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“THIS IS NOT WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE ON TV:” CAROL MIRMAN ON THE 1970 KENT STATE
SHOOTINGS

When the United States invaded Cambodia in 1970, college campuses around the
country erupted in the most violent, disruptive set of antiwar demonstrations of
the entire Vietnam period. The FBI listed 1,785 student demonstrations and 313
building occupations during the 1969–1970 school year. At Kent State University
in Ohio, four undergraduates were killed on May 4, 1970 when the National Guard
opened fire at an antiwar rally. Carol Mirman was a senior at Kent State in
1970, preparing to graduate with a degree in Fine Arts. Like other students, she
was outraged that National Guard troops were stationed on campus. She took part
in the rally on May 4, and witnessed, to her horror, the shooting deaths of her
fellow students.

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MIRMAN: On Sunday the troops were called in. I’d heard the governor was coming
down to the site of the former ROTC Building which was right near the heating
plant which is where I was doing my graduation show. I was getting ready to
graduate and I was preparing for my senior show in painting and my studio space
was in the heating plant which was an eye view from the ROTC Building so I hung
down there all the time. So I went down there to check out the governor who came
in and called the students Brown Shirts and Agnew who was making all sorts of
nasty statements about the students. And the Guard came out and there was tanks
and helicopters and guys with uniforms and guns and things like that — I’d never
seen anything like that.

And as it became darker word was going through the crowd — I don’t remember if
it was officially announced — that we needed to disperse, and after a certain
hour we were to stay on campus and were no longer allowed to leave campus. I was
exceedingly irate about that. ‘What is this war — it’s war here.’ I mean it’s
ridiculous. Nobody’s really done anything. I didn’t support the ROTC Building
being burned down but nonetheless that didn’t mean the tanks had to come. That
didn’t mean that Guards and people with guns and bayonets and teargas and
helicopters had to come. But, sure enough, there they all were. And as night
approached and the helicopters there ‘thup-thup-thupping’ overhead and the
strobe lights were flashing which was a sense of complete unreality — I was
thinking 'Phooey on those guys. Who says we can’t go someplace. This is my
school. My campus and my country. This is America., ya know. I have rights — 21
year old rights — I was 21 years old — and I want to go where I want to go. But
not everybody felt that way. Actually up at the other end of the street away
from where I was, that’s where I had heard someone had, several people had been
bayoneted.

I don’t recall exactly what transpired. There was a lot of movement. It was dark
at that point — people — and then tear gas was released, and I definitely felt
the tear gas and got the heck out of there. And it burned.

Then I heard through the grapevine, and there was just a lot of grapevine — I
couldn’t even tell you what the grapevine was, but there was — that there was a
rally, an antiwar rally this time on Monday. And while I had never been to an
antiwar rally that I can recall in the past, it was cool because I had had a
growing awareness to the opposition to the war. I went to it because I was
pretty pissed off about all this army — it seemed like an army to me. Now they
were stabbing people. Now they were tanks and this time there was tear gas and
awful things and it didn’t seem to make any sense and we were not supposed to be
in groups of more than two people at one time. Excuse me! So I went to the
rally. And when there was somebody in charge, organized and said “Disperse” and
people didn’t disperse — I was as stubborn as many others saying, excuse me,
I’ve got my rights, I’m not dispersing. But in fact when they started coming at
us with guns, I dispersed with the rest of them. And we ran up the hill with the
Guard behind us marching in line. And that was like a scary sight.

So as — there weren’t that many students there that were involved in the rally.
I couldn’t tell you how many at that time. And there weren’t even that many on
the periphery at the rally. But as things began to get more heated up, and it
was noon, and it was a school day, more and more students began to appear on the
periphery. So the Guard drove us up over the top of that hill where the
sculpture was and down — I went down into the parking lot. I was one of those
people in the parking lot that you could see in a lot of photographs, and it’s
from the parking lot that the more active people were, and the few rocks that
were thrown were thrown. And I did throw some rocks. I have to be frank about
that because, heck, I gave that testimony 30 years ago to the FBI, I quit, I
couldn’t seem to hit a darned thing. It didn’t seem to make any sense to me to
throw a rock if you can’t hit something — these guys were really far away — and
I couldn’t throw for beans anyway. It was more of an angry statement to me. I
really never wanted to hurt anybody, but I was mad at all this — war. It seemed
like war to me. I’d never seen anything like that in my life. I did see one rock
hit a Guardsman. And I say this because there were reports that came out of the
press that fire hydrants had been thrown, Guardsmen had been bleeding and there
was lots of lies afterwards, but I was right there, in the middle of it — nada —
did not happen. But the one rock that I did see bounced off of a Guardsman’s
helmet. And we’re talkin' like a long way away. These guys were way down in the
field. And that was that. So the Guard were in a crouching position with their
guns out to shoot. Like you would think the Continental Army was. I mean, they
were literally in that kind of a position. It was a shock. I thought they would
shoot tear gas. But they didn’t. And they — the next thing I knew from where I
was — there weren’t that many of us in the parking lot — the Guard was not
surrounded at that point. There’s pictures to show it. Lots of lies about that.
Now that’s not to deny that there were those people, those Guardsman down there
didn’t feel surrounded, didn’t feel threatened, weren’t tired, weren’t in all
kind of different circumstances, but the physical reality was not that.

So they got up and moved and, I thought retreated up the hill. I was with that
group of people that followed them up the hill and said “Yeah, get off the
campus, get outta here, we don’t want you here, get outta here” and was makin'
lots of noise. And then I heard a single shot. And then there was a volley. I
was very close to the Guard and the bullets whizzed past my ears. I was very
much in the line of fire.

I do recall — some of those things are sort of burned into my memory. I remember
thinking so clearly when that volley went by my ear “This is not what it sounds
like on TV. This is not what the bullets sound like on cartoons.” It was a very
different sound, the bullets so close to one’s head, to one’s ears. Very
different sound. And I jumped over bodies and ran down the hill. I also recall
some students saying “Walk, don’t run. They’re only blanks.” And I remember
thinking “Huh? Why carry a weapon if you don’t have something in it that’s
intended to work.” I’m outta here. And I did. I ran over bodies two, three deep
were hittin' the ground. And so I ran down the hill to a place of safety, but by
the time I was behind that yellow Volkswagen which was right near where Jeff
Miller was shot, the volley had stopped. I got up when the volley had stopped to
look to see what the heck had happened. And I did see Jeff Miller at that time —
and — that’s when the photograph of me was taken by Jeff Miller. I’d never seen
blood like that. I’d never seen anything like that. It was a complete shock. I
wanted to touch him. I remember wanting to hold him, but I was afraid of the
blood. I did touch and hold his hand. I didn’t want him to feel alone. I figured
how can anybody live with this. Life is running down the sidewalk. Running. Just
kept flowing. And there was nothing to be done, that I felt I could do.

Source: Interviewed by Sandra Perlman Halem, April 1, 2000
Courtesy of May 4 Collection Kent State University