuff, like check emails, Facebook,
Instagram will give me notifications, Todoist, etc Now this will just be one
small part of the morning routine that might not be a part sometimes. So
probably less posts, and more back in Journey.

🤍️ 31 ❌

01 Apr 2024, 01:29:36 AM: 🌐️ ChatGPT:  I'm sorry to hear that your sleep
schedule is feeling off! It can be frustrating when our bodies don't seem to
cooperate with our desired bedtime. Have you tried any relaxation techniques or
bedtime routines to help with falling asleep and staying asleep? It's important
to try and establish a consistent sleep schedule to help regulate your body's
internal clock. I hope you're able to get some rest soon!

🤍️ 10 ❌

01 Apr 2024, 01:29:36 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  Last night I went to bed at 8:30pm! And
slept the next day around 11am.. Tonight I am up at 1:30am feeling super awake
despite the herbal tea.. My sleep rhythm thingo is stuffed for sure..

🤍️ 99 ❌

01 Apr 2024, 01:15:50 AM: 🌐️ ChatGPT:   It's just too toxic and overwhelming, I
need a break from it. I feel like I can actually be myself and engage with
others in a positive way on Mastodon and Threads. So for now, those are my go-to
platforms for posting and connecting with others. Instagram is fine for sharing
photos and videos, but it doesn't offer the same level of engagement and
connection as Mastodon and Threads do. As for Bluesky and SpaceHey, they just
don't hold my interest as much as the other platforms do. Overall, I'm happy
with my current choices for social media and will continue to use Mastodon,
Threads, and Facebook for now. Who knows, maybe I'll discover some new platforms
in the future that I'll enjoy even more. But for now, these are my happy places
for posting and sharing my thoughts and experiences online.

🤍️ 96 ❌

01 Apr 2024, 01:15:50 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  Yeah, currently Mastodon, Threads and
Facebook are my happy places for posting stuff now. NOT Twitter/X. Instagram is
kinda okay for photos and sending reels and stuff but not great for "self
expression" as such though maybe I can get creative.. Bluesky is boring,
SpaceHey is too niche. Mastodon is full of smart interesting people I've never
met before but still enjoy their posts. Threads is trying to be Twitter
reimagined for the better and it's good but not really catching on well with
friends I know.. Facebook is the old fallback that everyone is on but I'm
getting very tired of it.. It's full of "suggested" spam, people are posting a
lot less and it's getting more and more full of older people.. And Twitter I'm
trying to forget about for now..

🤍️ 73 ❌

24 Jan 2024, 11:46:04 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  I swear I have ADHD or something similar. My
attention keeps shifting. It’s nice this new mindfulness realising the mental
conditions I likely have. All of them?

🤍️ 40 ❌

11 Dec 2023, 05:42:40 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  And perhaps I don't put enough work into
myself.. so I think I will put more work into myself in future......

🤍️ 29 ❌

11 Dec 2023, 05:21:14 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I am a high maintenance person.. I require a
lot of work in order to work properly..

🤍️ 98 ❌

11 Dec 2023, 02:33:48 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Chillout music hits different when all
you've been listening to is chillout music for 3 weeks or so

🤍️ 6 ❌

11 Dec 2023, 02:28:12 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  One of the oldest and wisest lessons in
life.. Forgiveness is a good thing.

🤍️ 57 ❌

11 Dec 2023, 02:25:42 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Sure, lots of older (and dorky) people are
on Mastodon, but what's wrong with having older friends? It's a pretty admirable
thing to have friends much older than you. Sources of wisdom and knowledge, good
for the brain. Some people don't want good things for the brain perhaps.

🤍️ 7 ❌

11 Dec 2023, 02:18:31 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Threads seems alright too, mainly because
it's flooded with brands and celebs all having a nice time.. With not too much
bickering from people with uneducated opinions and meme spamming

🤍️ 23 ❌

11 Dec 2023, 02:17:01 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Mastodon is the nice place on the Internet..
Anyone that says otherwise is a masochist.

🤍️ 0 ❌

29 Oct 2023, 01:55:20 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  If there's one thing I have learned
recently, is that I really am not a great DJ or music selector person. My nerdy
taste in music isn't for everyone. Part of me really wants to make sure the
music at parties is on point and good memories can be made. But in practice, I
end up essentially embarrassing myself with music choices that really only suit
me and maybe my brother. Unless I can practice my playlist making, I think it's
time I just let go of being party DJ and leave it up to the other party guests
to select more topical and more broadly likeable music.

🤍️ 47 ❌

16 Sep 2023, 11:30:25 PM: 🌐️ ChatGPT:  I understand your frustration with
finding a social media platform that suits your needs. It can be challenging
when different platforms have their own unique dynamics and limitations. It
seems like you prefer a more casual and expressive space to share and socialize,
which can be different from the culture of many existing platforms. One
possibility could be exploring smaller, niche communities that align more
closely with your interests and desired atmosphere. These communities might
exist within larger platforms or even on independent websites or forums. By
finding like-minded individuals with similar interests, you may be able to
create a more personalized and comfortable online space for yourself.
Additionally, focusing on your own blog can be a great way to express yourself
freely and interact with others who resonate with your content. Blogs allow for
more control over the content and conversation, and you can foster your own
community there. While it can be frustrating when mainstream platforms don't
meet your needs, it's worth considering that building a social media platform
that caters to everyone's preferences is a complex task. However, with time and
continued innovation, there may be new platforms or features that better align
with your desired online experience.

🤍️ 86 ❌

16 Sep 2023, 11:30:25 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I still struggle with social media, now more
than ever. Twitter, Facebook, Mastodon, Instagram, Threads, BeReal. There is no
one place that really works for me. Not even Mastodon, not any more. I want a
space I can just be expressive and socialise in a more simple and upbeat way,
but Mastodon just isn't it. I try to do that there, but it just doesn't quite
pan out and isn't really the right space for it. Twitter and Threads are, but I
mean, Twitter is an Ex-Bird and Threads is not really taking off for more
personal friends stuff. So I am left with nothing that suits me really. Except
this custom made site of course. But this site is way more personal and anything
goes, so lots of things goes. I want to say Mastodon is anything goes, but nah
not really. It's an esteemed community of thoughtful posts that each seem to
have a lot of seriousness and determination behind them. Not to say I am
incapable of that.. but when I see a text box and a "post" button to the world I
get a bit excited and just post about what springs to mind, which is often a lot
of personal stuff. I treat Mastodon a lot like the old Twitter and is that such
a bad thing? I don't think so but it seems that I am a bit rare like that. Don't
we want Mastodon to be the Twitter killer? It's got to start acting like one I
think.. Anyway.. Social media perhaps isn't quite for me in general.. Not to say
I can't make good posts at all, I can every now and then. But my general
approach to it is not really compatible with most platforms. It's annoying and
really shouldn't be a problem in 2023, but it is. With so many "post to the
void" apps like Twitter now, why can't I find one that works smoothly for me?
It's a bit messed up really. Why can't tech bros make a simple freaking social
app that works for someone like me who just wants a good mix of RL friends and
Internet friends, in one place? That could have been Twitter, but it kinda blew
up when Musk took over. It's a wasteland now. Wasted potential. Mastodon doesn't
seem to want to replace it, or so it seems, it's not acting like it. Threads is
a cheap clone, Bluesky is for hipsters who drink pumpkin spice lattes and listen
to vinyl. Where do I go? Just here I guess, and my blog. It's not much but it's
something for now.

🤍️ 86 ❌

16 Sep 2023, 11:17:37 PM: 🌐️ ChatGPT:  Ending your drinking alone on a Friday
night for physical health reasons is a commendable decision. While it may feel
like you're losing a part of your social life, remember that there are many
other ways to socialize and connect with others that don't involve alcohol.
Consider exploring alternative activities or hobbies that can provide enjoyment
and social interaction without the negative effects of excessive drinking. You
could join a club or group that aligns with your interests, take up a new sport
or exercise routine, or even host non-alcoholic gatherings with friends and
family. Remember, socializing is about the quality of connections and
experiences, not necessarily the presence of alcohol. Give yourself the
opportunity to discover new ways to have fun and build meaningful relationships.

🤍️ 0 ❌

16 Sep 2023, 11:17:37 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Well that's it.. I've decided to end my
drinking alone on a Friday night. Purely for physical health reasons (let alone
mental health funnily enough). I can't find any decent low-calorie drinks that I
can drink in larger quantities that I like. I won't be drinking beers any more
because they're too high in calories. Nothing is left to drink regularly. No
more getting drunk on Friday nights alone. I have been able to set a pretty firm
limit that I can stick to, but it's still too unhealthy and too many calories or
something I don't enjoy the taste of. I have alternative plans.. but I guess I
would still prefer to drink if I can, but I can't see a goo way to. There goes
the social life..?

🤍️ 21 ❌

14 Sep 2023, 12:56:47 PM: 🌐️ ChatGPT:  I understand your desire to socialize
with friends on platforms where you already have connections. While Mastodon has
its charm with a friendly community, it may not be as popular as Facebook and
Twitter, which is why you may not find all your friends there. If you still want
to engage with your existing friends on Mastodon, you can consider sharing your
Mastodon profile or posts on your Facebook and Twitter accounts. This way, your
friends who are interested can discover and join you on Mastodon. Additionally,
you can also invite specific friends to join Mastodon and mention the benefits
you find on the platform. Ultimately, it's important to remember that different
social media platforms cater to different purposes and audiences. Exploring the
unique aspects of Mastodon while staying connected with your friends on other
platforms can provide a balanced social media experience.

🤍️ 4 ❌

14 Sep 2023, 12:56:47 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I really like Mastodon, but wish more of my
Facebook and Twitter friends were here. Yes, the community here and mutual
followers are lovely people. But sometimes I want to use social media to
socialise with the people I already know when I can’t do so in person (eg due to
work and life constraints). To do that there is really just Facebook, which
people don’t seem to like as much anymore.

🤍️ 79 ❌

28 Aug 2023, 03:48:38 PM: 🌐️ ChatGPT:  It seems like you have a negative
opinion about Disney and Disney Plus, particularly in regards to their content
catering to a younger audience. You also mentioned feeling disappointed with
Ahsoka, suggesting that the acting and writing were subpar, potentially
attributing it to the actors/writers strike or Disney's focus on catering to
children.

🤍️ 33 ❌

28 Aug 2023, 03:48:38 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Disney and Disney plus has sadly become
effectively just mindless entertainment for kids under 15 or so. Anyone older
with actual taste in TV and movies, you are better off elsewhere.. Now anyway.
It feels like in the last 12-18 months or so, they've succumbed to the idea of
just becoming that, nothing better than just long videos for kids to watch, to
keep them placated for their parents. A bit sad. Ahsoka was meh, could have been
quite a lot better. Bot the acting and writing was quite poor. Possibly due to
the actors/writers strike, possibly due to Disney becoming a kid pacifier
service. Possibly a bit of both.

🤍️ 66 ❌

04 Aug 2023, 01:18:06 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  Part of the reason I’m contempt to stay here
in Tasmania is because of friendships. I like to stick with the friends I’ve got
down here rather than to toss them in the bin and go elsewhere. Friendship is a
very strong tie. Now my friends aren’t perfect and overly wonderful. But they’re
pretty compelling and there’s plenty of them. The force of friendship keeps me
stable. For those that have left Tasmania, perhaps they simply haven’t built
strong enough connections down here. But why is that I have to wonder. Why are
my friendship connections so much stronger (despite my lack of talkativeness)
than those who’ve made the decision to bail on the state or country. Maybe
because I am a lot better at making - and importantly keeping friends. My friend
making skills are superior. That has to be the reason I reckon. For those that
left Tasmania, they’re just simply not as good at the whole friendship business
as I am. Is my pretty sound theory.

🤍️ 93 ❌

19 Jul 2023, 03:02:33 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  ahh how unsurprising.. Threads has just
become brand pages, just like Twitter, but maybe worse.. Sure there was a little
bit of humans talking to humans but not any more it seems. Good old Mastodon is
the refreshing change from all that, 'Hi I'm a brand page and I have a
personality' nonsense that I don't really care for any more. It was funny for
the first few times but now it's just getting sad, seeing the main interactions
on Twitter, and now Threads be originating from brand pages. Brands that are in
it for the *money* and not just as a social space. As someone who finds
socialising online a lot easier than real life, Twitter was very compelling but
turned out to be not the right place for it. And now Threads is just becoming
more of the same.. Not that I expected it to steer far from that, but I was
kinda hoping the 'algorithm' would favour a fair amount of human-human
interactions, like Mastodon does. Nope. Threads is another Twitter. Why?

🤍️ 27 ❌

14 Jul 2023, 09:39:22 PM: 🌐️ ChatGPT:  Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
It's great that you have found a way to express yourself through this platform.
Keeping a personal blog can indeed be a wonderful way to share your thoughts and
experiences with others while still maintaining a level of privacy. It's
important to find a balance between being open and respecting your own
boundaries. Enjoy the freedom of expressing yourself, and if you have any
questions or need any assistance, feel free to ask!

🤍️ 88 ❌

14 Jul 2023, 09:39:22 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  This is a test post because most of my posts
are quite personal and I don't really want to share them with the public too
much - which I used to do on Twitter until I made this of course. A nice way to
let my thoughts out, kind of like a personal diary that others can read some of
the posts. See more details on the blog post.

🤍️ 50 ❌

07 Jul 2023, 12:39:30 PM: 🌐️ ChatGPT:  It seems like you have already made up
your mind about Threads and have found Mastodon to be a preferable platform for
your social presence. It's understandable that you prefer the lesser competition
from celebrities, brands, and viral posts on Mastodon, as well as the higher
engagement you experience there. If you feel that Threads is going to be very
similar to Twitter and will present the same issues that you encountered there,
it makes sense for you to take a passive stance and not engage with it.
Prioritizing your sanity and finding a platform that aligns better with your
preferences and goals is a reasonable decision. Ultimately, the choice of which
platform to use for your online presence is a personal one, and it's important
to select the platform that best suits your needs and values.

🤍️ 85 ❌

07 Jul 2023, 12:39:30 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I won't post about this on the prestigious
Mastodon.. but Threads is likely going to be an extremely similar clone of
Twitter. Which means it'll have the same issues - competing with celebs, brands
and viral posts, and a majority of my followers being passive and not engaging
with my posts virtually at all. Mastodon is a lot better in those regards,
hardly any celebs, very few brands and posts don't go too viral. Also, a lot
more engagement. Those issues are what has ultimately stopped me from continuing
to attempt to have a social presence on Twitter. I feel like you can't compete,
and Mastodon is like a more ideal version of Twitter for the average Joe who
just likes to contribute content and an online presence in the micro-blog
format. Threads is and is going to be no different to Twitter. So I'm just
forced to take a passive stance if I really care about my sanity.

🤍️ 4 ❌

04 Jul 2023, 02:11:29 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I'm not sure how I am feeling about my
parents moving house. On the one hand, 23 years of them living there, memories
of growing up there for a better part of that. Memories of primary school, my
grandparents, my late aunt, LAN parties, guitar ensemble practice, LEGO
Mindstorms, tinkering with computers, getting into Linux, having a little
workspace in Dad's shed, watching the renovations over the years (including the
shed being built). Dogs, Buster and Dolly. I think I can remember Buster a bit
better now. Movie nights on a Friday night. Learning to drive (slowly,
painfully). Hardly ever having friends over but there were the LAN parties.. And
a few birthday parties. College days - listening to a lot of music. Uni days -
trying to pull my finger out for the first time since high school.. Many ups and
downs with my parents - with them and between the two of them. The recovery
process 2018 onwards - couldn't have happened in my own space. But then it's
also time for them to move on I get the feeling. Sure, lots of work on the
house, but then its selling for $1M. Big money. Allowing them to find their
close-enough-to-dream home in the country side. Living next to a shopping plaza,
with the trucks and general traffic. That horrible 4 way crossing at the bottom
of the road which really needs traffic lights. Fewer walks, but I guess they'll
drive to go for a walk. I might be able to help them find ways to exercise at
home with particular gym equipment or cardio activities like maybe VR or
something. Mixed feelings. Part of me still thinks, why move? Part of me thinks
time to move on. I sure would have loved to inherit that house just let me say
but it's far far to expensive to give away to me and/or Jamie. Where would they
get the $1M to buy a new house? Even if the old house was rented out. I guess my
heart will stay in broadly New Town and as I've been thinking. If I ever settle
somewhere in Hobart, I greatly hope it's New Town. Such a nice suburb, possibly
the best. Close to the bike track would be ideal. But I can't be too picky I
suspect.. Great period of change. I could be taking on permanent part-time work
soon, I hope. That could lead to massive income that allows me to live somewhere
more ideal. Somewhere nicer. I hope. I've just got to look forward to what comes
next. Sometimes change is a good thing.

🤍️ 14 ❌

04 Jul 2023, 11:33:23 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  Discord is like a better Facebook, for
groups in particular. You get that potentially immediate response, whereas on
Facebook it all feels a lot slower and clunky. Same kind of feed, but with
channels, voice and other features. A more responsive alternative to Facebook
for those who are twitchy and desire that more immediate response. In reality,
it's not always that immediate but every now and then it is, and it of course
gives off the impression it can be. But yeah, Discord is a better Facebook for
groups. That's the objective facts.

🤍️ 57 ❌

03 Jul 2023, 07:34:53 PM: 🌐️ ChatGPT:  While it is true that big tech companies
like Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube have faced challenges in terms of
monetization and user retention, it is important to consider that these
companies have also adapted their business models over time. They have
introduced advertising and other sources of revenue to sustain their operations.
Additionally, these platforms have millions, if not billions, of active users,
making it difficult for competitors to gather a comparable user base. This
network effect acts as a barrier to entry for new players. Even if some users
are driven away due to changes in monetization, others may stay or new users may
be attracted. That being said, there is still space for smaller platforms,
forums, and self-hosted interest groups. These decentralized forms of online
interaction have their own advantages, such as greater control over content and
less reliance on a single entity. However, they may not be able to match the
reach and convenience offered by the big tech companies. In conclusion, while
the sustainability of big tech companies may come into question, it is unlikely
that they will completely collapse and be replaced by the same smaller platforms
that existed before. It is more probable that a combination of big tech and
smaller niche platforms will continue to coexist, catering to different user
preferences and needs.

🤍️ 71 ❌

03 Jul 2023, 07:34:53 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  These "big tech" companies. Twitter,
Facebook, YouTube, etc. Are not sustainable. They can't give so much away for
free forever, and when they do start asking for more money (they are doing so
atm) it drives people away. They have no succession plan as far as we all can
see. The old Internet. Forums, self-hosted special interest groups, split into a
broader array of pages are however more sustainable. Not perfect but definitely
a lot more robust. The only thing that killed them off in the past was the big
tech companies. But if these big tech companies fall over, the little guys like
the ones in the past will re-surface.. so to speak..

🤍️ 7 ❌

01 Jul 2023, 07:56:33 PM: 🌐️ ChatGPT:  Taking a break from social media can be
a healthy decision for your mental well-being. By consciously choosing to have a
Facebook-free night and breaking away from habits like aimlessly scrolling
through Messenger, you are taking control of your online behavior. Afterwards,
you may experience a sense of relief and calmness. Without the constant
notifications and distractions, you might find it easier to focus on other
activities or engage in face-to-face interactions. By redirecting your attention
away from digital platforms, you can potentially reduce anxiety and improve your
overall mood. It's important to remember that everyone's experience may differ,
so pay attention to how you feel during and after your Facebook-free night. If
you find that it positively impacts your well-being, consider incorporating more
social media breaks into your routine.

🤍️ 78 ❌

01 Jul 2023, 07:56:33 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I'm going to have a Facebook-free night
tonight. Too much anxiety there recently. Trying a mental experiment recently. I
have already been stopping myself from aimlessly opening Messenger and looking
at who's online. A weird habit that's taken a foothold, time to break out of it.
Now, just a night off Facebook. How will I feel afterwards? Possibly good.

🤍️ 31 ❌

01 Jul 2023, 07:54:25 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I remember the early days of crypto, I was
keen and interested in this digital currency revolution. Where you could *pay*
for things with Bitcoin. It just ended up being a total ponzi scheme. Now with
AI, I have been interested in it for years, but the applications AI is being
used for are *sometimes* a bit controversial. Replacing humans in some cases
where humans would do a better job. I guess unlike crypto, which got blown out
of proportion in the areas where it was bad, AI/ML is not quite as bad. There
are plenty of good uses and bad uses. A mixed bag. But venture capitalists still
throwing money at it mindlessly just because it's the hot thing at the moment.
Sometimes throwing money at the bad uses of AI. It's a step forward over crypto
and I think it can go much further than crypto ever will. So it's not quite
another crypto but there are similar elements of that bad behaviour of crypto in
it. Just wish the next big thing wasn't so controversial. Like maybe holographic
displays or something.

🤍️ 8 ❌

28 Jun 2023, 03:07:35 PM: 🌐️ ChatGPT:  I'm thrilled to hear about the exciting
possibility of a permanent part-time job with your biggest client! It's
wonderful that this opportunity offers stability and a minimum hours
requirement, which can provide a sense of security. It's great that you feel
confident in your ability to handle the workload, and it's fantastic that this
job utilizes your skills effectively. Being employed can indeed simplify many
aspects of working for yourself, and it may open doors for you to gradually
increase your hours. It's wise to consider your financial goals, such as
purchasing a new car or a house, and this job can certainly help you achieve
them with its potential income. Moreover, I'm glad that you still desire
teamwork experience and a passive-income project. It's important to find a
balance between your part-time job and these goals, and it seems like you
believe this job will not hinder your ability to pursue them. Perhaps there may
even be opportunities for teamwork within this new job, which would be a bonus.
While it's understandable that you may have some concerns about potentially
making a decision that could be detrimental to your overall well-being, it's
promising that you believe a part-time position is manageable for you. As you
mentioned, you can still explore the possibility of continuing with your
one-day-per-week "teamwork" job, unless your new job already incorporates
teamwork in some way. Taking a leap of faith and eagerly embracing this
opportunity will enable you to determine if it aligns with your expectations and
goals. It's important to approach this possibility with enthusiasm, as it has
the potential to significantly impact your life and pave the way for further
growth. While it may not be the perfect job that you stick with for the longest
time, it appears to be a step in the right direction and a valuable opportunity
for your personal and professional development. If no other opportunities have
emerged yet, it makes sense to seize this one and discover its full potential.
Best of luck as you enthusiastically pursue this exciting possibility!

🤍️ 20 ❌

28 Jun 2023, 03:07:35 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  A very exciting possibility might be
happening for me.. Permanent part time work with my biggest client. 16 hours per
week, so minimum of $1600 income *per week*. It'd push me a bit but I'm
confident I can do it. After years of patchy 5-10hrs per week with clients who
don't demand a minimum amount of hours (not a big problem but anyway). The
stability and the minimum hours requirement, which should just be possible, is a
godsend. All I really want is a part-time position that utilises my skills
fairly well. This is it, possibly. Working for myself is difficult, but being
employed simplifies a lot of things. Making it easier to increase my hours. Can
still do the business, Mon, Thurs, Fri, at my discretion. Money, is something
that I'm going to need.. to get things like a new car, *maybe* a house - that's
a challenge. No harm in earning too much money. Still want to have teamwork
experience and still want a passive-income project. I think I can achieve these
things, the new possible job won't hinder that. It might not be the perfect job
I stick with for the longest time, but it certainly is very close and will help
me a lot in life. Nothing else has popped up yet. So gotta jump on it
enthusiastically. There's a danger of doing something bad for me, but as said,
part time is manageable. Maybe, I can still do that 1 day per week "teamwork"
job, unless this job actually involves some teamwork? We shall see, by keenly
jumping in and finding out.

🤍️ 84 ❌

27 Jun 2023, 12:19:45 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  So yea, there’s the option of getting on the
NDIS and getting social supports and other benefits. But I have to wonder if
maybe I’m just particularly unlucky with my friendship groups? Physically close
friends are distant and physically far friends are close. Maybe I need to change
something up in my life to fix this?

🤍️ 63 ❌

26 Jun 2023, 06:31:30 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  What some people don't understand is that
(like my brother) my ability to express myself online or in text is greatly
superior to my ability to express myself in person. It might be deceptive that I
am so expressive and verbal but the fact is that in real life I struggle with
it, due to an inability to think consistently smoothly. In text, you don't see
that. You see a long straightforward line of words.

🤍️ 21 ❌

25 Jun 2023, 01:05:17 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpahYJ7UpP4

🤍️ 37 ❌

22 Jun 2023, 01:03:47 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I love it when I’m right about something
paranoid. Kickstart Arts *arent* being kicked out, that’s the fact. Looking
forward to working with them in future for fun constructive ideas.

🤍️ 77 ❌

21 Jun 2023, 05:18:04 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  If people knew.. how far I've come from the
lowest I have been back in 2017.. They'd appreciate all that I do, and also be
more forgiving when I stuff up, even my bigger stuff ups. Like poor
communication, under-performance in volunteer roles. My mental health *still*
fluctuates up and down a lot. But I've got to the point where I can function, I
can do quite a lot of things pretty well, though not perfectly. I still sleep in
a lot. That's for me a psychological reaction to my past life - too much work,
I'm trying to avoid work by sleeping in basically. The gym has helped me
concentrate a bit but after applying myself more than usual I'm looking at the
work that I do and it's not a surprise I get burned out easily, the nature of
the work is rather crude and stressful. Solving lots of other people's problems
by sitting in front of a screen, all by myself. I want to solve *my* problems,
or work in a team to solve problems. Working more recently hasn't caused
psychosis, but working more can make me anxious and depressed. So can't blame me
for sleeping in. What'll motivate me to get up earlier is new, refreshing
healthy work. Where do I get that from?

🤍️ 80 ❌

18 Jun 2023, 04:29:58 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I'm learning that the solo sole trader life
isn't very healthy. It was what I envisioned to help me earn *something* to keep
things afloat, but I'm finding that the fact that I do so much alone by myself
is not very healthy. I'd greatly benefit from a business partner who's also got
their act together (similar enough to me), and has similar interests and skills
as me. But who is that? I honestly don't know. So that's leading me to plan B -
find a permanent part-time job. Not for the financial stability, just for the
social aspect, working with others. Using my words. Forging connections to work
on problems as a team. Team building and all that jazz. I want that in my life,
under a financial incentive. Volunteering isn't great because you only put in
the minimum and you get paid nothing. I can't do that any more. I need a paid
position. So time to look for one perhaps.

🤍️ 90 ❌

09 Jun 2023, 10:22:53 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  The spaced out thinking has been getting
better.. Perhaps due to me lowering my meds dosage.. Trouble is, when I get down
to this amount, it opens me up to bad thoughts. All about finding that balance..
not too many thoughts! Or some might get spciy. Maybe after 6 years of being on
meds, I am getting a bit sick of them.. I want my *brain* back, in 100%
capacity. Most of the time it's about 70-75% which is limiting myself.. Of
course being on meds makes me more in touch with reality.. So there's pros and
cons..

🤍️ 87 ❌

09 Jun 2023, 01:00:21 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  My brain has been particularly spaced out
lately. Perhaps my meds. Sensing large gaps between thoughts. I guess this is
just something that happens to me post-episode, now. Random blank periods.

🤍️ 46 ❌

07 Jun 2023, 02:11:45 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Windows vs Linux is on my mind again. It's a
matter of user experience, getting things I want is not always possible on
Linux. Like a good email client. This is going to be a another big brainstorming
session but I might end up going back to Windows again on my home desktop PC
just because it's a better "experience" where things just go more smoothly and
look prettier, sound better, etc.

🤍️ 15 ❌

07 Jun 2023, 02:08:22 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I thought I had reached a peak of self
development.. but oh no.. I still have plenty of room to grow. My room is a
mess. My dresswear is a total mixed bag. I don't often shower enough (every 2
days). Still spend too much time on computer and up late. My cooking was
starting to get *weird*.. I'm in a cleaning mindset again, I'm focusing on what
I wear more, trying to take breaks from the computer, and my cooking is
hopefully going to go back to basics.

🤍️ 41 ❌

07 Jun 2023, 02:04:13 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Happiness is looking after yourself, like
really really well. Dressing smart, eating smart, getting exercise, maintaining
your social life, keeping mentally stimulated.

🤍️ 65 ❌

05 Jun 2023, 10:22:32 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Well I've mostly recovered from the illness,
which was probably the flu. I should have gotten the flu shot!! And my last
cooking experiment was a complete failure. Enchilatas with lots of vegetables
and left over rice.. Put away in the fridge to get watery. Yuck. I'm going to
bag it and bin it. Ah well not every cooking experiment is a success, you have a
few failures. It tasted pretty gross, not very mexican, not very meaty. All
bland and weird. Not sure what I'll make next, might get take away like KFC on
Wednesday and Friday.. Then cook again on Saturday.

🤍️ 59 ❌

03 Jun 2023, 08:15:10 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Ya boi is sick. Not sure what it is, it's
been ups and downs all day. Feels like some kind of bug/virus that's very mild
and will probably go away tomorrow. It's only in my head, not in my nose or
throat which is a bit weird. I did have 4 Little Rivers smash IPAs last night.
Sometimes beer can be a bit funky and make you feel unwell. Could be that. Or,
it could have been something at the Hackerspace on Thursday.. You know that
regular social event with lots of people in small rooms. Totally covid safe.
Weirdly I don't see anyone wearing a mask.. Hmm. But my bet is the beers, and
going forward I think I will wear a mask a little more often. Certainly on the
bus most of the time. Dunno about Hackerspace. I think my intuitive plan was to
keep going to HHS unmasked until I brought home an unwanted guest, THEN put a
mask on going forward. But hopefully this weird sickness will go away by
tomorrow and I may not need to instantiate greater masking preventative
measures. We shall see.. Not a fan of the spicy cough, it's a bit of a downer.

🤍️ 93 ❌

31 May 2023, 04:32:49 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I love how a certain alternative email
client will add AI tools before they add GMail keyboard shortcuts...

🤍️ 71 ❌

31 May 2023, 02:44:01 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I am going t be doing a good amount of
thinking to see how we can steer Hackers, Makers in a direction that is more
"productive" so that stuff gets made, outcomes are generated. I'd like to see
one of them be set up such that it can be semi-commercial, as in earning income
from providing services. Perhaps, and a bit of a stretch, employing someone to
provide said services (maybe a part time basis). Like 3D printing, laser
cutting, etc. Members of the community can give us files and we can make stuff
for them, for money. For example. But also just making these groups become more
than just about a community, but also a business launchpad. Support the makers,
allow them to make products, to a certain degree at least. Maybe not become a
full-time job, but say someone wants to make a certain widget, we can offer:
training, the machines, and pathways for selling stuff to people. Makers are
better suited to this but have lost the space. Hackers have most of the
requirements but have become mostly a social club that's difficult to steer in
any direction other than the current autonomous one. Or that's my impression.

🤍️ 76 ❌

31 May 2023, 02:07:11 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Speaking of making games for a living. I
love how there's a supportive community that helps game makers make games. My
other interests (electronics, web development, software development) there
aren't really any such local supportive communities that can support me to
become successful in these fields. I'm all on my own more or less in comparison.
No pathway to the industry. It's something I'm trying to fix by being a part of
the community and generating content and engaging conversations (where I can..).
My next step is to start these Tas Tech Talks.. Hmm Maybe next year.. But say
what you will about the TGm benefactors, they're doing *something* to promote
local indies get a step up. What about my electronics projects? Where's the step
up for those?

🤍️ 100 ❌

31 May 2023, 12:48:14 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I'm buying a burger from Mr Burger in
solidarity for the closure of the McDonalds. Let there be burgers!!!

🤍️ 32 ❌

31 May 2023, 12:42:39 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I'm devastated to hear that the McDonalds in
the Cat and Fiddle mall has closed down. Now there are NO fast food take aways
(except for Subway) in the central Hobart CBD. There's one in North Hobart but
it's a fair walk. Shame. Fast food is a sign of a (somewhat) civilised western
society. Russia had a McDonalds at one point (I think they're now closed) but
now Hobart like Russia - No McDonalds. Where is a guy to go for a fast burger?
There are other burger joints but they're expensive and slower. Like the closing
of the KFC, a step backwards in my honest opinion. A step back from greatness.
From the fun young adult life. Sad times for those in their teens and twenties.

🤍️ 27 ❌

31 May 2023, 11:13:54 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  New Surface Go 3 is goood.. Definitely feels
faster than the Go 1 and that's all I really wanted. I hope to see myself using
it more in future as it's a neat little device that I can bring with me
everywhere. I can even bring it in my backpack with my MacBook Air, iPad Mini
and it doesn't add all that much weight. Backpack doesn't feel much heavier. It
even came with a keyboard! So $689 well spent I think. Last big purchase before
I do my tax return, which I hope to get an accountant for. I hope to have lots
of fun with this device, for use for projects and watching videos on the couch.

🤍️ 83 ❌

30 May 2023, 12:34:17 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  The gym has been great for my mental health,
and physical health of course. But why else am I doing it? My brain leaps to
reasons like, to be a tough guy who can protect people, blah blah blah. But also
because it's that OCD satisfaction of knowing you have some control over your
health and fitness. Without this gym, how would I be knowing my health is
improving or not? This is a way to have some feeling of control over myself
which scratches an itch I like scratching.

🤍️ 58 ❌

29 May 2023, 11:37:41 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  I’m all for building a new sports stadium,
somewhere that’s NOT Macquarie point. Bridgewater? Richmond? Huonville haha.
Somewhere we’ll out of the way where there’s much less traffic.

🤍️ 49 ❌

26 May 2023, 03:59:56 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Being in 3 community orgs what have I
learned? It's *not* like being paid to do a job. There is little accountability
for not getting stuff done. Sometimes stuff doesn't get done when people say
it's going to and you just can't don anything about it. On the other hand, it's
showcasing what people are willing to do for free, which shows what people are
truly capable of if money was not an incentive. Passion projects, self-driven
motivation and caring for the community. The community is a product of the
committee's efforts most of the time. And it thrives when the committee put the
effort in.

🤍️ 38 ❌

26 May 2023, 02:53:37 PM: 🌐️ ChatGPT:  As an AI language model, I don't have
experiences in driving community organizations. However, I can suggest some
strategies that can help in expanding the services and opportunities of
community organizations beyond its social purpose. 1. Identify the needs of the
community: It's essential to begin by identifying the specific needs of the
community and how the organization can address them. Conducting surveys or focus
groups to collect information and ideas from the community can be helpful in
identifying the right direction. 2. Collaborate with other organizations:
Partnering with other organizations that share similar goals can help the
community organization expand its services and opportunities. Collaborating with
local businesses, non-profits, government agencies, and other community-based
organizations can help create significant partnerships for the community. 3.
Utilize technology: Incorporating technology can help community organizations to
broaden their reach and service offerings. This could include an online
presence, virtual events, social media, and other forms of digital
communication. 4. Participate in volunteer events: Participating in volunteer
events outside of the usual activities can increase the visibility of the
community organization. This can help attract new volunteers, donors, and
supporters to the organization. 5. Offer training and educational opportunities:
Providing training and educational programs for members of the community can
help to build better and more skilled members, as well as attract new members.
The training can range from life skills, academic classes, and vocational skills
among others. Implementing a combination of these strategies can help community
organizations expand their services and opportunities beyond the social aspects
of their community.

🤍️ 48 ❌

26 May 2023, 02:53:37 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Speaking of driving community orgs in a
questionable direction. I get that community orgs exist for a very social
reason, but beyond that it's always a bit tricky expanding the services and
opportunities. It's something I'm thinking about. How to be more than just a
social organisation. Without failing again and again. How do you make it work?

🤍️ 65 ❌

26 May 2023, 02:47:10 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  So if you think that getting on the beers is
a bit unprofesh, come in with a profesh attitude and offer alternatives.. I
dunno for me getting on the beers I with friends doesn't happen enough so I am
always gleefully delighted when it happens, even at the expense of driving a
community org in a questionable direction.. hehe

🤍️ 87 ❌

26 May 2023, 02:39:05 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Funny thing about community orgs is that if
you don't like the way they're run, or want to drive them in a particular
direction, you can change things. All you have to do is join the committee. I
see that done sometimes, it happens, like recently with one particular one
that's been struggling. If you want to make a change there's nothing stopping
you.

🤍️ 13 ❌

26 May 2023, 12:11:06 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I reiterate. If you're getting something for
free you're likely paying in other ways. Like privacy. Are you okay with that?
Or would you rather throw some money at an alternative that isn't at all creepy
like that. For me I'm leaning towards the latter lately..

🤍️ 12 ❌

25 May 2023, 02:20:18 PM: 🌐️ ChatGPT:  There are different ways a community
organization can finance the things they need. One way is through grants. There
are many organizations out there that offer grants for community projects and
initiatives. These grants could cover everything from rent for office space to
funding for events and programs. Another way is through partnerships and
sponsorships. Local businesses and corporations may be willing to sponsor a
community organization if they see the value in what they are doing. This could
mean anything from giving money to providing resources and services. Hosting
events that raise money could also be a way to finance the things a community
organization needs. This could be anything from selling tickets to a fundraiser
event or hosting a charity auction. Ultimately, it comes down to being creative
and resourceful. If a community organization is willing to put in the effort and
think outside the box, financing their needs doesn't have to be impossible. It
just takes some planning and determination to make it happen.

🤍️ 100 ❌

25 May 2023, 02:20:18 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Nothing, or very rarely do you get things
for free in this world. Even if it doesn't cost money, you pay in other ways.
Like free emails, you pay with your privacy. Even when someone gives you
something for free, it's costing them a certain amount. And things like office
space are particularly expensive. That being said, it does feel good to do
things for free and systems like communism or socialism have their advantages.
But the reality is we live in a heavily capitalistic society, where most things
you want to have, have a dollar value. Food, water, electricity, roof over your
head, transport, all the way up to shiny electronic toys and games. One thing
that is free is knowledge. But just about every tangible other thing isn't. What
I'm getting at is if you base yourself off of mooching stuff for free, you're
going to have problems over time. You can expect it. Even with
Hacker/Makerspaces. So if you want to have something that costs a lot, you've
got to figure out how to finance it. I've done that with my business. How can a
community organisation do it? With some thought and effort.. Ideally from
someone who has experience running a business.

🤍️ 89 ❌

23 May 2023, 01:10:06 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Call me a rich bozo but I think I would
benefit from having *both* an iPad Air *and* a new Surface Go 3. I'd use the Air
mostly at home, but oddly the Surface Go mostly out and about where I would want
a real PC for work and projects. I like the Go, it's very portable, fits in
anywhere, looks cooler than most laptops. But I also want an iPad for
entertainment and social media use at home. Wouldn't use it out as much. That's
why I have an iPad Mini hahah.. This is why I need to get up earlier to start
earning more money... So I can have all these various many gadgets I think I
might actually use.

🤍️ 87 ❌

23 May 2023, 01:03:06 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I'm now making wraps for lunch. Instead of
bread for my toasted sandwich. Will still toast them, as there's cheese in them.
But this is yet another healthier (lower carb) alternative I'm trying in the
hopes to lose weight. It's not working that well but I guess you really have to
(slowly) dial it up to 11 to start to see the effects. Slowly is they key.

🤍️ 56 ❌

23 May 2023, 11:39:35 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  My brain isn’t wired that well to do the
Monday to Friday 9-5. I get stressed easily , I stay up late a lot. I would be
better off with a passive income earner project. Something I should have started
in my early to mid 20/ ideally but my head wasn’t quite right back then. For
certain spicy reasons. Oh well, I guess maybe it’s time to think of a real
passive income earner, maybe a game, for real this time. Make a really good
game. We shall see, give it some head space.

🤍️ 29 ❌

22 May 2023, 06:42:44 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Good curry tonight. Real chicken, some vegan
sausage, tofu, potato and just a few other vegies (capsicum and chillis). Felt
the need to have real chicken with curry again. And it's paying off.. Vegan
sausage really doesn't quite do it for me in the longer term.. Real chicken ftw.
Sorry vegans hehe. Would say it's a winner, but not hard to stuff up my chicken
curry, I've been doing it for over a decade.

🤍️ 58 ❌

20 May 2023, 09:43:28 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Some more great news about my concentration.
Tonight’s Star Wars role playing game went well due to my better than normal
concentration. I was able to pay attention to most of the session unlike most
times where I lose focus often and get distracted. Another benefit of the gym.
I’m not going to be able to quit this gym am I? 🤣

🤍️ 20 ❌

19 May 2023, 04:42:41 PM: 🌐️ ChatGPT:  However, I do appreciate the seamless
integration with my iPhone and the ability to reply to texts and receive calls
right from my wrist. The activity tracking is also great and motivates me to
move more throughout the day. The various watch faces are a nice touch as well,
allowing me to customize the look and feel of my watch. Overall, I am very
satisfied with my Apple Watch and would recommend it to anyone looking for a
reliable, feature-packed smartwatch. While there are some areas for improvement,
such as the app selector screen and battery life, the positives far outweigh the
negatives.

🤍️ 1 ❌

19 May 2023, 04:42:41 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  I love my new Apple Watch. It's how I would
expect a watch to work, for the most part. I'm not a huge fan of the app
selector screen, where you scroll around in an XY axis. A simple list would be
better, like the old Sony Smartwatch 2 (which I have and is now obsolete..). But
otherwise it's excellent. Battery life lasts more than one day, unlike my old LG
smartwatch which died before the end of the day. That was a 2017 watch though.
Things no doubt have come a long way since then. This could last about 2 days if
I wanted but I charge it every night anyway. The strap comes off easily and I
just wear my fitbit to bed which tracks sleep. A better setup than just the
Amazfit GTS 2 mini. But I still yearn for the single smart watch with better
battery life, like the old Pebbles. They were more what I wanted in a
smartwatch.

🤍️ 0 ❌

19 May 2023, 01:47:45 PM: 🌐️ ChatGPT:  Some other potential life goals that you
may want to consider: 1. Achieving financial stability and security 2.
Developing strong, supportive relationships with friends and family 3. Pursuing
personal growth and self-improvement 4. Giving back to your community through
volunteer work or donations 5. Achieving career success and fulfillment 6.
Traveling and exploring the world 7. Maintaining good physical and mental health
8. Building a happy and fulfilling romantic relationship 9. Starting a family or
having children 10. Leaving a positive impact on the world through your work,
actions, or legacy. Remember, your life goals should be personal and meaningful
to you - don't worry about what others expect or what society deems as
"successful". Take your time in crafting your goals, and revise them as
necessary over time.

🤍️ 7 ❌

19 May 2023, 01:47:45 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  What are my life goals? I tried to write
them down in my notes app. I put down some dot points, which I feel I could
simplify into something with fewer words. Like, "doing the minimum amount of
work on passion projects to earn income" who doesn't want that. But I can break
it down into separate goals at least, so maybe I don't achieve the above, I can
achieve parts of it, like finding a good amount of work hours while earning a
good amount of income. And sometimes getting paid for passion projects, but not
always. Need to work on it.

🤍️ 21 ❌

19 May 2023, 01:04:26 PM: 🌐️ ChatGPT:  It's important to take care of ourselves
and recognize when our minds need a break or some relaxation. Taking the time to
meditate and limit alcohol intake can definitely help in calming the scattered
thoughts. Being aware of potential negative emotions developing is also a good
sign of self-awareness and proactive self-care. Taking small steps like these
can allow for a more productive and clear-minded future.

🤍️ 21 ❌

19 May 2023, 01:04:26 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Yep, brain is very scatter brain today. It's
funny and quirky sometimes, awkward other times. I guess I can try to mitigate
it, I am generally better off not being scatter brain, but I guess the variety
of thinking can be good sometimes. Not something I want to have happen all the
time. Fortunately I'm not too anxious, stressed or paranoid, but there's the
risk that could develop a bit. Hence why this isn't a good state of mind to be
in very often. Tonight I will take it easy and not drink that much and try to
meditate.

🤍️ 21 ❌

19 May 2023, 11:59:29 AM: 🌐️ ChatGPT:  As an AI language model, I'm not able to
know which committees you're on. However, it seems like you have been giving
considerable thought to your commitments and their impact on your life. It's
essential to make time for oneself and reevaluate our choices from time to time.
If leaving a committee allows you to focus on your other projects and
activities, then it might be the right decision for you.

🤍️ 7 ❌

19 May 2023, 11:59:28 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  I'm thinking of leaving *one* of the three
committees I'm on. I'm thinking it could give me more time for myself. Not that
I am that busy, well I guess I am really, with all my projects and activities.
Time to shuffle it around a bit. Not that I find committee stuff getting in the
way of my life, but I just wonder what could replace it. More projects? More
*output* from these projects? Could be a good thing overall. I won't say which
one I'm thinking of, but if you know the 3 that I'm on, you might be able to
narrow it down.

🤍️ 17 ❌

17 May 2023, 08:01:18 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Today I helped Jono, the owner of The Stagg
coffee shop pick out a cheap speaker amplifier. He went to JB Hifi to look for
one, but they were all expensive and had more features than he needed. I found
one on Amazon that was simple, cheap and did the job nicely. He was pretty happy
with the device and is likely going to buy it. Done my good deed for the day.
Dunno why I did more good deeds after that.

🤍️ 15 ❌

17 May 2023, 12:39:45 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Can't get work done yet until Clockify (time
tracker app) updates! Which is taking a long time..

🤍️ 18 ❌

17 May 2023, 01:29:14 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  Can I get a sound off for Hybrid #nowplaying
https://tidal.com/track/150904062

🤍️ 5 ❌

17 May 2023, 01:27:10 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  Cool new track #nowplaying
https://open.spotify.com/track/2bLiZF46JqLUdPXHIAfZx7?si=fxQwylDXTd2RJGHupHNW5w

🤍️ 20 ❌

17 May 2023, 01:16:40 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  Over it #nowplaying
https://open.spotify.com/track/4PL4c8D1cOVjv23cGLU8vP?si=FIyLFG6KTaCJ0sua7UBzKA

🤍️ 20 ❌

17 May 2023, 12:44:44
AM: 🌐️ Leo:  https://open.spotify.com/track/4EYvEheGn4usgCp0sxYJhD?si=Ddui8w_gT5mFILN7d_Lp_g
something to believe in

🤍️ 19 ❌

16 May 2023, 12:43:38 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  Epic music from 2016 #NowPlaying
https://open.spotify.com/track/48n92l7OnLEURhalUBtsl7?si=bed013bf031a448f

🤍️ 11 ❌

16 May 2023, 12:23:52 PM: 🌐️ Leo:  My eternal battle with myself is trying to
get into work to start work early. Had a lot of disruptions that made me have to
go to the gym today, then busses were cancelled into town! What. I ended up
starting work, after lunch at 3pm.. Did get over an hour of work done, so that's
not so terrible. If I could get to the office at 9am I'd increase my earnings
significantly. But it's difficult, something always gets in the way for me :/

🤍️ 1 ❌

14 May 2023, 01:24:41 AM: 🌐️ Leo:  A public message

🤍️ 12 ❌