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URL:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5021053-am-in-utter-shock
Submission: On March 07 via manual from GB — Scanned from GB
Submission: On March 07 via manual from GB — Scanned from GB
Form analysis 87 forms found in the DOM
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<div class="relative"><input type="search" id="searchBox" maxlength="128" placeholder="Search"
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<div><label for="mobileSearchBox" class="text-sm block sr-only"> Search </label>
<div class="relative"><input type="search" id="mobileSearchBox" maxlength="128" placeholder="Search"
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<form action="https://www.mumsnet.com/utility/register" method="POST" class="py-2.5 lg:px-8 text-blue-700 hover:underline block mb-0" x-bind:style="'width:' + Alpine.store('global').mainNavItemWidth + 'px;'" rel="nofollow"
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<form action="https://www.mumsnet.com/utility/register" method="POST" class="inline-block font-bold mx-0.5 whitespace-nowrap">
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<form action="https://www.mumsnet.com/utility/register" method="POST" class="" nofollow="nofollow">
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<form action="https://www.mumsnet.com/utility/register" method="POST" class="" nofollow="nofollow">
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<form action="https://www.mumsnet.com/utility/register" method="POST" class="" nofollow="nofollow">
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RELATIONSHIPS
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AM IN UTTER SHOCK
729 replies
honeyandbutterontoast · 04/03/2024 02:09
Will start by saying this is an OW thread. So I’m not asking for sympathy, I’m
just in utter utter shock.
Twelve years ago I met someone. We were both married. We fell in love (I
thought). My DH was a bad man, I’m not excusing myself but he was. I divorced
him, took the bare minimum and waited for OM to do the same.
He didn’t. For years it went on, his excuses, so I wouldn’t see him, he begged
me to be patient. I was his soulmate, his best friend, etc etc etc. And I loved
him so much.
We bought a house together, he decided on completion day that he couldn’t leave
her. I was in a financial mess for years over that.
In Oct 22 I gave him an ultimatum (this date is important), he had to leave her
or we couldn’t speak anymore (up till this point we emailed and texted multiple
times a day). He said he couldn’t leave her, couldn’t be without his kids. He
went away on holiday with them.
Stupidly we stayed in touch “as friends”. Daily he would ask to see me. He would
tell me he wanted to be with me, no matter what would make it happen.
(Sorry this is an essay)
Last spring we saw each other for lunch a couple of times. Something was off but
I couldn’t work out what, he seemed depressed. I started dating again and told
him we could only be friends.
In the summer he sent me a photo and I noticed he didn’t have a wedding ring on!
He told me he had “recently” left his wife but didn’t know how to tell me. That
he wasn’t sure if we should move in together straight away (!!) or just get to
know each other as single people.
We met for lunch a couple of times, he had endless excuses why I couldn’t see
his new flat. It all seemed odd but somehow plausible. We last saw each other in
October but carried on messaging multiple times a day, chatting about
everything. Or so I thought.
He told me he was very depressed and unhappy. Needed time to get used to life
alone. I truly believed he was unhappy, possibly even suicidal at times.
This evening I received a message. From his girlfriend. Who he lives with. Who
he had told he was separated when he met her 18 months ago. Yep when I gave him
the ultimatum, he was with her. They have a whole life together.
She is 20 years younger than he is.
We spoke on the phone and while speaking she was looking through his phone.
There are multiple women. All that age. It’s been going on for years with them.
How he has time to run a company I do not know.
So here I am, 12 years on. In utter shock. And that poor girl. I didn’t know
what to say to her, I could only assure her there has been nothing intimate
between us since before she met him. Unfortunately he has been with others.
i honestly would have told you he was my best friend. His behaviour had been odd
yes, but I never thought for a moment it was like this.
His last messages to me were how he had an okay day today, hadn’t done much.
They are on holiday!!!
I get that in some ways I deserve this. But she doesn’t. He obviously was
putting his wedding ring on to meet me! How messed up is that. Or maybe he
wasn’t married then anymore?!
And I’m guessing when we were actually in an intimate relationship he was
shagging these other women. I really had no idea. He would beg me not to leave
him as he was so unhappy but had no idea how to leave without losing his
children/business.
Desperately need to sleep but had to get all that out. It’s like an episode of
eastenders.
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pikkumyy77 · 04/03/2024 02:12
I’m so, so, sorry.
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honeyandbutterontoast · 04/03/2024 02:14
I thought he was my best friend. He’s told me for months how unhappy he is. To
just bear with him.
And meanwhile telling her he’s the happiest he’s ever been.
I know men can lie. But omfg.
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Ialwaystry · 04/03/2024 02:20
Crikey lucky escape!...eventually..
He must be exhausted living that life and lying so much. Must be why he has
depression.
Very insecure and needy too ..(him).
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TheSilentSister · 04/03/2024 02:21
Men are the best liars as they have little compassion and think only through
their d*cks. Sorry, but that's my personal experience. Been there and got the
t-shirt.
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HangingOver · 04/03/2024 02:23
Fuuuuck OP. What absolute dirtbag. People like this scare me.
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honeyandbutterontoast · 04/03/2024 02:31
According to her he isn’t depressed. They had the perfect life. Very very happy.
I feel like such a fool. A couple of weeks ago I stayed up all night talking to
him when he was stuck in an airport waiting for a flight. I was the only person
who understood him apparently. His only friend.
clearly I never understood him.
I just want to curl up and die
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Ilovelurchers · 04/03/2024 02:39
Sorry, I am so sorry.
Lots of men are indeed bloody fucking awful. (And some women too, of course).
He obviously just has the most monumental ability to compartmentalise. I am not
defending him in the least, but he probably does think of you as his good
friend. Just in his twisted world that doesn't preclude lying his arse off to
you whenever he feels like it....
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MsDogLady · 04/03/2024 02:41
His poor former Wife. He abused her for more than a decade.
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Holdingsteady · 04/03/2024 02:43
Sorry OP,
I hope the current GF tells all the other women the truth about this scum bag
and he gets dumped left, right and centre by everyone.
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dollymixedup · 04/03/2024 02:44
I'm so sorry, you will get over this.
No consolation at all, but similar happened to me with my ex girlfriend (lesbian
relationship) over a slightly shorter time period (5 years).
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honeyandbutterontoast · 04/03/2024 02:44
I have no idea who he is.
If someone had asked me yesterday I would have said he was my best friend, the
absolute love of my life.
I knew his behaviour had been weird for a while. But I just thought he was
exhausted. I was so worried.
He was exhausted. Shagging multiple women 20 years younger will do that.
He told her I was a liar. And was blackmailing him. I protected him for years.
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honeyandbutterontoast · 04/03/2024 02:46
I’m so worried she will take him back. He is clearly such a good liar and she is
so young :(
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RichPetunia · 04/03/2024 02:46
You've not been a fool. You've been a person who genuinely thought they'd found
love, and who had the strength to extricate yourself when the situation dragged
on.
But no wonder you are in shock. That's a long time to be emotionally tied to
someone and then find out that it's all been a lie. Well, more fool him. He's
obviously an arse and you are well out of it. Having been in a similar situation
years ago I can tell you that things will get better, but it takes time. Experts
say two years and that was spot on for me. Now, I look back and think I had a
lucky escape. At the time I thought my world had ended. Just be grateful you've
discovered the truth now and not in another twelve years. You are strong enough
to move on.
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honeyandbutterontoast · 04/03/2024 02:56
I asked him many times if he had someone else. Sometimes he was really rude to
me for asking, said I should trust him.
She had read those messages, could see I asked him.
I gave him a lot of opportunities to say he had met someone, he could have just
let me walk away.
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honeyandbutterontoast · 04/03/2024 02:58
When I last met him for dinner (Sept), he was close to tears saying how much he
missed the family dog, how he couldn’t have it stay because he lived in a flat.
I felt so sorry for him.
He was living in a house. And they had a dog!!!
He could have got an Oscar for that performance.
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Livinghappy · 04/03/2024 03:06
@honeyandbutterontoast I'm sorry he has wasted so much of your time and love.
However he must be very disordered to be capable of this level of deception.
I found out, after separation, that my ex H was highly deceptive to a
pathological level. It was such a shock so I can relate to how you are feeling.
It will take a while to fully comprehend what has happened. For quite a while
afterwards I had "flashbacks" as my brain tried to work out reality, like pieces
of a jigsaw being dropped into place, to form the real picture (not the lies I
had been told).
He is clearly very manipulative so don't risk any contact with him again
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honeyandbutterontoast · 04/03/2024 03:13
I’m just laying here reading messages trying to sort the truth from the lies.
It’s the first night in more than 12 years he hasn’t messaged me goodnight. And
a part of me is so sad about that. How ridiculous.
My exDH was a really bad person and this man was the only person in my life I
trusted because of that. He would vow to look after me and make my life happy.
And while I was perfectly happy most of the time bumbling along in my life,
somehow thinking we were this great love story and that I needed to be a bit
more patient.
Twelve years of my life have been a lie.
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Ilovelurchers · 04/03/2024 03:32
It's completely normal that you feel dreadful about this - it WILL get better in
time. I know this might sound mad, but is there anything you can do to distract
yourself? You need to turn your mind off from the anguish for a while.
I am upset tonight myself (not as bad as your situation) and I know I can't
sleep so I have been reading a crime novel - focusing on the characters' awful
lives has made me feel slightly better about my own situation if that makes
sense?
You have to stop thinking about it or you'll go mad. And you'll never figure it
out. He probably doesn't understand what he has done or why he did it either, so
how can you?
It's awful. Hope his poor girlfriend is ok too. All his poor girlfriends
actually! It's terrible.
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honeyandbutterontoast · 04/03/2024 03:41
She’s only a couple of years older than my DD.
Which makes me feel sick, I had no idea he was interested in women that young.
Thank goodness I never let him meet my DC.
I can’t switch off from this.
I’ve got so many messages saying how sad he was spending another evening alone
after an m and s ready meal. I was so worried about him. Why was he sending me
5-10 messages an evening sitting right next to her.
I’m mortified by the occasional drunk flirty message I sent that he would
politely knock back saying we needed to build our friendship back first and
other such bollocks, she’s read all those.
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Fraaahnces · 04/03/2024 03:55
I think you’re going to have to remind yourself that not only was HE a very bad
man too, but you have form for chosing to believe a man’s words over his actions
- as well as your own intuition. You said that asked him again and again if
there was someone else and chose to believe him when he denied it. You knew that
there was and yet you shut down your inner voice because it suited you to still
think of him as your soulmate and best friend. Why did you continue to believe
him when he had repeatedly let you down? You created a fantasy world where this
man was good and kind so that YOU could maintain the illusion. You did this to
yourself by continuing to dialogue with him. What stuns me is that you didn’t
consider that he was cheating on you with his poor wife - it only hit you that
he was a lying, cheating shit of a man when it was someone you felt you couldn’t
compete with.
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honeyandbutterontoast · 04/03/2024 04:05
No I knew he was cheating with me. I have said that. I have also said we went
years at one point not actually meeting. I also did believe from the fact he
spent hours every evening and weekend messaging and phoning me for the first 8
years or so, that they did lead separate lives. As I’ve said I was in a very
abusive marriage and so I believed his was unhappy too. That isn’t an excuse, it
is what I believed.
And yes I asked if he was seeing someone else after he left his wife, his
behaviour was strange. I also tried to end things many times but I was worried
that he was depressed.
I’ve now found photos that show earlier last year he wasn’t wearing his wedding
ring, but did when he met me for coffee/lunch.
He’s fooled this other woman too, and her family and friends. And many other
women along the way. Yes his wife too. I have no idea what she knows.
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oakleaffy · 04/03/2024 04:06
TheSilentSister · 04/03/2024 02:21
Men are the best liars as they have little compassion and think only through
their d*cks. Sorry, but that's my personal experience. Been there and got the
t-shirt.
@honeyandbutterontoast Me too!
I get on fine with my ex husband now, but years ago had a partner after my ex
husband who was a terrible liar and a complete head f&cker.
You are best off without this awful man. He will never change.
I stopped all contact - it took me a couple of years to get over it completely,
mine too like much younger women {I was 37 at the time!}
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oakleaffy · 04/03/2024 04:11
I had no idea he was interested in women that young.
^^
You'd better believe it.
Men even ones in their forties and fifties like them really young. It's a status
thing.. and also younger women are easier to fool with their {the men's} tissue
of lies.
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oakleaffy · 04/03/2024 04:14
Fraaahnces · 04/03/2024 03:55
I think you’re going to have to remind yourself that not only was HE a very bad
man too, but you have form for chosing to believe a man’s words over his actions
- as well as your own intuition. You said that asked him again and again if
there was someone else and chose to believe him when he denied it. You knew that
there was and yet you shut down your inner voice because it suited you to still
think of him as your soulmate and best friend. Why did you continue to believe
him when he had repeatedly let you down? You created a fantasy world where this
man was good and kind so that YOU could maintain the illusion. You did this to
yourself by continuing to dialogue with him. What stuns me is that you didn’t
consider that he was cheating on you with his poor wife - it only hit you that
he was a lying, cheating shit of a man when it was someone you felt you couldn’t
compete with.
Never EVER shut down your inner voice.
It is there for a reason.
I shut down mine, and regretted it deeply.
@honeyandbutterontoast Listen to it always.
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honeyandbutterontoast · 04/03/2024 04:21
In a way I did listen to it. I refused to see him. I guess I knew something
wasn’t right.
He endlessly asked me about what I was doing, etc but only was vague in reply.
I think because my DC have mental health issues I somehow convinced myself that
must be the cause of his behaviour. Although he knew they did and he knew how
that made them act, so I can see he could have used that knowledge.
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