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VOICE OF TEGUMAILAGI

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CONFIDENCE BOOSTER

Every week we would set milestone for my Tegu to achieve, we particularly focus
on his social skills. This you may assume for a little boy like Tegumailagi it
should come to him without effort, unfortunately it does not. It will be Easter
Egg hunt in a day, I walked up to the Welfare Dept to confirm his place in the
Egg hunt, kindly enough they did have space to add Tegu. That instantly warmed
my heart, knowing he was going to have some interaction with other children. I
mentioned his dietary requirement (limited to toast evenly covered in butter and
honey with cut out crusts or mccoy cheese and onion crisps). I reassured Lou and
Patch at the Welfare Dept to not worry, I will bring Tegu’s food to save the
inconvenience of having to do one specific snack for just one person. We arrived
greeted by the lovely Camilla who introduced herself to us and I briefly
mentioned that Tegu loved the outdoors and will be outside as he was not aware
of the new surroundings. A while later we had a plate of toast and crisps (Mccoy
Cheese and Onion to be exact) brought out to us, with these I was thankful as
these were Tegu’s favourite. We finally gained the courage to go indoors . We
met William who was very receptive of Tegu, there was a definite coolness about
William (the calmest dog ever) that drew Tegumailagi’s attention undisturbed.
The three very thoughtful little girls (Marli,Maddi,Channelle) that helped my
Tegu around the compound looking for Easter Eggs. With all these happening
around me it has brought me close to tears, this was it “The pinnacle of Autism
Awareness”, consideration, kindness, thoughtfulness and love they all were a
definite reminder that ” it’s ok to be different”. To my Tegu being included was
acceptance that voided all his self-doubt. We ended the Egg hunt with a bag
filled with goodies, and an infectious smile that I could not assimilate. More
importantly we left beaming with limitless confidence. Thank you to the very
considerate Welfare team and Camilla for the well thoughtout Easter Egg Hunt


Lini Sevakasiga-Turova Uncategorized 2 Comments 16th Apr 201917th Apr 2019 1
Minute
Featured


HEAVEN’S DEW

A little fact into how i came about the name Tegumailagi. May 2013 my most
unfavourable year I was based in Northern Ireland when I received a call
relaying the news of the death of my beloved maternal grandmother Bu Litia ( Mrs
Sovanivalu Senior) this was also the lady that contributed so much to my
upbringing. She was my everything. This trip was like no other I knew she was
not going to greet me with the most tastiest bowl of “rourou” in Suva. (this is
what I always kindly ask my Bu to cook for me when I got home) Got on to the
next available flight to Fiji for the funeral. It had dawn on me this was it, I
will never see my Bu again. It’s amazing how every little detailed experience I
share with my Bu I was able to recall that very moment. This was a different
kind of pain. Little did I know this was just a tip of the iceberg, what was
already written in the history book was unmeasurable. Had a good catch up with
family and we continued with the traditional after funeral formalities. Spent a
good few weeks at home on the Sunday of the final week I was to make my way back
to the airport to fly out. This was cancelled as we took my Daddy for a checkup
which resulted in admission at the hospital. Days later Daddy was also called to
rest. As I Sat outside our home I question myself why is this happening to me, I
could actually hear my self saying ” oh please I can’t cope ” I could not take
another loss. Life was unfair it took the two most important people who were
dear to my heart. It is true that you find yourself at the lowest point of your
life. Came back to Northern Ireland after Daddy’s funeral. Every morning i would
be met by the most beautiful scenery which was covered by droplets of morning
dew. It would be quite beautiful, yet innocently peaceful. An avid Sunday school
goer, I hoped like I’ve never hope before and prayed like I’ve never prayed
before for the pain I had lingering to disappear. There I was like the morning
dew, transparent and waiting for that warmth of reassurance from our creator to
form droplets of hope to refresh my mindset. Months later that came in the form
of Tegumailagi (Fijian for Heaven’s Dew). Tegu was definitely hope and
reassurance personified.

Lini Sevakasiga-Turova Uncategorized 2 Comments 7th Apr 20197th Apr 2019 2
Minutes
Featured


MY TA’S KEEPER

 * Enchanted by how much Tegumailagi adores his Ta( Dad in Fijian), It is indeed
   one of a kind sight to see. Some of us tend to get bored if everyday is
   repeated over and over again, not this lovely duo. Well I will have you know
   that it’s never boring in Tegu’s House. Like clock work our morning starts at
   0530hrs. Tegumailagi wakes up then heads straight for a shower, yes without
   any hesitation and even on a weekend. When in the shower he will call out
   “Ta” this is an indication that Ta can open the bathroom doors and help him
   out of the shower, dare I interfere with this regime I will be ushered back
   to the bathroom door by Tegu, might I add that it’s the same shower gel all
   the time, Jesus knows we dread to think the day the shower gel manufacturer
   changes the shower Gel packaging. Brushing our pearly white teeth which any
   parent of a Spectrum child would agree with me. It’s an arduous task, anyone
   walking past our house would think that we are strangling Tegumailagi with
   his loud screams. Tooth brushing is an uncomfortable sensation that he
   screams in pain. We have resorted to the double headed toothbrush or the
   fingerfitted brush for a good back tooth brush. Every layer of background
   noise is heard by Tegu, so there is no point in Ta trying to escape to go
   anywhere without him as he hears all this. We are thankful to Beethoven for
   soothing classicals that relaxes him. In all morning routine there is no
   words out of Tegu but he knows exactly where to wait ( at the bottom of the
   stairs) for his favorite breakfast of honey on toast. In light golden brown
   the toast is equally cut out edges and in even numbers ( because we have a
   fascination for numbers and equal sides) it is eaten with a thankful smile.
   This morning commotion his Ta is the center of his regime. I am so thankful
   for such a wonderful Husband and loving Ta to Tegumailagi. When challenged by
   day to day situation be thankful even the simplest smile of thankfulness
   means progress. X

Lini Sevakasiga-Turova Uncategorized Leave a comment 2nd Apr 201925th Jul 2022 1
Minute


AWARENESS AND EMPATHY

Tegumailagi love the company of Ta and Nau and the idea of staying indoors was a
dream come true. Smiling as he woke up to start with his morning routine as he
excitedly exclaimed “No socks No Shoes” his Ta replied “no school today boy”. I
turned to face him, he ran over to give me hug, and I held on to him a little
bit longer this time. Weeks before they were learning to wash their hands
thoroughly singing the “happy birthday song”. Everytime his Ta and I was to wash
our hands he would be stood there singing the happy birthday song till the end
to make sure our hand washing was thorough. All the jigsaws and colouring books
were out this was a Party for Tegu. He loved staying indoors so isolation was
his prayers answered. In the evening we were to be going to town later for
grocery shopping as always it’s a chore to get him out the frontdoor. We tend to
do our shopping in bulk monthly. This means less hassle for Tegu and no
disturbed weekend routine. We could already sense that this was going to be a
struggle for us. All grocery shops by now only allowed things to be bought in
multiples of three at it’s maximum. Tegumailagi’s diet was very limited to only
bread and potatoe waffles or Mcoys cheese and onion crisps this is for all three
meals the same thing everyday. An empty waffles fridge and not a cheese and
onion Mcoys crisp in sight. To the bread isle I clocked the sliced bread. This
was the very last packet of sliced bread. The closer I got the further away from
the bread I was. It seemed like every person was pushing their trolley in the
direction of the bread shelf. Reached for the Bread “i thought wait for it Lini”
then spoke a very warm but fragile little old lady from behind her trolley, “ be
a kind dear and kindly pass me a packet of slice bread up there please young
lady” i took that last one which I was reaching for and gave her it she smiled
with a “thank you” and left. A tsunami of emotion overwhelmed me. As it’s always
mentioned in the Army “you got to look after number 1(look after yourself) but
this was the exact opposite of what was going on here. I smiled with tears
filling up in my eyes and walked away with an empty trolley,confused but morally
satisfied with that act of kindness inside the supermarket. Walking towards
Tegumailagi and his Ta who were waiting patiently for me at the carpark. They
knew that it was not a successful shopping trip as I entered the car trying to
keep it together wiping away tears from my face. Then to the last of the many
grocery shops in our local area we went, we entered hoping for bread or potatoe
waffles the same situation. Fridges were bare. Stop worrying Lini get your act
together today is a good day, Yes I was reassuring myself. Walked up casually to
the lady that was sorting out the frozen delivery “ excuse me sorry to be a
bother but when will potatoe waffles delivery be in ? “this was the most
important question of the day. She smile and said “its at the back, I will have
to get you it bear with me”. This was a magical day in every sense. An extremely
powerful intuitive and awareness of the humane thought process of empathy. Yes,
we might have different obstacles in life, Don’t seize in doing unto others what
you want others to do unto you. Don’t ever think that your little act of
kindness goes unnoticed. An act of kindness can forster a connection with other
people during their times of bleakness. Empathy is definitely the way forward
for Autism Awareness. Don’t give up on progress or hope, let your everyday be an
adventure to discovering your strength. Stay safe, keep loving and keep
discovering. Love n Prayers

Lini Sevakasiga-Turova Uncategorized 8 Comments 18th Apr 202011th Aug 2022 3
Minutes


MAKING AN EFFORT

Going anywhere for the day can be arduous planning. Before Christmas lunch
happened I was already mentioning to Tegumailagi that we will be spending
Christmas lunch with family 10 mins away from our home address. I did mentioned
that we will be there for the duration of the day and won’t be back till late
and also added that there will be all sorts of food and presents and his cousins
will also be there to play with him. He did not say anything back to me when I
mentioned all these things to him he just gave me a smile to me that meant he
was content. I was excited that this would be a good opportunity for us to wear
our Kalavata (matching mother and son outfits) . His Ta went and helped out with
the lovo , while we got ourselves ready. While getting ready I was explaining
the significance of Christmas to Tegumailagi (do you know what we are
celebrating today luvequ? He looked up and smiled) as if to agree that he is
aware of Christmas Celebration. As per usual I kept reassuring him that it’s ok
to go and have lunch somewhere else apart from in our own home we will come back
home when we are done. Got him to put on his kalavata shirt and he politely
decline to put it on ( No Thank you Nau ) was the answer I got. I respectfully
obliged and wore our Kalavata myself. Tegumailagi’s outfit of choice was
remarkable ( Pink long Sleeve shirt and khaki chinos) I really was impressed
with his choice. Bags packed, in the bag were items like chargers in case we run
out of battery life for our gadgets, jigsaw puzzels, and our favourite red
blanket, welly boots because Tegu insisted “its Raining Nau”, so into the bag
went the wellies , a white bowl for his crisps and his juice glass. These were
just some of the things we took, but Nau’s bag of goodies seemed like it was
packed for a weekend away. And if we could, we would fit the kitchen sink into
the bag aswell. We got to the Hall and it took us almost 30 mins to persuade
Tegumailagi into the hall this was after we mentioned “Tegu you can do your
jigsaw in that room” (this was a fairly big storage room) this made Tegu smiled
and he gladly walked into the storage room with his red blanket and myself
behind him with our bag of goodies. It was now lunch time and even though his Ta
and I know what he usually eats for lunch (Waffels,Toast,Crisps) we always make
sure to ask him if he wants something else for a change just to keep him
included in everything we do. Even if there is no answer from Tegu the fact that
he has been considered makes him smile. He kindly requested for (crisps in a
bowl Nau please). He munched smiling as if that was the first time he had eaten
those McCoy’s Cheese and Onion flavoured crisps. We lasted till it was Hall
closing time by this time Tegu was ready for Bed and so was Nau. I came back
home and reflected upon the day, like many things that happened while getting
Tegumailagi ready he could have chosen not to go but he made a choice. He picked
his own outfit and made an effort to get to the Hall. Like many things in life
we make choices, decisions that does not make sense to others, but to you as a
person it does. Allow yourself to make mistakes how else are you to learn. Keep
walking your walk, it will be someone else’s preferential choice to make an
effort and walk with you. Life is certainly not a dress rehearsal so keep being
you and make an effort to get there. Thank you Tegumailagi for reminding Nau to
include and always make an effort to get there .

Lini Sevakasiga-Turova Uncategorized 2 Comments 30th Dec 201931st Dec 2019 3
Minutes


FAITH IN PRAYER

We were told only time will tell if Tegumailagi manages to speak. I got back
from Canada after couple of months. Gave my awesome twosome the biggest cuddle i
could ever share with them. This was reality , I had a read of the formal
diagnosis letter from the Paediatrician over and over again, I just needed to
see if there was a typing error ( not that there was) or may be it was sent to
the wrong address. This is once again my mummy head on trying to protect my
Tegu. I would wait for Tegu and his Ta to sleep just so that I could deal with
this emotional roller coaster & research on intervention ideas of speech
progress, there was so much on the web and in the library to know, but none of
it mentioned about time line for speech. Patience is definitely a virtue, now
I’m reminded about this beautiful words in the book of Romans, Be joyful in
hope, patient in affliction and be faithful in prayer. Everyday Seci and I would
wait and listen to hear if Tegu was to say anything. On our morning routine his
Ta would speak to him even though there was no answer he would continue to speak
to Tegu. On the way to school we would say ” Good Morning Tegumailagi, you’re a
clever boy aren’t you , Ta and Nau loves you ” there was always a smile in
return from Tegu with no verbal interaction, One thing was clear he understood
us and that kept us going. I would hide my tears as it was both tears of love
and sadness, it all flooded with a lot of unanswered questions , will Tegu be
able to say “I’m ok Nau or I love you Nau… was this possible? , or would this be
just a dream?How much more heart ache is a person suppose to go through?
Everyday these we’re my questions that I yearned to be answered. We can’t give
up. I wanted reassurance there and then, just that dose of optimism that all
will be alright. As all the conversation was in “hand gestures”, if Tegu wanted
water, he would point at the tap for water, if he needed to go out side he would
put on his boots, he would also know when it was time for evening devotion. ( he
would walk up to the Tv and switch it off even if his Ta was watching the
rugby). Tegu is now saying one to five words everyday. Like many things we tend
to think of the what ifs and the i should have, be rest assured that , memories
will be made,(either good or bad) what will be will be, keep praying for prayers
are answered in God’s timings and not yours. It would not matter how big your
trial is, it will be conquered. Your hardships are your blessing in disguise.
Don’t ever think that it’s IMPOSSIBLE” it spells out Im Possible. X

Lini Sevakasiga-Turova Uncategorized 14 Comments 14th May 201914th May 2019 2
Minutes


ACCEPTING TO CONQUER

As a Mum to Tegumailagi I could not fathom the unexplainable emotion I went
through when receiving the news of his formal diagnosis. At work I was given
dates of my overseas deployment to Canada, I went home to relay the news to my
husband Seci and Tegumailagi, who was very supportive of me going. Everyday
after that I would whisper in Tegu’s ears ” Nau is going away soon remember I
love you” I realised he understood what I said (Tegu was 3yrs old at the time)
he would look away but held on to my hands. This will also be the first time I
was to leave them together on their own. Bags packed Tegu and his Ta took me
into camp to get on the Duty transport to the Airport. They followed the duty
vehicle to the airport to farewell me. Tegu was confused that I was not in the
same car as them. This upset him and he was clinging on to me as if to say ”
don’t go Nau”. We said our goodbyes as I walked in to the check-in counter I
could not help but look back to see my Tegu. Was he looking back to see me? All
I could see was his little head turning my way with that look of reassurance to
let me know ” I will be alright Nau” . This time around stood in my combats, I
had my mummy head on with tears streaming down my cheeks which I could not help.
I reminded myself he is in the capable hands of his Ta. Wiped my tears and
continued with my check-in. My family know how easily I get the waterworks
going. Weeks after being in Canada, Tegu and his Ta into their routine in the UK
I received a message to give them a call. Excited about seeing them on video, i
went to get good internet access for a FaceTime. Nothing prepared my heart for
the news that I was about to receive. Seci my husband mentioned ” well we
received letter through the post from the Paediatrician…… long pause ( I knew
what was coming) as if there was interference on the internet. These was two
broken hearted parents who are hundreds of miles apart trying to make sense of
the situation at hand. We reassured each other yes we can do this. Tegu will be
alright. All I wanted was to have a family hug (hubby, Tegu and I) and reassure
my Tegumailagi that it will be fine. Gods timing is best, indeed it is, as I
walked back to my accommodation, it felt like the longest walk I’ve ever done. I
thought to myself maybe if I was at home I would be too emotionally drained to
absorb this news, and would be in denial. We both knew in our hearts what was
coming, acceptance as hard as I wanted to my heart as a mum was not accepting
it, my head was saying pull yourself together Lini. Testing times in itself
would be our reason to stay positive and be the voice of Tegumailagi. It was
also my reason to draw closer to God, and be thankful for Tegumailagi. Where do
we go from here, as time is our healer and Jesus is our witness we continue to
readjust, adapt, overcome and stay faithful and most of all positive.

Lini Sevakasiga-Turova Uncategorized 2 Comments 4th Apr 20194th Apr 2019 2
Minutes


LOVE IN A CARD

Excited to finish work early on a Friday. This was an opportunity to accompany
my husband to pick up Tegumailagi from school this is one important appointment
that I look forward to every Friday. I walked down the school gates from the car
park, into the main reception area and eagerly waited for my “Darlin Tegu” .

About 5 minutes into waiting, I could just about see his little face trying to
get eye contact to confirm that I have seen him. Oh his excited face was as if
we have been apart for a lifetime, I got a lovely hug and he handed me his jade
book bag to hold. We arrived home, Tegu was persuading me have a look in the
book bag. I handed his PECs folder to him which is usually in his bookbag, By
this time I could make out that it was not what he intended for me to see. He
immediately reached into the book bag and showed me the card he made at school
with the biggest smile he hugged me again handed me the card. With tears
following down my cheeks, I said “thank you luvequ” , Nau loves you so much. For
a split moment there I knew that Tegumailagi could show affection. We started
this Autism journey with so much emotion and thoughts of “what if” and ” we
could have” . But now on the homerun. Our infectious optimism is winning. If it
was meant to be it will be. What ever the situation stay positive and keep
believing. Thank you my darling Tegumailagi. Your actions does speak louder than
words

Lini Sevakasiga-Turova Uncategorized 2 Comments 31st Mar 201931st Mar 2019 1
Minute
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