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Emotional Health


WORRIED ABOUT MONEY THIS HOLIDAY SEASON? HERE’S WHAT FINANCIAL PSYCHOLOGISTS
WANT YOU TO KNOW

The ‘most wonderful time of the year’ can be expensive. And in the midst of
mounting global uncertainties and rising inflation, that can indeed be a
challenge.

By
Lisa Rapaport
Medically Reviewed
by
Allison Young, MD
on November 2, 2022
FacebookTwitterPinterest
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Our pocketbooks have taken a hit. That doesn’t need to spell trouble for your
holiday festivities though.Getty Images

With inflation driving up costs of everything from groceries to clothing and
other essentials, it can be tough to think about how your wallet is going to
bear the extra expenses that may come with the holiday season.

And economic figures would suggest many of our pocketbooks have indeed been
squeezed.

Inflation is surging, increasing by 8.3 percent over the last year, according to
the Bureau of Labor Statistics (PDF). Basics, like food, have experienced the
largest increases over a 12-month span since 1979. About one-third of families
who work full-time earn enough to cover basic needs (housing, food, healthcare),
according to a study published earlier this year.

And 32 percent of adults say that if they were faced with an unexpected $400
expense, they would need to borrow or sell something or not be able to cover it,
according to a report from The Federal Reserve published in May.



“Inflation is making prices go through the roof,” says financial psychotherapist
Alex Melkumian, PsyD, a licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of
the Financial Psychology Center in Los Angeles.

It’s a problem for all types of earners. Regardless of income bracket, the
current financial landscape is making what’s considered “normal” now feel out of
reach for many people, Dr. Melkumian says. “Everyone is having to scale down.”


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And that scaling down can definitely take its toll on mental health, especially
when it comes to the “most wonderful time of the year.” A lot of us have high
expectations when it comes to the holidays. If you have to cut back on
gift-giving or other seasonal festivities, Melkumian says: “This may bring up
feelings of shortcomings and being 'less than.'”

There may not be an easy fix for inflation or low wages. But according to
Melkumian: “It helps to pause and understand that the whole world is going
through it.”

Here’s more on why you might be feeling so stung by the current economic
realities and how to cope.

RELATED: Why Making Time for Holiday Traditions Is Self-Care, Too


GLOBAL UNCERTAINTIES MAKE MONEY WORRIES WORSE

In 2022, U.S. adults ranked financial worries as their biggest source of stress,
according to a report from the American Psychological Association (APA). Nearly
90 percent of adults said their top source of stress stemmed from inflation. 



Another 2022 survey from the American Academy of Sleep Medicine found that about
90 percent of Americans lost sleep at night because of economic or
pandemic-related health worries.

Money stress became more acute for many during the pandemic. Income loss and
concern about financial security have been associated with increased depression,
regardless of how much money people made before the pandemic, or their level of
anxiety related to the coronavirus itself, according to a study.

That research suggests it’s not only income loss or financial hits that cause
financial stress; worrying about potential financial hardships causes stress,
too.

Uncertainty can also trigger anxiety, says Megan McCoy, PhD, a licensed marriage
and family therapist and personal financial planning professor at Kansas State
University in Manhattan, who researches the relationship between financial
planning and mental health. 

Today, “the uncertainty is around Russia, the supply chain, inflation, and the
housing market. The sense of ambiguity around the economy is still very present
in many of our lives,” she says.

Worries about money, especially if you’re struggling to make ends meet, take a
toll on your well-being. “Financial stress has been linked to physical,
emotional, and relational issues,” says Dr. McCoy. 

She points to a 2019 report from the Money and Mental Health Policy Institute
that linked financial stress to depression, anxiety, and isolation. The
ramifications on mental health become even more severe if someone cuts back on
essentials, such as food, because of financial problems. 

And, McCoy says, research also finds that financial stress is linked to marital
conflict and ability to parent. And food insecurity has been shown to impact the
development of children of low-income parents, according to Georgetown
University. 

If you have a chronic disease (such as diabetes, hypertension, or liver
disease), you’re also more likely to have less financial stability compared with
those who don’t, according to one study. This can make it even trickier to find
your financial footing, particularly in tough times.

RELATED: How to Practice Gratitude (and Why It's So Good for You)


MONEY TROUBLE AT THE HOLIDAYS DELIVERS A UNIQUE STING

For many of us, gift-giving is a way of reinforcing social ties with friends and
family. We can feel a deep sense of shame when we’re not able to give gifts or
feel upset if we don’t receive gifts from people we’re close to who we’ve
exchanged gifts with in the past, says Ed Coambs, a certified financial planner
and financial marriage and family therapist who is the author of The Healthy
Love and Money Way, and has developed financial psychology courses for couples
and individuals.

“When we are wrestling with shame, we are wrestling with our sense of
acceptability,” Coambs says. We fear that our relationships with loved ones will
be damaged if gifts aren’t exchanged, and our sense of shame only increases when
we can’t afford to give a gift that seems big enough to express how much we
value the relationship.

On the flip side, we can also feel like our relationship isn’t valued if we
don’t receive a gift or receive a gift that’s smaller than we expected, Coambs
says.

Some people see money as a magic salve for emotional distress. So when they
don’t have the funds to create the perfect holiday experience (whether it's
buying gifts or other goodies of the season), they feel distressed instead of
appreciating the potential to celebrate in less expensive ways, McCoy adds.

Others equate their net worth with their self-worth, and feel any inability to
afford holiday activities is a personal failure rather than a temporary
financial setback, McCoy says.

In other instances, people may feel so anxious about the potential for their
finances to take a turn for the worse that they cut spending too drastically and
miss out on opportunities to connect with friends and family.

Especially because so many of us missed seeing family or exchanging presents
because of the pandemic during the past two years, we may be putting even more
pressure on ourselves to make the holidays and our gift-giving special these
years when we are able to be together, says Debra L. Kaplan, a licensed
professional counselor and financial therapist based in Tucson, Arizona. 

“People are compensating for the previous time. As a result, many are accruing
debt due to their increased spending and the effects of price inflation,” she
adds.

“The feeling of 'not enough-ness' is prevalent for many this year. It’s as if
people need to make up for lost opportunities to show love and affection,” she
says. “And the holidays are already rife with emotions and family expectations.”

RELATED: 5 Ways to Give Better Gifts, According to Science


TIPS FOR COPING WITH FINANCIAL STRESS THIS HOLIDAY SEASON

You may not be able to change your financial circumstances in time for the
holidays, but there is a lot you can do to manage the stress you may feel around
your spending this time of year, financial therapists say. Some things include:

 * Watch out for avoidant behavior when it comes to money trouble. Refusing to
   talk about money or open bills this time of year will only make your holiday
   financial stress feel worse, McCoy says.
 * Reflect on (and talk about) past experiences about unmet gift expectations.
   Talking to someone about how you’ve felt in the past when you couldn’t give
   gifts or you didn’t receive gifts can help you build “financial empathy” into
   your relationships, Coambs says.
 * Set boundaries to limit financial stress. Don’t be afraid to limit gifts you
   will give and what celebrations you will join this year if you can’t afford
   to do as much as you might like, Kaplan says. Consider how to reinvent how
   you celebrate to save money.
 * Focus on experiences instead of things. Think outside the box and try a
   gift-making party, bake things for people, or throw a potluck instead of
   hosting a huge meal and footing the entire bill yourself, Melkumian suggests.
 * Use resources in your area when you need them and when you can. Navigating
   the holidays when it’s challenging to buy groceries is a huge stressor. If
   your family is in need of food assistance, there are places you can turn to
   for help, says the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Start with the
   U.S. Department of Agriculture’s hunger hotline (866-3-HUNGRY), or text 97779
   with a question that uses words “food” or “meals” and receive a response that
   directs you to places in your areas. The website FoodFinder is another place
   to check out. There are also programs that can help eligible residents pay
   bills, such as the home energy bill; visit USAGov for more info.

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