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Skip to main content AITA for how I revealed that I’m autistic? : r/AmItheAsshole Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. For more information, please see our Cookie Notice and our Privacy Policy. Open menu Open navigation Go to Reddit Home r/AmItheAsshole A chip A close button Get app Get the Reddit app Log In Log in to Reddit Expand user menu Open settings menu Log In / Sign Up Advertise on Reddit Shop Collectible Avatars GET THE REDDIT APP Scan this QR code to download the app now Or check it out in the app stores Go to AmItheAsshole r/AmItheAsshole r/AmItheAsshole A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. See our ~~*Best Of*~~ "Most Controversial" at /r/AITAFiltered! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 17M Members 2.1K Online • 6 mo. ago Physical-Ninja388 ADMIN MOD AITA FOR HOW I REVEALED THAT I’M AUTISTIC? Not the A-hole I F24 have been with my bf for 2 years. We're family friends and have known each other and the other’s family growing up. Throughout my life I thought I’d struggled with anxiety, depression, and mild OCD, but never quite fit the diagnostic criteria and struggled to get effective treatment or a diagnosis. This has been pretty private my entire life- it was rarely visible from the outside. Shortly before my bf and I started dating, at 21, I saw a new provider who suggested I read about how autism presents in women. I was hesitant since I had a preconceived idea about what autism looked like, but just about everything I read clicked and it was like a light flipped on. I felt so understood and everything made so much sense, including my past struggles to get an effective diagnosis/treatment. I underwent two evaluations (one was just for a second opinion) and was diagnosed with autism from each. The diagnosis did not change much about my day-to-day life but understanding autism definitely helped me learn better coping mechanisms for some of my struggles. My evaluations were literally right before bf and I became “official” and it took me a while to disclose to him, but he was super understanding and read up on autism in women. It has never been an issue in our relationship. Recently we were at a bonfire with his extended family and I was sitting with the women. Bf’s sister Sara is pregnant and shared fear of her baby having autism, and the women started talking about how awful that would be- how if the baby had autism it’d need round-the-clock lifelong care and ruin the parents life. I sympathized to an extent because autism is a spectrum, and some autistic people do need round-the-clock lifelong care and raising a severely disabled child is taxing. But most autistic kids grow up into functioning adults, so I kindly told her that and that even if her baby had autism, everything would most likely be alright. She responded “Have you ever MET an autistic adult? Clearly not.” Then went on about how even the few autistic adults who don’t need round-the-clock care can’t hold “normal” jobs and could never support themselves. Everyone with autism is different, but Sara and her family have always raved about me and expressed extreme support for me and bf’s relationship. I have a great career and very comfortably support myself. I listened until I couldn’t anymore and then I said. “Sara, for what it’s worth, I am autistic.” The women freaked out and said there was “no way” I’m autistic. I went on to share that I’ve been evaluated twice, and autism is pretty widely misunderstood. Sara practically ran to tell on me to my bf, who just said “I know. It’s not really a big deal.” He is on my side but the rest of his family is saying I ruined their night and should’ve sat them down to have a serious conversation about my diagnosis rather than “springing it on them.” They’re extremely pissed at me for the way I went about this. AITA? Read more Add a Comment Sort by: Top Open comment sort options Best Top New Controversial Old Q&A Judgement_Bot_AITA • 6mo ago Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I definitely could've just walked away and broached the topic another time. Help keep the sub engaging! DON’T DOWNVOTE ASSHOLES! Do upvote interesting posts! Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ SUBREDDIT ANNOUNCEMENTS HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, AITA! Follow the link above to learn more -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. Reply reply The_Ghost_Reborn • 6mo ago NTA. Sara put her foot in her mouth and is dealing with it by going on the offensive. They're not extremely pissed at you, there's no feelings involved, they're just doing mean-girl tactics to try to get rid of you. Reply reply Boeing367-80 • 6mo ago OP embarrassed them and they fully deserved it. NTA. Reply reply 1 more reply 1 more reply More replies [deleted] • 6mo ago Well, using mean-girl tactics against an autistic woman/girl is pretty classic behaviour... Reply reply 4 more replies 4 more replies More replies 3 more replies 3 more replies More replies Aggressive-Bed3269 • 6mo ago NTA - They're just mad because they talked a whole lot of shit about how awful autism is and would be if their child had it... and it turns out you're autistic, and they're hellaciously embarassed. Instead of apologizing as would have been appropriate, they ran to rat you out to your bf, and then are now pretending to be the victims in all of this. Frankly, it's pathetic. Also whether or not you're autistic is literally none of their business. You could have NEVER told them and you'd still be very much in the right. Reply reply 1 more reply 1 more reply More replies AdelleDeWitt • 6mo ago OMG, NTA. I'm autistic and I don't schedule giant meetings to announce this information. If it comes up in conversation, it comes up in conversation. These people are ableist as hell. Reply reply kitkatpurr • 6mo ago Exactly! You don't need a meeting to share a normal part of life, as though it's something "bad" that we're autistic! Reply reply 4 more replies 4 more replies More replies 12 more replies 12 more replies More replies Mitoisreal • 6mo ago Nta. They could've used that as an opportunity address their ignorance and gotten a ton of reassurance from an autistic adult who's able to have a good life. But no, they're pissed about being wrong. Reply reply sophlog • 6mo ago Lmao if you’re gonna flaunt the fact that you’re uneducated about something, you gotta prepare to be schooled every now and then. NTA Reply reply idiocyengineer • 6mo ago Lol, NTA, you’re allowed to disclose information about yourself however/wherever you want to. It made them uncomfortable bc they realized they were being ignorant and offensive. 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