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The Babylon Bee · May 31, 2023 · 69
The Bee Interviews Elon Musk

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It happened again! The Babylon Bee team got to sit down with Twitter's new boss
to discuss Twitter, free speech, and Elon's relationship with Jesus (m...

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Business · May 31, 2023 · 93
Chick-fil-A Now Training White Employees To Say 'My Privilege'

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ATLANTA — As his first act, Chick-fil-A's new VP of Diversity, Equity, &
Inclusion Erick McReynolds has revised company vocab guidelines, requir...

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World · May 31, 2023 · 83
African Children Politely Decline Donation Of Target Pride Merch

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UGANDA — With Target boycotts sweeping the nation, the company has been forced
to send pallets of unsold Pride merchandise to impoverished tribes in...
168极速赛车历史开奖记录 - 极速赛车一分钟开奖结果查询 - 开奖记录直播
168极速赛车历史开奖记录 - 极速赛车一分钟开奖结果查询 - 开奖记录直播
Politics · May 31, 2023 · 107

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U.S. — According to sources, former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie will
announce his candidacy for president next week. Already, several politic...

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Sponsored · May 31, 2023 · 102
8 Non-Woke Places To Shop

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In case you haven't heard, everything is woke now! This includes all your
favorite places to shop. Since you can't swing a dead cat without hitting so...

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Sponsored · May 31, 2023 · 102
8 Non-Woke Places To Shop

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In case you haven't heard, everything is woke now! This includes all your
favorite places to shop. Since you can't swing a dead cat without hitting so...
World · May 31, 2023 · 83
African Children Politely Decline Donation Of Target Pride Merch

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UGANDA — With Target boycotts sweeping the nation, the company has been forced
to send pallets of unsold Pride merchandise to impoverished tribes in...

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Dad Threatens To Wear Fanny Pack On Family Vacation If Children Don’t Behave

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Local Man Sick Of Anti-Gun Protesters Showing Up Every Time He Wears A Tank Top
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Nation Takes Day To Solemnly Remember That BEST BUY IS HAVING A MASSIVE BLOWOUT
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Lifestyle · May 30, 2023 · 158
Are You Gay? 9 Signs To Look For

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Did you know that you might be gay and not even know it? It's true! We've
consulted with experts in psychology and sodomy to help you identify the tel...
Sponsored · May 30, 2023 · 180
Top 10 GREATEST Christian Metal Bands Of All Time

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Christianity has been producing superior metal since David's imprecatory Psalms.
We had our team of experts scour thousands of years of face-melting J...
Worldviews · May 30, 2023 · 123
With All Other Companies Going Woke, Conservatives Make Last Stand At Texas
Buc-ee's

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NEW BRAUNFELS, TX — In the wake of many popular retail chains, restaurants, and
merchandise vendors falling to the ever-growing trend of woke ideolo...
Sponsored · May 29, 2023 · 145
8 Sure Signs The End Of The World Will Come This Year

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At long last, the end of the world is upon us. At any minute the trumpets will
sound and we'll be caught up into heaven, leaving only our clothes and ...

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The Babylon Bee · May 30, 2023 · 42
TRAILER: Elon Musk & The Babylon Bee At Twitter HQ

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The Babylon Bee sat down with Elon Musk for a wide-ranging interview discussing
free speech, his purchase of Twitter to free The Bee, and - most impor...
The Babylon Bee · May 26, 2023 · 27
Tent Hunters: California Couple Searches For Their Dream Home

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"Tent Hunters" is the hot new show where host Mavis Mangdorian helps people in
California find a tent to live in.
The Babylon Bee · May 19, 2023 · 39
Apple Explains Why You Should Get Your Kids An iPhone

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Should you get your kid an iPhone? Of course. If you don't, you hate your child.
In this new press conference from Apple, the tech giant explains all ...

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U.S. · May 28, 2023 · 153
Target Launches New Kids' Clothing Line With Partner Ghislaine Maxwell

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Target has unveiled a tropical summer line of kids' clothing
with new design partner Ghislaine Maxwell.
Tech · May 29, 2023 · 108
New Productivity App Just Turns Your Phone Off

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U.S. — The tech world is abuzz over an innovative new productivity app now
available for iPhone and Android. The app is said to boost productivity b...
Scripture · May 27, 2023 · 139
Archeologists Uncover Target Store Ruins From Sodom And Gomorrah

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ISRAEL — Archeologists have uncovered what they believe are the final remains of
Sodom and Gomorrah's beloved Target store.
Politics · May 28, 2023 · 96
Deal Reached On Debt Ceiling As McCarthy Offers Biden Two Pints Of Chocolate
Chip Ice Cream

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — The White House and GOP announced a deal has been reached on
the debt ceiling after Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy offered B...

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Prem · May 29, 2023 · 124
Memorial Day Thread: Who Are You Remembering?

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Hello, Bee family!
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(OUTTAKES) Is The FBI Listening To Your Phone Calls?

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You look like you've been working hard and could use a break, so here are a few
bloopers and outtakes from our recent sketch. Enjoy. You deserve it.
Premium · May 23, 2023 · 105
Rejected Headlines Part II

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As a loyal subscriber to the Bee, you get to peek behind the scenes and see
headlines we deemed unfit for public consumption! We hope this serves to k...
Premium · May 22, 2023 · 72
The Bee Does San Francisco!

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Life · May 27, 2023 · 90
Man With Terrible Imposter Syndrome Also Really Bad At His Job

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DENVER, CO — Local man Dave Johnson has long suffered from the fear that
everyone will one day realize he's not really qualified for his job. As it ...
U.S. · May 27, 2023 · 103
LASIK Surgeon Offering ‘Total Blindness’ Option For Pride Month

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ROANOKE, VA — LASIK Surgeon Dr. Adam Slade has begun offering a new "Total
Blindness" option to help people get through Pride Month.
Scripture · May 27, 2023 · 132
Disaster As Adam Forgets Adage 'Leaves Of Three, Let Them Be' When Making First
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EDEN — Forgetting the famous saying about leaves of three, Adam came to the
horrible realization that something was terribly wrong with his first le...
Entertainment · May 26, 2023 · 137
Disney Remake Just Like Classic Disney Movie But Bad

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U.S. — The live-action remake of the beloved Disney film The Little Mermaid is
just like a classic Disney movie but bad, say critics. Despite advanc...
Politics · May 26, 2023 · 97
'I'm Not Sanctimonious And I Don't Look Like A Meatball,' Whispers Ron DeSantis
Crying Self To Sleep At Night

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TALLAHASSEE, FL — Soft whimpers were heard late last night at the Governor's
Mansion, as aides reported Ron DeSantis whispering in between sobs over...
Politics · May 26, 2023 · 118
'Florida Is A Mismanaged Hellhole And Only An Idiot Would Live There,' Says
Trump

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MAR-A-LAGO, FL — Trump made a statement from his Florida resort on Wednesday,
responding to DeSantis's announcement he was running for President. In...
Family · May 26, 2023 · 80
Homeschooler Looking Forward To Last Day Of School In 12 Years

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KANSAS CITY, KS — A local boy in his first year of homeschooling took a short
break from his studies today to daydream about what it will be like on...
Worldviews · May 26, 2023 · 95
In Unprecedented Attack On Human Rights, Target Moves Pride Displays Back 20
Feet

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Human rights activists planned large protests in the coming
weeks after learning retail giant Target had committed the unprecedent...
Family · May 26, 2023 · 103
Woman Enters 8th Hour Of Argument She's Having With Husband Entirely In Her Head

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REDWOOD CITY, CA — Local wife Jill Williams spent the better part of Tuesday
having a drawn-out argument with her husband Tad that occurred entirely...
Theology · May 25, 2023 · 155
Jordan Peterson Considers Every Possible Meaning Of Bible Story Except That It
Might Mean Exactly What It Says

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TORONTO — Despite staggering intellect and deep study of God's Word,
psychologist/professor/author/speaker/room-cleaning enthusiast Dr. Jordan B.
Pe...
U.S. · May 25, 2023 · 122
Innocent Multi-Billion Dollar Corporation Ruthlessly Attacked By People Not
Giving Them Money

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN — According to sources, an innocent multi-billion dollar
megacorporation has come under ruthless attack from a terrifying group of d...
Finance · May 25, 2023 · 114
Mechanic Determines Car Repairs Will Cost Whatever Your Whole Paycheck Is This
Month

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U.S. — Expert analysis indicates that the next time you bring your car to a
mechanic the cost of repairs will perfectly match your paycheck for the ...
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