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May 01, 2019
WOMAN WRITES A DETAILED PLAN FOR ANYONE WHO’S TRYING TO ESCAPE AN ABUSIVE
PARTNER
Gerda
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Flip through any women’s magazine and you can find a multitude of articles on
how to ‘spice up’ your relationship, ‘please your partner,’ or even get into a
relationship – but what is less common is reading about how to get out of a
relationship. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, “On
average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate
partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10
million women and men.”
Abusive behavior can begin with signs such as name-calling, threats,
possessiveness, or distrust and gradually grow into physical violence. These
situations can be difficult and life-threatening to get out of, so one woman
posted some advice online.
SHARE ICON1 IN 4 WOMEN IN THE U.S EXPERIENCE SEVERE INTIMATE PARTNER PHYSICAL
VIOLENCE – SOMEONE ONLINE SHARED A SAFETY ESCAPE PLAN
Image credits: iStock / SolStock (not the actual photo)
On Facebook, one user ‘Maddie’ shared a step-by-step guide for anyone who had
questions on if and how they should leave their abusive partner. The safety plan
was broken down into sections such as finances, possessions, housing, family and
work. In the plan, it focused on how to go off the grid, as 60.8% of female
stalking victims in the U.S reported being stalked by a current or former
intimate partner.
A FACEBOOK USER BY THE NAME OF ‘MADDIE’ WROTE STEP-BY-STEP INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW
TO LEAVE AN ABUSIVE PARTNER AND START OVER WITH FINANCIAL, WORK, AND HOUSING
ADVICE
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Domestic abuse appears in many forms and abusers may try to convince the person
they are abusing that their behavior is coming from a place of love. Before
physical abuse occurs or during it is important to be aware of the signs.
According to NCADV abusive tendencies can include the following:
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Isolating the victim financially by taking their money or refusing to give them
money for their expenses. Controlling how all of the money in the household is
spent. Interferring in the victims work life by preventing them from going to
work, harassing them at their workplace or keeping them up all night so they
perform badly.
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Another sign is negatively affecting their relationships with other people,
including friends and family. They might discourage the victim from seeing their
friends and family members, tell them they are a bad parent and threaten to take
away or hurt their children. If they do allow the victim to spend time with
other’s they might display signs of jealousy and dictate who and when you can
see others.
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Chiping away at self-esteem is another technique abusers use to control their
victims. This can include shaming or embarassing them with put-downs, dictating
their physical appearance, and telling them they can never do anything right.
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Physical abuse can harm a person’s health in more than one way. Abusers may
force their partner to have sex with others, sabotage their birth control or
refuse to use protection, pressure them to use drugs or alcohol or forcing them
to have sex with the abuser when they don’t want to. Almost half of female
(46.7%) and male (44.9%) victims of rape in the United States were raped by an
acquaintance. Of these, 45.4% of female rape victims and 29% of male rape
victims were raped by an intimate partner.11
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GERDA
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Mama Panda
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
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When I finally mustered up enough courage to leave, I had a game plan. It took
approximately 6 months to get everything done. I send my clothes to my parents'
home. I stole from my psycho ex bf. Anything that I knew he wouldn't miss like
old cell phones and pagers (this was in the 90s when I left and in the USA). I
opened up a new bank account via phone when he wasn't around in the state I was
planning on moving to and I deposited all of my money there via mail. I informed
the police, the dmv (it was legally my car), the cell phone company, and anyone
else I could think of at the time. My biggest mistake was telling our neighbors
who were friends who swore they wouldn't say a word-they lied! My job was really
supportive of me as well. When he found me states away, I simply reminded him
that I still knew a lot of people where I was going and there was a lot of
dessert. They had shovels and no one would really miss him! Haven't heard from
him since! Hang in there, it can be done! <3
Vote comment up
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StealTheFruit
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
* Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report
You are amazing! Well done for getting away AND standing up to him! You are so
strong! I respect you so much. <3
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Mama Panda
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
* Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report
David Bursac, think what you want but the little things I stole did not compare
to the years where my paycheck became only his and I had to beg for lunch money
for when I was at work only to be beaten and then given $2, maybe $3 to last me
a 14 hour shift, where anything I owned that I valued was destroyed and he stole
my car and used it as his only! I was not allowed to drive my own car. So say
what you must because you don't understand that a person must do what they can
to escape and if I stole a few items that he forgot about and were buried in
boxes in the attic, then so be it.
Vote comment up
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Mama Panda
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
* Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report
Thank you StealTheFruit. It was scary as hell but I couldn't take it anymore.
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Staurt Sylvia
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
* Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report
The spell caster that restored my marriage after my husband left me, you can
contact him for any help lordmasukaspelltemple@hotmail.com or whatsapp him
+1(234)-307-0752
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David Bursac
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5 years ago
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
* Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report
you stole? you are a shitpiece better than him. not really.
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Adam Cantor
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5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger
2001-2017
* Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report
One thing I heard was to never post/share somebody looking for somebody that is
"missing". A lot of times an abuser will post on social media saying that so and
so is missing and track them down this way. Only share "missing" posts if
they're accompanied by a phone number to emergency services or put out by the
police themselves. As much as you want to help "find" somebody that is
"missing", they might not want to be found. Please think twice about sharing
this kind of stuff on FB.
Vote comment up
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Tamerah Long
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
* Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report
Thank you Adam. I truly hadn't thought about that and I shared a "missing" post
this morning. I will be a lot more circumspect in future.
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Kacey Mulcahy
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
* Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report
I messed up with this one. I help track down local teens and stuff who go
missing by using phone records and what not. A few months ago a couple I babysit
for posted that the wife was missing. I found her within hours thinking
something bad had happened. Come to find out, she was running from him 😔 but
she left her kids with him so I wouldn’t have thought, ya know. The man
convinced me he was scared she was abducted
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Lingon
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
* Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report
Photos is not something you need to bring, if they aren't digital, just take
pictures of them and post online, like on photobucket in a private album. And in
many countries, if you have a dog, call the kennel club and make any information
they have on your dog private. The same if you have any registered animals in
any club.
Vote comment up
15
15points
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Sarah Dumphy
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
* Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report
Never use Photobucket now. They've gone to c**p
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Mama Panda
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
* Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report
When I finally mustered up enough courage to leave, I had a game plan. It took
approximately 6 months to get everything done. I send my clothes to my parents'
home. I stole from my psycho ex bf. Anything that I knew he wouldn't miss like
old cell phones and pagers (this was in the 90s when I left and in the USA). I
opened up a new bank account via phone when he wasn't around in the state I was
planning on moving to and I deposited all of my money there via mail. I informed
the police, the dmv (it was legally my car), the cell phone company, and anyone
else I could think of at the time. My biggest mistake was telling our neighbors
who were friends who swore they wouldn't say a word-they lied! My job was really
supportive of me as well. When he found me states away, I simply reminded him
that I still knew a lot of people where I was going and there was a lot of
dessert. They had shovels and no one would really miss him! Haven't heard from
him since! Hang in there, it can be done! <3
Vote comment up
70
70points
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StealTheFruit
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
* Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report
You are amazing! Well done for getting away AND standing up to him! You are so
strong! I respect you so much. <3
Vote comment up
14
14points
Vote comment down
reply
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Mama Panda
Mama Panda
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
* Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report
David Bursac, think what you want but the little things I stole did not compare
to the years where my paycheck became only his and I had to beg for lunch money
for when I was at work only to be beaten and then given $2, maybe $3 to last me
a 14 hour shift, where anything I owned that I valued was destroyed and he stole
my car and used it as his only! I was not allowed to drive my own car. So say
what you must because you don't understand that a person must do what they can
to escape and if I stole a few items that he forgot about and were buried in
boxes in the attic, then so be it.
Vote comment up
10
10points
Vote comment down
reply
Mama Panda
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
* Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report
Thank you StealTheFruit. It was scary as hell but I couldn't take it anymore.
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5
5points
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Staurt Sylvia
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
* Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report
The spell caster that restored my marriage after my husband left me, you can
contact him for any help lordmasukaspelltemple@hotmail.com or whatsapp him
+1(234)-307-0752
Vote comment up
-1
-1point
Vote comment down
reply
David Bursac
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5 years ago
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
* Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report
you stole? you are a shitpiece better than him. not really.
Vote comment up
-34
-34points
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Adam Cantor
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FollowUnfollow
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger
2001-2017
* Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report
One thing I heard was to never post/share somebody looking for somebody that is
"missing". A lot of times an abuser will post on social media saying that so and
so is missing and track them down this way. Only share "missing" posts if
they're accompanied by a phone number to emergency services or put out by the
police themselves. As much as you want to help "find" somebody that is
"missing", they might not want to be found. Please think twice about sharing
this kind of stuff on FB.
Vote comment up
48
48points
Vote comment down
reply
Tamerah Long
Tamerah Long
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FollowUnfollow
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
* Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report
Thank you Adam. I truly hadn't thought about that and I shared a "missing" post
this morning. I will be a lot more circumspect in future.
Vote comment up
16
16points
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Kacey Mulcahy
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FollowUnfollow
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
* Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report
I messed up with this one. I help track down local teens and stuff who go
missing by using phone records and what not. A few months ago a couple I babysit
for posted that the wife was missing. I found her within hours thinking
something bad had happened. Come to find out, she was running from him 😔 but
she left her kids with him so I wouldn’t have thought, ya know. The man
convinced me he was scared she was abducted
Vote comment up
0
0points
Vote comment down
reply
Lingon
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FollowUnfollow
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
* Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report
Photos is not something you need to bring, if they aren't digital, just take
pictures of them and post online, like on photobucket in a private album. And in
many countries, if you have a dog, call the kennel club and make any information
they have on your dog private. The same if you have any registered animals in
any club.
Vote comment up
15
15points
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reply
Sarah Dumphy
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FollowUnfollow
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
* Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report
Never use Photobucket now. They've gone to c**p
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1point
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40 Relatable Comics If You've Ever Had A Cat, Created By Mark Parisi
11comments 65 points
My 38 Cute And Silly Visual Puns
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Hey Pandas, AITA For Refusing My Friend And My Son’s Visit After Multiple
Warnings About My Dad?
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Hey Pandas, AITA For Refusing To Cover The Expenses Generated By My Ex-Best
Friend And Her Boyfriend?
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Korean Artist Jiwon Lee Crafts Stunning Balloon Food That Looks Good Enough to
Eat (43 Pics)
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Line By Line: My Collection Of 15 Drawings With Parallel Strokes
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Hey Pandas, What Is Something That People Are Judged For That You Think Is
Ridiculous? (Closed)
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Artist Creates Black-And-White Paintings Reflecting The Bond Between Humans,
Nature, And Animals (30 Pics)
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This Adorable, Yet Sad-Looking Cat Outlives Veterinary Predictions, Enjoying
Senior Years
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This Artist Creates Her Paintings Using Coffee, And Here Are Her 36 New Works
5comments 38 points
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